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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to wonder why more couples wtih children dont "share" lie-ins on the weekend?

96 replies

TattyDevine · 10/10/2010 17:28

Okay so obviously some people work on the weekend or have sports things etc but those potential hurdles aside, I'm amazed that so many couples with children dont have a scenario where one person gets to lie-in on a Saturday, and then the other half of the couple gets to lie in on a Sunday.

You see so many disgruntled-wife (usually anyway) scenarios on this board on the weekend about lazy good for nothing DH's who lie in till the afternoon and how unfair it is etc etc but really, it seems so simple to me - there are 2 people in a couple and 2 lie-ins up for grabs on the weekend.

Breastfeeding, work, sports team type stuff aside, why dont more couples pull together and give each other the opportunity to catch up on any sleep defecit once a week? Even if its just till 9am or something - AIBU to think there should be a pre-drafted contract that comes with your child benefit claim form for you to sign and get witnessed that guarantees you do this one thing for each other?! If you dont share lie-ins, why not? What's his/her excuse?

OP posts:

bigchris · 10/10/2010 18:15

Greaseistheword - how can you live like that? So he's up all night playing xbox games and sleeps all day? Do you do anything as a family ? one of my mates dh is like that - she puts up with because because she says it's not worth the moaning if she asks him to get up, lazy bastard

Original poster

TattyDevine · 10/10/2010 18:15

What's wrong with the your turn my turn thing though? Surely its better than the my-turn-itsneveryour-turn-fuck-you-very-much mentality?

Same with who's turn to drive, etc. One person shouldn't get all the fun all the time surely?

(Once again, if you dont care for drink then its a non-issue)

OP posts:

YouHaveVeryMadBanners · 10/10/2010 18:19

I have a lie in on a Saturday, Dh a Sunday, and sometimes I even have a nap on a Sunday afternoon!

Tbh, that is the only time either of us get more than a 3-4 hour stretch without a child or baby waking us.

If there is ever an occasion where we need to be somewhere early of a weekend on one day,Dh gets the lie in on the other day, and I have a nap, as I can do naps, dh cannot.

Mind you, when he was made redundant, and I was on Mat leave, we were both at home together for about 8 months, I always had a lie in, dh would tell me if he wanted one, and then I would get up, but I was the default lier inner ....but, I was either hugely pregnant, or breastfeeding, so I have always been the one awake in the night doing feeds etc. Dh has never ever had to do a night feed.

Works for us.

4andnotout · 10/10/2010 18:24

We share lie in's we dont have specific days but we make sure we both get one a weekend. This morning was the first time in 2 years that we didn't have any children at home yet dp still got up early as he had yesterdays lay in

undercovamutha · 10/10/2010 18:25

We don't swap. If DD gets up early she gets into bed with us and we have a lovely cuddle. DS gets left (contented I might add) in his cot until a decent hour (7 at the very least, often later if we are knackered). Then I get up and make breakfast in bed, and DH gets DS up and changes him.

Then DH and I get back into bed and try our hardest to ignore the DCs for at least another hour, whilst having a doze. Works for us, we enjoy ignoring the DCs snuggling under the covers together as well

herbgarden · 10/10/2010 18:26

We do DH on a Saturday and me on a Sunday as he tends to really need that Saturday slot ( I work p/time and beginning of the week)....I have always been an early riser but it's not necessarily the sleep I need - if I know I won't go back to sleep I get a cup of tea and the Saturday paper or my book and just laze in bed properly reading it without someone wanting to sit on my knee. It's a real treat.

herbgarden · 10/10/2010 18:30

undercuvamutha....mmm I remember those days -now DD is almost 2 and DS 4.3 and I'm afraid it's like a warzone in our bed if we all climb in to bed...it is just not peaceful anymore - DD wants her own pillow - DS insists on making a tent with the duvet. All of them want to swig my tea....get them all out of there and leave me in peace !!!

Bumperlicious · 10/10/2010 18:32

We've always done this. both really like lie ins so would take it in turns. although when i had insomnia while pg i got all the lie ins but dh would go back to bed once i was up. meant we didnt see much of each other but we both needed it.

now with a newborn dh up with dd1 & me with dd2.

