to wonder about these older children still in strollers...

[chaya5738]

OK, so I know I am totally setting myself up to be flamed for being judgmental but...

I am wondering what the deal is with all these almost adult-sized children in strollers. I see them everywhere. During my lunch break just now I went into a toy store and there was this boy who looked to be about seven - no physical or mental disabilites that impaired his ability to wander at an ok speed around the store - browsing with his mum. When it was time to leave the store she calls him over and he gets into a stroller and off they go. It was bizarre. And then a few days ago on the train a similar thing. A mother gets on with her daughter who looks about seven or eight. She then gets herself out of the stroller, jumps all over the seats, has a grand old time and then when the train stops at the next station she gets back in the stroller and off they go. And then I saw this over the weekend again as we walked along the river. This child who was almost as tall as me happily sitting back in a stroller while she was pushed along by her parents.

I don't remember being in a stroller at all when I was small so I must have stopped being in one quite young. I remember going on shopping outings with my mum and getting quite tired, and probably complaining a bit, but we'd just stopped for a cup of tea or my mother would walk a bit slower. I soon built up shopping stamina that sees me in good stead today.

Admittedly my DD is only 15 months old so I don't really have a good grounding for saying when children should stop being in strollers but I seem to be seeing quite old children with no physical disabilities being pushed around because, presumably, it is faster for their parents to do shopping that way. Is this true MNetters? And what does this say about the health and fitness of our children...

I reserve the right to come back and retract this post in three years time when DD is five and I can't get any shopping done without strapping her into a stroller.

sorry, that was ananswer to jenaimwahahaha

Ds uses a Major (very rarely nowadays but still needed on occasion) due to ASD and I've had people making remarks about what a big boy he is. Well trust me, he weighs a ton, if he would walk reliably beside me then I wouldn't be pushing!

Mind you, dd was nearly 7 when she had her hernia op. The next day was lovely and sunny so we popped her in ds's old Chicco and took her along the seafront for some fresh air. She loved it! Luckily she has always been petite so we got away with not too many judgy stares.

Btw, never got on with slings. The front ones gave me mastitis and when I replaced it with a back carrier ds (mini Houdini, since found out he has loose joints) spent the whole time trying to climb out which I found terrifying. Kept imagining his little head hitting the pavement.

And I really shouldn't get so shirty about this because I used to be one of those who was very judgey about it, too [hblush] [hblush]. Then again, a judgey past is maybe why I feel obligated to be so feisty and defensive now.

YAB a bit U.

I have a double buggy and sometimes, if I don't have the baby or toddler my DS age 4 LOVES jumping in and being wheeled around. It's a bit of a laugh/comfort thing. Like using a sippy cup or trying out baby food.

That's not to say that I would take a stroller to take my DS to school.

I can't comment on the 7 year old thing as I have never seen it. Would they fit? My DD is nearly 6 and doesn't fit in a stroller/buggy.

Like the name, Stewiegriffinsmom.

was I being rude stewieg? I didn't mean to be!

Stewie - I don't think Otchayaniye was saying that slings are better than prams. She was responding to an earlier comment suggesting that many people who promote the use of slings don't go anywhere without driving.

No I don't think she was either, just explaining how she personally manages.

I have a friend who's in her early 20s and has ME. She can walk, but for extremely variable distances, so tends to go places in a wheelchair, sometimes getting out to walk for a bit for exercise and then getting back in when she gets tired. We do sometimes get extremely filthy looks from people when out, presumably because they think the wheelchair's just there for the fun of it.

So while I'd be a bit surprised by a large child in a stroller, I'd try to not assume that there's not a possible good reason for it, even if they are walking around for some or even a lot of the time.

I like what Stewie said.

I'm glad a few people have had a think about this:

'But I will think of this thread whenever I feel myself getting judgey in the future. How awful that some of you have had to justify yourselves like that.'

Thanks, KingThistle

Has the op been back btw?

Ryuk, That is very sad she gets filthy looks from people.

tbh - If I don't know the child and they look 7 and they are using a buggy I would assume there was a good reason for it.

I had to stop using buggy for dd1 by the time she was 21/2 because she was so big she would tip it over in her determination to get out and I had a new baby so I could pop a buggy board on the back to give dd a lift when she needed it. DD2 is now 2 and will probably still use buggy for another year and then ditch it entirely.

I totally emabrassed myself with a mum I knew a little bit asking her when her son (in his buggy) was starting at pre-school she said 'oh he starts school in September (this was June) and I had assumed that as I always saw him in buggy that he must be coming up to 3 not 5! Very bad idea to voice your assumptions.

FFS. Do you think any reasonable parent 'wants' their child to be in a stroller at 7? They are not convenient, they are a pain in the arse. Any parent that has a child in a stroller at this age will have a good reason, me included. My DS has SEN and is about to get his disability buggy. If you saw me out and about you'd think I was a 'lazy' parent as some of you have been so ignorant to put it. Why don't you take off the judgy pants for a second and put yourself in our shoes. Life is hard enough for parents of disabled kids, particularly those with less 'visible' ones. They don't have signs on their heads you know....

What is a car if not a wheelchair for the non-disabled?

As I told dd's consultant when he berated me for letting dd use a wheelchair. He looked quite taken aback.

How often do you judge people for letting their children travel by car? Lazy parenting?

I will say that YABU, but I do understand that people do not always realise that a child with a medical condiditon or disability may seem perfectly ok when seen by a stranger for a short while.

We may well end up being a family you judge. Our DD is 7 and autistic. She can walk but refuses very often and is highly dangerous due to not having the ability to judge dangers by herself. We have been putting off getting a special needs buggy for her, as we have wanted to keep encouraging her to walk, and not give her an easy route out, but now she is so big and we have been trying for long, it seems it may be the only way. We can't keep carrying her, I can barely manage at all now, and my DP not much more. On the plus side a buggy will open up more places that she will be able to go to and save money on petrol, as currently we drive even the smallest journey when she is with us. So although it is a very large expense, it will probably save money in the long term.

It does in some ways worry me about people looking and judging us, but TBH I have got so used to people being rude, and laughing at us, that my skin has got very thick to it, so if her being in a buggy will open up more experiances to her, then I dont really care what others think.

Yikes, I just managed to check back in to this thread and saw there were over a hundred replies. When I last checked there were only 13 or so. I will have a read and get back to you all. Thanks for the responses!

Well said, baggy. What a pity judgy types don't have to walk round with labels so we can identify them from a distance, eh? Would make our lives so much easier when out and about!

thederkinsdame - yes! Maybe judgey pants wearers should have to wear a collar to show themselves .

I have no problem with people who are curious and ask, when the time is appropriate not in the middle of DDs breakdown. I will spend alot of time talking to people, explaining autism and trying to answer any questions they have. I hope they go away with a better understanding and pass it onto people they know. It is people who are nasty/make remarks/judge etc.... with no desire to actually understand the situation that relly get my goat.

Yep, I know where you're coming from. I was explaining to someone that DS had autism, as he was having a wobble and being a bit odd. She laughed and said 'no, he's just really naughty' I just turned around and asked her which part of having a disability didn't she understand?

thederkinsdame its even worse when comments like that come from so called family.

I have asked a complete stranger to please show me his PHD is child development, in front of a very crowded room, slightly louder than needed. He shut up.

I wish we all didn't have to make these responses. Ask and parent with a kids with SEN and they all have a mine of stories of twuntery to hand. And at the bottom of it all is sheer ignorance and snap judgements, like 'O h, he's a bit big to be in a buggy'

Yup! sigh