to be bored with myself and to want to become a Jilly Cooper character for the winter?

[BalloonSlayer]

I want to sit in front of a fire of apple logs, wearing only a Dark Blue towel.

I want a rosy-cheeked face which I have to tone down with green foundation, instead of looking like a corpse unless I put on loads of blusher.

I want to drink three quarters of a bottle of Moet before doing ANYTHING. (Including: getting up in the morning or taking an important exam.)

I want an Absolutely Filthy Mini instead of a people carrier.

I want DH to do thumb exercises so that the ball of his thumb becomes pudgy because apparently that's sexy or something .

I want to lose loads and loads of weight every time I am a bit sad about something, so that everyone who thought I was a minger before is suddenly struck by my beauty, instead of eating cakes to cheer myself up and getting fatter.

AIBU?

Sorry Giveshead by the time you have finished Rivals you will be desperately wishing you were Taggie and lusting over RCB like you have never lusted before. Your gumboots will quake, your legs will shiver like willow saplings in a stiff breeze etc etc. You will be standing at your bedroom turret window gazing across at Penscombe and wishing you were there.

And because he falls in love with Taggie after she gets his children to catch a whole lucky month for him in falling leaves.

He kept all Taggie's leaves hidden under the lining paper in his drawers

i wept and wept over Sailor

shall i change my name to rannaldini?

do it

That is the POINT of Riders and Rivals.

The fact that you hate him at first, and then LOVE him (a la Mr Darcy).

However you start falling in love with R C-B at the end of Rivals, when he gets a gold medal with a trapped nerve.

End of Riders, I mean.

RCB wears drawers?

[wilting desire emoticon]

And am I the only person on god's earth who, on re-reading Polo for the umpteenth time, skips all the boring shit about Ricky getting out of Prison etc and goes straight to chapter 42 (Rupert and Taggie's wedding)

So true. Plenty of gritted teeth and flexing jaw muscles in then too.

Too late! Meant RCB's heroic clear round.

And yes, the wedding. He runs up the aisle to her.

eats white bread with a manly appetite

gazes across the valley at the light lit in her room

ohhhh
look how darkly beastly i am

twirls

PMSL

I'm not sure who I'd be. Obviously I'd like to be Taggie but also fairly obviously I would have to beat off masses of competition.

So I will settle for Sarah whatsername who played nude tennis with RCB when Taggie panted up and rang the fire brigade

But then you'd have to be married to an ageing Tory ex-cabinet minister who looks at you over his glasses at the breakfast table.

(Actually I found it really sexy when DH looked at me over his reading glasses but he has since stopped wearing them. I wonder why )

DiscoSquish has clearly never seen my legs.

Oh I would be off and chasing toy boys BS I just want to be able to play tennis in the nude with RCB with my sunburnt yet glowing golden tits bouncing all over the place. And to then get to go to the ball in an old gold taffeta dress with a matching silk shawl that I can let slowly drop, thus showing off my perfect cleavage back and shoulders, whilst coyly peeping at the effect I'm having.

I could have FUN

"Oh, this is like lovely therapy! Once, in an argument, I actually harrangued dh about the fact that he never grabs me from behind when I'm cooking tells me how sexy I am.

He was utterly bewildered."

Properly LOLed

I actually slapped on the last dregs of my bottle of Arpege this morning.

Which character wears Arepege?

SCREAM!

I do love that Wiki's JC article states that it has 'multiple issues'

I'm going to have to buy some Arpege now. Surely soneone in JC wears Shalimar or Mitsouko?

Not sure I can quite bring myself to wear taffeta though, shot or not.

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

Oh I hope she comes on. Can you still buy Fracas? "the sharp, sexy scent she wore" (Cameron Cook was it?)

No-one else says scent any more. Well, Debo the dowager Duchess of Devonshire probably does but there you go!

Perfume-geek - Yes, you can still buy Fracas. It's Madonna's favourite perfume. www.nstperfume.com/2006/09/27/robert-piguet-fracas-an-appreciation/

I bought a knock-off version at 16 and couldn't understand why it smelt so grim. Then they reformulated it and it made sense. It's bloody hard to wear though - one of those scents that enters the room two hours before you do, then refuses to leave.

Oh thanks for that, lol at

"It is as uber feminine as perfume can possibly be, and yes, very, very sexy, although in quite a different way from Bandit. They share a kind of mischievousness, but Fracas has a bright, joyous feel that is miles away from the rebel Bandit. If Bandit is the bad girl, Fracas is Woman (very surely with a capital W), still causing trouble, perhaps, but on her own terms now."

Bandit, fhs!