IHeartKingThistle · 10/10/2010 18:33

I get Saturday, he gets Sunday. He never complains when my lie-in gets a bit long, I am less patient with him! He'll even get up in the night. Basically I don't deserve him. Reading some of these posts has made me realise not all men are like mine. Must keep him!

saintlydamemrsturnip · 10/10/2010 18:33

We both get up. Our three are a two person job (and ds1 badgers whoever is left in bed anyway).we try it for mothers/fathers days but it never works that well.

Rockbird · 10/10/2010 18:34

We do. I hate mornings so Saturday morning is my one chance for a lie in and DH gets up with DD. Sundays DD and I are up early for mass anyway so DH is left to do his own thing. He is up at sparrows' cough anyway, doesn't do lie ins so his 'lie in' is a bit of peace and quiet to read the papers.

expatinscotland · 10/10/2010 18:36

DH works splits shifts nearly every weekend. He has to get up first because he usually has to be at work for 7.

But DS already gets up right as he's leaving, so neither of us gets a lie-in.

craftynclothy · 10/10/2010 18:51

Dh gives me the lie ins. Mainly because he's a morning person anyway and I'm a terrible sleeper, so even if we go to bed at the same time I get a blot less sleep. This kinda helps balance it out.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 10/10/2010 18:53

I'm planning to ask DP for a lie-in for my birthday. Problem is it's not just a lie in is it - it's also all the chores that need to be done in the morning or you have to get up and do them. Change baby, put nappies in washing machine, empty dishwasher, make up dry nappies etc...

I'm really looking forward to this lie-in I have planned and will be gutted if it doesn't happen...

Sassybeast · 10/10/2010 18:57

I do all the nights, he gets up with them on Saturday and Sunday mornings - they are stupidly early risers though so a 'lie in' lasts until about 8am

Lotkinsgonecurly · 10/10/2010 18:59

We do it in a strict rotation type way! Occasionally we also do it in the week so rather than get up at 6.30am ish depending on our schedules etc one of us will sometimes lie in until 8am.

Tis faberoonie.

nzshar · 10/10/2010 19:14

I get up on Saturdays and DP on Sundays always have always will. Shared responsibilty is the key. He is ds' parent too! :)

taffetacat · 10/10/2010 19:16

Neither of us lie in per se. DH is up and out the house during the week before the DC or I are awake.

At the weekend, the blighters come and climb all over the bed and bug us to make breakfast, I will get up with them and after half an hour downstairs with the DC, DH will emerge showered etc.

We are both morning people.

Manda25 · 10/10/2010 19:30

DP has a lie in till 10-11 on a Sat and I am meant to have a lie in on Sundays ...but I am normally up before my son both days ...I just can not sleep past 7-8am any more.

When my son was younger I used to sleep in more often.

I have no problem with my DP sleeping in till 4pm if he wanted too ....my son is a piece of piss to look after and we both play a game/watch TV/sit on the computer/read/go out ...till DP gets up!

If i went out Fri and sat night and needed the lie-in DP would get up both mornings.

undercovamutha · 10/10/2010 19:38

Herbgarden - my DCs are about the same age as yours (DS is 19mo and DD 4.2yo). We do end up having to tell them to go and play in their room quite a bit, but generally we do get some peace. I can't lie-in anymore anyway - so we negotiate other parts of the weekend.

So i have a long bath and read of book at some point, and DH does some sporty activity. Works for us!

umf · 10/10/2010 19:42

On non-busy Saturday mornings one of us gets up, places milk and banana on coffee table, switches on CBeebies, and gets back into bed. Long live the licence fee.

Bumperlicious · 10/10/2010 19:43

when we were both working part time we also had a rule that whoever was going to work got up with dd1 and woke the other up at the last possible minute.

and like kingthistle dh would never complain at what time i got up but i would get stroppy by 11am

TheButterflyEffect · 10/10/2010 19:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheOldestCat · 10/10/2010 19:47

Ha ha, umf - another one grateful for cbeebies here.

DH has the Saturday lie-in, I have Sunday. He gets up earlier than me in the week and starts at the crack of dawn (he commutes, so is up at 4:30) and I'm on maternity leave with DS. I feel a bit guilty as, for me, work trumps getting up with the kids in the night for me (went back full-time when DD was 6 months and the sleep deprivation was hell, much worse than when I'm off work). BUT I'm breastfeeding so he never does night feeds.

Works for us.

We do end up doing 'competitive tiredness' a bit though but normally realise we're playing top trumps and laugh about it. Normally....

IHeartKingThistle · 10/10/2010 19:55

bumperlicious double I get stroppy way before then! You're nicer than me!

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