To hate the way my in-laws do the food part of Christmas?

[TattyDevine]

I know I am being unreasonable about what is a common difference of preferences so try and treat it as a lighthearted thread though feel free to tell me IABU because I am.

First: Disclaimer - I am very glad my Parents in law are alive and well and able to spend Christmas with us. Whilst I hate the way the food is done, I am "grateful" that they do it - well, sort of - we do it every second year and we make a better effort at appearing grateful than they do - we at least thank them for the meal and make appreciative sounds throughout. So if anyone says YABU for being ungrateful, fine, but it kinda goes both ways and yes, I would rather be at home doing my own food, I go there for the sake of my DH and children. That's what Christmas should be about - but it is also about the food for me that we do share together, as I love food and preparing food, but accept that others have different views on how it should be done. Accept - not like! Here goes...

I hate the way they dont get a standard normal turkey with legs and wings, but buy 2 turkey crowns, overcook them, having ripped the skin off when they are still raw, discarding it when they know I like it, and serve up mountains of shreds of overcooked sawdusty breast and nothing else simply because they prefer breast.

I hate the way they cook the brussels sprouts the night before (for at least half an hour - in fact, I think they might have put them on already!) and then reheat them in the microwave 5 minutes before the meal is served. They are a deep khaki green colour and smell like hangover farts.

I hate the way the gravy is watery and tastes more like marmite than anything else - due, mainly, to its high marmite content

I hate the way all the other vegetables are burnt to a crisp and then placed on a heated trolley thing 2 hours before the meal is served to stay warm, and I hate the way they turn to cardboard.

I hate the way the smoke alarm goes off every single time, about 30 minutes before they serve up. Get an oven timer. The smoke alarm is supposed to alert you to dangerously high levels of smoke. That's that grey stuff that is billowing out of the oven and making all our eyes stream, by the way.

I hate the way the only drink they put out is Asti Spumante even though we bring champagne and decent Sav Blanc etc which they hide away then hand back to us when we leave because they "dont drink". They dont - but if they dont drink, why not just let us drink what we want to drink? We do ask them for the stuff we bought but then they turn around and say "but we've already opened the Asti!". These days we try and time it so DH takes charge of the "drinks situation" quite a while before dinner is served (hell, by midday I'm gagging for something, ANYTHING) before anything else gets opened and he holds it back now and puts it outside so its cold, but we had to politey refuse the Asti completely one year so it got tipped down the sink to get to that stage as they are pretty stubborn...

I hate the way they hold back the pudding and make us eat biscuits instead after the lunch bit, because "everyone is too full for pudding", when in fact we are not too full for pudding, because we did not overeat, and see no real benefit in consuming the same amount of bulk and calories in biscuits only to eat pudding later when we are, in fact, not hungry.

I hate the way it is assumed that custard does not go lumpy if you dont stir it just because you have cooked it in a bain-marie. It does. You have to stir it to just under the boil whatever you cook it in. And is there anything wrong with a bit of brandy butter? Just because you dont like it? Why not put out the little pot of it we brought with us? It wont kill you from the other end of the table. Hell, let us get it, rather than fobbing us off with "cant' find it in the fridge" (its in the DOOOOOORRRRRR!)

Okay, that's it for me, unless I think of anything eles. I know its mean, but better out than in - I dont want to rant to my own mother or DH about it, because its mean and bitchy, but they are not on t'internet, and it feels good, gets it out of my system and I can turn up and be charming on the day. That's not such a bad thing, is it?

What would you change about the way your parents or parents in law prepare and serve Christmas Dinner?

This thread is making me very grateful that Dp's parents,though separated,spend the Festive period together in Claridges,and don't go anywhere near us.

Though it does show that they have little interest in DP.They wouldn't dream of inviting him,but that's another thread.

Avocadoes, next time bring a little lunchbox with all your favourite foods. And if FIL still wants a bite, make sure you loudly cough all over your plate. If he insists, do a tiny spit.

It's been like it for aaaaages, bigchris - weeks, possibly even months! :)

I sort of agree with faaaamily but then I'm not a foodie and do use aunt bessies roasties and yorkshires and would on Xmas day if dh would let me
I could t forgive the drink thing though, it's just mean if you ask to open the bottle you've bought with you and someone says no

Letthereberock - on their own? Do they just shag at Xmas then?

I could have forgiven them most of it until tatty said about the infant formula - that was disgusting behaviour.

Have they always cooked like this?
Bring a cooler for your or baby formula, brandy butter & champagne?
My mum always over cooked meat, usually only the gravy would be hot, the rest lukewarm. Her meat was so dry I put butter on it as a teen, and only liked it later on, when I'd puree some with mayo for sandwiches.

Surely,Faaamily,the spirit of Christmas involves considering one's guests's needs and desires, into consideration?

The OP's parents in laws don't seem to do that. It isn't just about the bad food,it's that they don't seem to care about the needs of their guests.
If they're not hungry then no one else can be.If they don't like dark meat then no one else does either.

PS Could you give them a meat thermometer for a present?

They sound awful Tatty - presumably your DH turned out normal, though?!

Faaamily - it's just a light-hearted thread - get into the spirit of it! Tatty sounds lovely actually - and very long-suffering! :)

LOL.Perhaps so,though I'd rather not dwell on that thought.

