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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think classes and groups are dull...

47 replies

ladylobster · 14/10/2010 16:28

and only for the mum, of no benefit to the baby until they reach a certain age?!

I have been to a few of late, because friends say i should, HV thinks its good, partner does too... but i am left feeling that it really mucks up with my baby's routine, is usually unenjoyable because of the stress of baby crying / upset, and totally takes up my entire day when i have other things to do like running a house / a life!!

I know i dont have to go to these things, and like meeting new people like the rest do, but do find that some women are bored with their baby's already and only want to network - whereas I am of the opinion that i am on leave to enjoy my baby, not network...

Our mum's didnt have this sort of thing did they, surely, and they did OK

So am I being unreasonable?!

OP posts:

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 14/10/2010 16:30

YABU. Don't go if you don't like them.

And yes, our mums did have them.

Thingumy · 14/10/2010 16:31

YANBU

I never went to baby groups/classes.Wasn't my thang,my 2 have grown up reasonable stable without.

overmydeadbody · 14/10/2010 16:31

Oh, you mean baby classes and groups! I thought you meant all classes and groups!

Yeah, baby classes and groups are dull. just hang out with your friends. Unless of course you don't have any, then a class or group is a good place to try to meet some.

Our parentds might not have had this, but they had neighbors and communities that cared, extended family that lived nearby, or they died of boredom and loneliness.

muddleduck · 14/10/2010 16:31

when did making friends start being called 'networking'?

Callisto · 14/10/2010 16:32

I did baby signing for a while (great fun, but DD was around 6m by then) and Tumble Tots when she was around 2, but I have never done any playgroups or anything. They are my idea of hell tbh, so you're not being U at all.

backwardpossom · 14/10/2010 16:32

I don't know, sure, going to the baby and toddler group has meant I met other parents and I've made some good friends through it, but DS has met kids he'll be going to school with, has become very sociable and is (slowly) learning to share. We've been going since he was 12 weeks - he's now almost 15 months. Had we not gone, we'd be in the house by ourselves and I'd probably be demented and he wouldn't have people his own age to 'play with'.

So yes, YABU.

ididnamechangeforthis · 14/10/2010 16:33

I never did baby groups,it just wasn't my cup of tea, and I always found,even at the baby clinic that there were always competitve parents there which put me off....

I do appreciate though, that other people may enjoy the whole thing, and making new friends etc.

lynniep · 14/10/2010 16:34

well, yes, you are.
Dont go if you dont like them. Do what works best for you.
They arent dull. Well some might be - but none of the ones I go to are - and yes, its for mums/carers etc to get together and give them somewhere to go, not just for babies, which I for one am always desperate for.

If they don't suit you, please dont feel pressurised to attend. Wait till you think its time. You might never think that, or you may change your mind once baby is on the move

SpringHeeledJack · 14/10/2010 16:35

oh God there is an absolute mania for groups these days. It's sort of like you're not doing it properly unless you're at a group

I can't think of anything worse. Squeaky mums singing aaaaaaaaargh

I remember my dd getting off my knee at music time and crawling through the chair legs to get away

cory · 14/10/2010 16:45

The groups I enjoyed were the small ones that just met at home for a coffee and a chat. Those children stayed friends for years.

RandomMusings · 14/10/2010 16:47

my mum and her mates used to Put The Towel out

Hang a towel out of the front upstairs window then put the kettle on and see who rocked up

RandomMusings · 14/10/2010 16:48

this was before telephones were the norm

we was poor and ate coal and wore bread rolls for shoes etc etc

Firawla · 14/10/2010 16:48

yabu, dont like it dont go but other people find them good & yes our mums did have them - well i know mine did
ridiculous to say people go because they are bored of their babies

Original poster

ladylobster · 14/10/2010 16:50

Spring Heeled Jack - i agree!!

I'm not totally against them, but like it says above, if your not doing them then your not parenting properly is the general consensus

I did the NCT classes and have made a good set of friends, but in general, people are not happy unless they are doing at least one group a day, its all a bit OTT for me, what about interacting with your baby on a one to one basis too!

OP posts:

RhinestoneCowgirl · 14/10/2010 16:51

Well it depends on the group. I'm sort of biased as I now help run a toddler group - attendance isn't compulsory you know, we don't go around press ganging people

And I do spend time with friends as well, just in the early days many of my friends didn't have children and were at work all day, so if I wanted other people to talk to I had to go out to groups.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 14/10/2010 16:53

Babies are quite boring when they are young. What's wrong with getting out and having a chat and a piece of cake? You won't be able to do it when they are climbing all over the place.

The singing ones are mostly horrid - I luckily went to a good one.

Also our mums DID have them - they were called Consciousness Raising Groups. And they changed the world! Maybe we should start those up again? My mum went to Greenham Common with hers.

saffy85 · 14/10/2010 16:53

I went to a baby rhyme time once. Once in 3 years. Awful. Never again. Give them a try for yourself, I'm glad I did, but never again.

SpringHeeledJack · 14/10/2010 17:01

at Consciousness Raising Groups and going to Greenham Common

sounds a bit more fun/useful than singing "five little fingers" in a draughty church hall for the tenth monday in a row

ledkr · 14/10/2010 17:04

I was lucky and seemed to attract the naughty Mums so we had a good giggle and arranged some child free boozy nights out.

The music group however was another story although dd loved it i spent the whole time on the verge of hysteria at the twee woman singing songs with her guitar and the other Mums taking it all seriously and singing in high voices. My dd used to prefer abit of funky house whilst we were in the car :o

Psychommead · 14/10/2010 17:29

DD goes to two groups and loves them. I do too!

cat64 · 14/10/2010 17:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

togarama · 14/10/2010 17:57

YANBU but as others have said - just don't go! They're not compulsory.

Many of them would bore me to tears too. Prefer working, studying, socialising with existing friends and family reading a good book, jogging, playing violin and piano etc., etc., Spending my free time with random people with whom I likely have nothing in common other than the fact that we both have a baby comes pretty low on my list of priorities.

My mum stayed at home for 10 years and she found mum and baby groups and coffee mornings as boring as hell. She preferred to walk the dogs, bake bread, read, play piano, spend time with family and friends.. and so on.

cakewench · 14/10/2010 18:24

I liked the baby groups. I do think they were more for mums than for the children, at least up until 8 months or so (or more). My son now really enjoys them, and I've gradually gotten to know a range of different families from the various toddler groups we go to. Do I love the groups? Not really. Not all of them, anyway. Some weeks we only attend the 2-3 groups my son really enjoys, some we go to one or two more if the weather is bad and we just need to get out of the house.

I'm glad they exist. I do however understand that it's a bit weird for people to expect you to attend them.

franchisee · 14/10/2010 18:37

I run baby and toddler groups (name changed as I don't want to be recognised by all my customers). If the group is any good, the leader should stimulate and entertain the child, whilst keeping it lighthearted enough for the parents/carers to have a chat around the activities and get to know each other.

Like you say, nobody is forcing you to come. I started up my own group partly because I saw a gap in the market as I was quite lonely when my kids were small - there wasn't mumsnet and not many activities. I think the market for children's groups is getting quite saturated these days though.

By the way, if you're going to come along and do a cat's bum face all the way through, please don't bother.

MrsLucasNorth · 14/10/2010 18:41

They're not for everyone and if you don't enjoy them, don't go.
I work at a Surestart centre and tbh I'd have given my right arm to have had the groups and support they offer when I had my DD 6 years ago. I'm pretty sure it would have made a huge difference when I was struggling with bf and pnd, and could have been the difference between me having more babies or sticking with just DD as I have done.

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