To want you all to name and shame, crap products you have bought. I'll start...

[darcymum]

Mitchum, smart solid deodorant for men (what's the difference for women?)

I bought two of these stick deodorants, the deodorant part fell off both of them, making them unusable, when I rolled it up, and no I didn't roll it up too much.

Anyone else?

Sainsbury's salt and pepper grinder set with a lifetime guaruntee which no longer grinds after ONE WEEK!

A plant mister from B&Q- the kind that you pump up and get a continuous mist for a minute or so. Sounds brilliant in theory. In practise the bloody thing always leaked all over the place unless all the pressure was entirely released from after every use. One of the very very few things in full working order (debatable) that I have actually thrown away.

I have a panini machine (Morphy Richards I think) which completely incinerates the outside of the bread before the cheese in the middle has melted. I can't even cope with normal sliced bread, never mind chunky panini loaves.

Silky mit, my legs are scarred from over enthusiastic application. Dh laughed himself silly saying "you paid ?5 for fine grade sandpaper!" Also fell for Dead sea scrub and oil things sold by beautiful lady at dept store, realised it was crap and made a present of it to my MIL. It is still in her bathroom untouched, covered in 5 years of dust

MY DH once bought me a ridiculously priced chanel moisturiser - sublimage IIRC....he was stuck on Xmas Eve and panic bought...it was rank, gave me a rash and smelt like deep heat.....

kreecher - JML are a shit manufacturer who advertise a lot on daytime TV, with all manner of useless products. They sell through all manner of shit stores, and my mother frequently buys up all their stock.

My personal favourites were:

The oven glove made of the lining of the space shuttle. Except you only got one in a pack. Who needs a second hand, anyway?//

The laser guided scissors. Need I say more?

And, drum roll please, the CD restoration machine, that removes all scratches and marks from CDs, DVD etc. Also removes the contents of the CD, DVD etc.

They also sell online:

www.jmldirect.com/

Happy shopping!

Some of these posts really made me laugh!!

Got to agree with Mitcham deodorant and Bobbleoff and any fabric conditioner!!

Elvive shampoo
Mothercare maternity tights
YSL Touch Eclat

ANY kind of hair remover cream .... all it does is snap off the hair halfway, so you then have to shave anyway over skin which has already been irritated by the cream (but I keep falling for each wonderful "new" variety that comes out in the forlorn hope that I too can have silky smooth legs you can slide a scarf down, instead of legs you can grate cheese on).

ANY kind of chocolate. It makes me fat - it's not supposed to do that is it FFS ?!?

Febreze in an aerosol ..... without fail these stop spraying altogether when the tin still feels at least 2/3 full, and/or instead of spraying nicely, slops out in a bubbly mess all over your hands. Complete waste of money.

Loo cistern blocks that allegedly last a month - not in our (normal sized) family .... they last a week, if that.

Toastbags - for the 67th time. Burn everything.

ANY kind of cat food that isn't Whiskas or in hideously expensive and pretentious foil trays. (Though there must be some UK cats that do eat Felix et al, just not my spoilt baggages.)

Touche eclat ..... hideously expensive and does NOT make you look radiant (maybe I'm being unreasonable in expecting a miracle ?)

ANY shampoo/conditioner that promises smooth/sleek/straight/non-frizzy hair. They are lying.

Tescos new range of "retro" packaged cakes - anyone seem them ? They taste disgusting. The "whoopies" (I think they're called) are dry and tasteless - should be called whoopsies more like. Ditto mini blackcurrant fairy cakes with jelly sweet on top - aimed at kids - so revolting both me and DD spat them in the bin (we would normally see a cake through to the bitter end even if it was nothing special).

lol @ whoopsies

Henry Hoover. Wobbly connections on the hose thing and suction I could achieve with a straw. It's my worst buy ever

Boots tights - ladder far too easily, now I know why they were getting rid on the 3 for 2.

The stuff that's supposed to removed the scorchy bits from the bottom of the iron. The stuff that's supposed to remove limescale from tiles and showers. Anything that doesn't work!

Magic knickers - they work but after a few hours they are so uncomfy and then make you feel worse when you wear the same dress with the usual ones and feel everything wobbling!

Any kitchen appliances by Dualit. Look pretty. All break. (I'm looking at YOU, mini food processor, and YOU, oh-so-shuny kettle...)

We've had the Dualit kettle, toaster & blender for a few years now & they're still working well.
I like toastabags too.

Agree about those solid-stick deodorants. They really are rubbish.

What we like to call the 'shit wrapper' aka the Tomy Tippee nappy thingy.
It was my husbands job to change it so we ended up with piles of shit rotting in a plastic bucket until I (really) threw it out the window. If I could have picked up my husband he would have gone with it.
That was definitely my biggest waste of money and sanity

So how DO you get rid of limescale? The previous tenants in my flat didn't clean very often, by the looks of it, and the shower screen and tiles are massively watermarked. I have tried white vinegar and all manner of spray cleaners/cream cleaners etc but to no avail! Would soda crystals work...?

Viakal is excellent. There's a spray and a gel.

Marco Pierre White mini food processor. Doesn't process - just flings food to the side of the bowl, where it stays.

Waitrose non-scratch washing scrub sponge thingys. They last no time at all.

Oh, and Aussie shampoo for coloured hair - makes my hair stick together so it is impossible to brush, and then it makes it stiff like cardboard. AWFUL.

Morrisons own brand breast pads are horribly scratchy around the edges.

Dualit toaster is 20 years old however, and still going strong after a couple of element replacements at a few quid a pop. Maybe the modern Dualit appliances aren't so good?

carrefour breast pads disintegrate

Zip-up lunch bag from WH Smith (with lots of owls on it). The handles were stitched in so badly and frayed within three weeks of my daughter taking it to school and she was actually carrying it there in her ruck sack!