to be bored with myself and to want to become a Jilly Cooper character for the winter?

[BalloonSlayer]

I want to sit in front of a fire of apple logs, wearing only a Dark Blue towel.

I want a rosy-cheeked face which I have to tone down with green foundation, instead of looking like a corpse unless I put on loads of blusher.

I want to drink three quarters of a bottle of Moet before doing ANYTHING. (Including: getting up in the morning or taking an important exam.)

I want an Absolutely Filthy Mini instead of a people carrier.

I want DH to do thumb exercises so that the ball of his thumb becomes pudgy because apparently that's sexy or something .

I want to lose loads and loads of weight every time I am a bit sad about something, so that everyone who thought I was a minger before is suddenly struck by my beauty, instead of eating cakes to cheer myself up and getting fatter.

AIBU?

i'll have you know i am a well respected serious journalist. just check my regular exposes in the scorpion.

i've been crusing the pages of mumsnet for yonks and selling pieces on the side to the telegraph.

Please report back I need to know and my books are all still packed :(

TooImmature2B - I thinks it's his 'aloofness and enigmatic self-control' that keeps Prudence hanging on. I like the dinner party she gives to impress him, wearing a rust velvet medieval style evening gown and her flat mate, wearing jeans, no bra and a tight t shirt, hands out pieces of loo paper to the guests in the absence of napkins!

Didn't you get fatally impaled in a rather unfortunate place by a unicorn statue's horn, Beattie?

not fatally but desperatly injured. Jilly changed it for the sake of her masterpiece, Score!. I spent months in hospital being soothed by comely nurses and was visited by the Polo fraternity who brought me grapes and lucozade and Fernet branca.
whaturt most was wenthey removed the meadowsweet and monkshood orchids from my fanjo.

what is fernet branca anway?

it's a really strong tasting Italian herbal liquor, drunk as a digestive aid. It's basically so noxious and powerful it kind of steams and boils it's way through your body purging as it goes. Someone with a constitution for booze as strong as yours Beattie would have no trouble.

LMFAO

Fernet Branca

Am I the only one who thinks Declan O'Hara is highly shaggable then?

Love, love, love this thread. Rivals is my favourite but haven't read it for ages. May retrieve it from the shelves this evening...

Beattie - was there a comely Irish nurse at the hospital? I believe all hospitals in Rutshire have at least one of those on shift all the time!

Alouise - (I have mentionedt his before but it is one of my crowning glories in life) - I chose Riders, Rivals and Polo as my books on which I wrote an essay which counted for my GCSE literature exam (20% coursework). I got the highest result in the country for the Northern Examining Board, it was given 100%.

Dumbing down? Pah.

Discosquish, belatedly ... bed! They were struggling on the bed. The sauciness was confined to the long socks and the hanging-out bottom: location very conventional

BelleDame - no, I would fight you for Declan. Although in reality I don't think it would be long before I started saying 'give it a rest with the fucking poetry and take the rubbish out, would you, sweetie?'

Rivals also my favourite. Am also going to dust it off and reread when no one's looking.

Thanks L&S :) I am going to have to get the bookshelves up asap I see. I am suffering from JC withdrawl symptoms and I do not mean Mr Clarkson.

Absolute favourite JC book everyone? Mine is Rivals, I soo wanted to be Taggie.

during university entrance exams i was asked what my favourite book was during the supervised "free time" at hall...amongst the earnest Dostoevsky type answers was me piping up Jilly Cooper's Rivals/Riders

i think that sealed the place

Ron.

All my other friends at school were doing serious type books for GCSE, Austen, Dickens, Henry James etc. And there was I, trouncing them all with Class A chicklit.

It is serious, mainlining, Class A chicklit though. The very pinnacle of it's genre and therefore v v worthy of being studied seriously. On a regular basis, preferably with a hot bubble bath, wine and chocolate to hand

I lived in France Lynch for 9 years
wins

I live in JC's books. Forever.

wins

This thread is fantastic! Am at home, fed up waiting for belated baby to arrive and re-reading Rivals - it's undoubtedly her best, RCB at his finest I think! Although must re-read Polo as I'd forgotten all about some of the characters mentioned here.

We're not worthy, we're not worthy

Bollocks, we're not are we :(

[jealous]

I thought I was a bit special because I drove past a sign to France-Lynch and shriekingly pointed it out to DP (who couldn't give a fuck, to be fair).

I also channel my inner Daisy Macleod whenevr I use the toilets in Cavendish House in Cheltenham

AND my friend Vicky used to help as her housekeeper in the university holidays (rather a long time ago). Her house was apparently exactly like you'd imagine it - full of dogs, cluttered as hell, totally chaotic and utterly amazing.

wins again

Oh must go and re-read riders and rivals. Fave of the girls names ones was Imogen, Octavia ace too though. Oh and I'd be Chessie..rubbing Fracas into my thighs or something