They have Christmas Eve dinner,in Claridges, with their daughters and their family,and boxing day dinner with friends in bloody Claridges again,and afternoon tea there reguarly, but not with their son,they never invite my DP, even though he works in London during the week.

no, YANBU. i have it worse though - i am far to polite to comment on MIL annoying roasts (not just christmas... every year - but i have to endure her fussing around me about everthing i do when i do a roast. her: "oh, are you only doing two vegetables! me: "yes. potatoes, carrots and brocolli. do you really need 9 types of over boiled, cold vegetables including cheesy bloodly leeks" oh do you think pink will be ok for the children. yes. perfectyl fine. not all meat has to be chargrilled...

This thread has made me grateful for my in laws (who I could very easily slag off most of the time) - the only thing they don't do is season any food, then if dp starts adding salt/pepper/herbs to cooking they tell him he's ruined it

However, things could be much worse! at formula

At least you ILs had some alcohol. At my first (and last) Xmas meal with the ILs the only liquid served was coca-cola! Neice IL 'doesn't like' poultry/veg/potatoes so had a frozen pizza made for her! Doe to numbers of fussy eaters/veggies the only roast was a frozen battery chicken served with frozen sprouts and frozen roast potatoes. Have they never heard of fresh food, I wondered? There was no starter, no chipolatas, no cranberry sauce, no parsnips, basically nothing Christmassy at all.

It didn't take much persuading of DP to convince him that we dont go to their meal now, but just pop in to say hi/exchange pressies then off to my parents to have a proper party get drunk.

I cannot believe that any one ever would cook a bird WITHOUT the skin on???? I don't even eat it that muchbut it's to keep it moist!!!

Yasoooonbu!

I have successfully dodged 5 Xmas dinners at PIL mwahaha, FIL literally starts cooking everything in November, they also have five different joints of meat, which I think is awful and also have beef gravy on turkey. They don't have brandy butter either!
All the veg is cooked by mil so is boiled to death.
In my defense I do manage to choke down similar style roast dinners with them.
I blame my parents- is the curse of being half French half Italian and only ever eating delicious food.

I love mashed potatoes, and when we've done our own Christmas dinner here, we have loads - AND some roasts too!!!

Too much starch - such a thing does not exist in Meow's household!!!

I love mash too - but sometimes the situation calls for a different kind of potato

Generally speaking I'd sooner have mashed potatoes than roast. I'm not terribly fond of roast potatoes.

I'd prefer boiled new potatoes with garlic or herb butter,or best of all,potato dauphinoise.

YANBU, I am a control freak and that kind of Christmas would drive me insane .

Avocadoes, I think, this year you should make your own cake to keep at home, complete with marzipan stable, and let your children choose which figures they want to eat and take some naff plastic Christmas tree to put on your FIL cake!

I'm that a Grandad would behave like that to his own DGCs. Mean old bugger!

YANBU and your descriptions made me chuckle!

YABU not to take control of the drinks situation though. Just say "Hope you don't mind, but I'm opening the wine I brought, it's my favourite!" You should at least have decent booze to help see you through the meal

I used to be told how many sprouts I was getting before the meal was cooked. They used to count them out in the shop for each person when they were buying them (and remove the outer leaves in the shop, so they didnt have to pay for the extra weight) I used to fume through the whole meal as that was just one part of it but I giggle at the memory now.

We have mash and roasties too at my mum's.

Although it's not as bad as the stories on here, my ILs don't really do Christmas dinner as one should (i.e. like my parents). My dad will serve wine from 9am should you request it! And it will be the good stuff, or champagne if you prefer.
My mum serves sausages at 11, and at 3 will present you with huge plates piled high with turkey (light and dark), roasties, mash, sprouts, carrots and proper gravy. You also get apple and cranberry sauce.
You can have pudding straight away, or if you don't like pudding you can have trifle that she has made. All the time my dad keeps the wine flowing.
You will roll home!

My ILs don't really see food as celebration, so will buy turkey roll and everything else from M&S. Nice enough, but a bit boring. And some random wine (they don't drink) or grape juice. Because it's done fairly spartan, it doesn't take long so you're then twiddling your thumbs in front of the TV rather than lingering over your pudding and sixth glass when it's time to go home :o

This thread makes me very grateful for my parents and PILs who push the boat out at Christmas and cook good quality food very well and serve it with lovely wine.

But, my brother and I had to drop some subtle hints for a few years when my mum started to use Aunt Bessies roast potatoes. We kept offering to peel the potatoes and talking about how you could even roast potatoes and last year she went back to cooking proper roast potatoes.

My inlaws are a little bit paternalistic in their treatment of all their 40 plus year old 'children', and aren't particularly accommodating if people like different things than they do - but we're lucky that what they do like to do for Christmas goes down well with us.

We've had some nightmare Christmas Eves and New years Eves at their house when the DC were babies and toddlers and wouldn't settle to sleep on time before an extravagant meal started. They would not stall the meal on one occasion nor dessert on another occasion and DH or I had to sit upstairs settling a baby whilst listening to everyone eating downstairs. Fair enough if the meal would have been spoilt, but both times it was things that could have been delayed. MIL likes to go on about how Italian babies are always happily around the family dinner table. We were always too gracious to make the point that often it is the grandparents who are holding the baby around the dinner table!

OP - I think I'd be looking for reasons to opt out of Christmas day at your inlaws!

PMSL @ the opening post.

It really did have me in stitches. I'd just go and get pissed before hand so I have the munchies and would eat anything...