My parents love seeing our dcs AS LONG AS WE'RE THERE. they pester me like hell to go and stay in their rural backwater cheshire hamlet so we can see them. They've never offered NOT ONCE to have dcs without us there. When we're there they don't offer to get up with them for an hour do the bath, nothing. They babysit ocassionally in the evening once the dcs are in bed.
My sister is looking after both of them this weekend at ours from Saturday 1pm to sunday 3pm, she has no dcs but is great with them. My best friend was supposed to be helping out (it's mine and dhs 5 year wedding anniversary) but she's had to go away with work. I've arranged for some other friends to go round to help. However my sister has managed to get my parents not only to come and help with bed time but to stay over to help her, in our house.
I just feel like saying "why the f*k won't you just have them at yours, just once in 4 f*king years to give us a break??, but when she (sister) asks you'll STAY????"
My Mum has never stayed in any of my houses, even after dd was born and i had severe PND. She had flute lessons to go to etc. Choirs to sing in. When me and Dh nearly split and I begged for just one night off she refused, "we're too busy darling". When i was 19 and ended up on anti depressants at university age 19 she didn't want to come and see me. I just stayed in bed, failed my year and cried for months. My dad came eventually and packed me up and brought me home.
I know I sound spoilt and undeserving esp as they're helping look after my dcs for the night. But I'm f**king aghast!!
everytime friends of ours have a bit of time out (and some have a lot) it hurts a bit, but it's really begun to get to me recently. she said Dh shouldn't have asked my sister as it was "too much" for her but we're desperate, i'll admit it, and sister seemed happy to do the night. We just wanted the night off.
BTW when I was pg with dd both sides of Gps offered the world. 4 years down the line the reverse is true.