to wonder why more couples wtih children dont "share" lie-ins on the weekend?

[TattyDevine]

Okay so obviously some people work on the weekend or have sports things etc but those potential hurdles aside, I'm amazed that so many couples with children dont have a scenario where one person gets to lie-in on a Saturday, and then the other half of the couple gets to lie in on a Sunday.

You see so many disgruntled-wife (usually anyway) scenarios on this board on the weekend about lazy good for nothing DH's who lie in till the afternoon and how unfair it is etc etc but really, it seems so simple to me - there are 2 people in a couple and 2 lie-ins up for grabs on the weekend.

Breastfeeding, work, sports team type stuff aside, why dont more couples pull together and give each other the opportunity to catch up on any sleep defecit once a week? Even if its just till 9am or something - AIBU to think there should be a pre-drafted contract that comes with your child benefit claim form for you to sign and get witnessed that guarantees you do this one thing for each other?! If you dont share lie-ins, why not? What's his/her excuse?

I agree. We do this too. Its a no brainer imho. However some people are morning people anyway and aren't bothered about lie ins so that might be the reason others don't do it

I'm not bothered about lie-ins. I'm quite often up before dcs at the weekends anyway.

Oh sure if you are happy to be up anyway, fine, but even then in my mind there should be one morning where your DH gets up with you to at least "share the load" and one morning where he gets to lie in, not just grab both lie-ins and sleep till 11, etc...

Well you would think it was that simple but even on the rare occasion exh promised me a lie in when it came to it he never actually got up. Or would get up but go into bathroom for half an hour leaving me with dc. Or be up and down stairs asking me where xyz was...

One of the many reasons he is now exh.

i cant have a lie in cause my dp stays up all night at weekends playing xbox games or watching films and then goes to bed when me and dd2 get up.

We don't do this - we just ask/tell eachother as and when. DH needs less sleep than me, plus I am breastfeeding DS3 all night. But DH works until the early hours on Sat morn & Sun morn now so I get up, or if I have had a bad night he still will get up and just lounge in the living room. It's not about rotas and turns, it's about bribery compromise

DH lies in on Saturday

I lie in on Sunday

Sometimes we swap.

Because some people simply will not do it.

Ex would not get up, he just wouldn't and there was nothing I could do or say that would make him, he would just become abusive and/or aggressive and it was just too much hassle to keep trying to force it.

I was thinking about this today, about you sometimes get posts on here wondering how women can allow this situation to arise. Some people are just selfish and have a huge sense of entitlement. I think you have to be married to a half way decent person to begin with who actually has a conscience about this kind of thing. I wasn't. Oh he talked a good game, problems didn't really start until I was about 7 months pregnant with our first child.

He also didn't do any housework, ever, he never once got up with the dc and used to disappear for days at a time. Nothing worked, not talking, not explaining how tired I was, not disappearing so he could see what it was like.

Some people are just like this.

I always got up with the children in the night and he always got up in the mornings. It worked for us - and now there's no children to get up with in the night he still gets up and I get a cup of tea in bed.

DH tends to get up before me in the week to go to work, so I let him lie in at weekends. I also cope better w ith tiredness than him. If I need a lie in though I'll ask him, but I generally wake up and can't get back to sleep, so there's little point!

Wed on't share lie-ins. I lie in and DH gets up with ds. Works for us.

Glad he's now your ex then shimmery. Selfish git.

DH always lets me have a lie in at weekends but in return he gets to have an afternoon nap.
Works for us because DH is an early bird and I'm not.

Wow greaseistheword, I think you need to show you DP this thread. That must be very lonely and frustrating.

I've had Sunday morning ever since we had kids, it was my saviour thru those early sleep deprived days. If yer partner won't do this small thing for you, tis a bad do.

I'm rubbish at sleeping anyway so get up hours before everybody else in the house and I enjoy the peace and quiet. I don't begrudge dh a lie in apart from when he takes the piss like he has this weekend.

DS plays footy on Saturday and Sunday mornings and DH likes to go and watch, so I'm getting all the lie-ins at the moment (no complaints here!!).

But when we were juggling smaller dcs/work/interrupted nights etc we just took it in turns. I never felt like I was doing the lion's share.

Reading your post shimmerysilverghosty it makes me realise how lucky I am.

Well it really should be like that TNMD, so don't start thinking you are lucky, just show him in little ways that you appreciate him because he sounds lovely, your DH.

Like your name as well, wasn't it lovely when Johnny turned up at that school in Greenwich to see those kids? Made me well up that did.

Some men are absolute selfish f*ckers and no amount of trying to get them to understand that they are wrong will change that.

Every day I am glad too that he is my ex Saggar . Life as a single parent is a million times easier than it ever was with him.

i HATE THE YOUR TURN MY TURN mentality
i am not a lier inner though

i akways got up as my h worked bloody hard all week and liked lying in.
it didnt bother me at aqll in all the 5 years i did it

I never liked lie-in till i had a baby

This is exactly what we do, I get the saturday lie-in, he gets Sunday. Amazes me when others dotn do this

there was no way i could equate looking after three kids with his commute and stress