I am so 
!!!
Ok, to cut a very very long story short, my XP almost ruined my life in every way possible. He almost left me and DC homeless, ran up huge debts in my name, trashed my car, humiliated me in front of friends, my DD left home because of him, he gambled thousands away, was violent to me, lots more, but it was the financial mess we were in that made me stay with him for so long, until I eventually realised we would never get out of it together, and I would be better off on my own. It has been 5 long years of penny pinching since we split. During that time, he has broken into my house when I was away and stolen £600 in cash, various other items, which I reported to police, but due to the financial strain I do not have contents insurance and so cannot replace them.
I arranged for HA to secure the window he got in through, and tried to put it behind me. 
XP always made himself to be a victim, ahhh poor him, NOT!!!
He has a list of X g/f's who he has treated all the same, the stealing, lying, being a massive financial burden etc etc.
We have a DD together.
XP is in training for world's worst father. He has bought 5 items since my pg. He has DD every other weekend, and asks me to provide practically everything she needs during that time. He seems to pick up none of the responsibilty at all.
XP is not welcome at my home at all. I do not trust him in the slightest. He picks up DD from the end of the road, and returns her to the end of the road.
Despite not darkening my doorstep, he has the audacity to ring me to ask if he can come to see DD at 8pm. 
He knows DD will be in bed. He rings me to tell me something apparently important, and makes lewd suggestions, asking me to take him back. Obviously his g/f has no idea of this and it makes me angry on her behalf.
He uses DD to keep the door open between myself and him. I think he knows without DD I would have nothing at all to do with him!!
I am still resentful that I am paying off debt he caused and he is now duping his next g/f and living a scot free life.
He pays no maintenance.
Now XP has decided that whenever there is a meeting that has anything to do with DD, he will be there (fair enough) and so will his g/f.
So far, his g/f has accompanied him to the courts, the hospital in the middle of the afternoon when DD fell out of her highchair, and every pick up and drop off.
Now I don't know this girl well enough to like or dislike her, but she has even knocked on my door for a cup of tea and a chat 
to discuss XP having more access to DD. I tried to explain to her that XP didn't see DD consistently and I felt he had enough opportunity to see DD, which he rarely took up. She then launched into a diatribe of how awful it was that XP is unhappy until I asked her if he had set her up to ask me for more access. She said No. I listened to her moaning about his 'awful' life for a long time, then I told her that XP was a liar and a thief and he had played her for a fool if she believed his sob stories. I told her in great detail how he had ruined my life and would do the same to her. She just gazed at me with this demonic smile. I told her he had treated all his g/f's within the last 10 years the same. I don't think she believed me.
As far as the access goes, My problem is that XP loves an audience. He seems to be as close to reasonable as possible when there is only him and me. As soon as anyone else is there he will whisper shit to me to try to wind me up, preach to me about parenting, ask me about every (and I mean every) mark or scratch on DD. Since his g/f has been present at access handover, and all other appts, not only does XP do his best to wind me up to verify to his watching girlfriend that I am indeed a loon, she sits in the car grinning inanely at me. She looks like a cross between the Joker and the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland.
I am getting mighty fucked off with it now tbh. I do not understand why when I am obviously getting annoyed with XP, she is grinning at me. I do not understand why she insists on being the receptive audience. I do not understand why she is letting XP take her for a ride, and why she cannot see that this jobless twat (he's out of work again) who his employer sacked for theft, is not Mr Wonderful. She has already had a relationship with an EA before XP. I do not see what my DD's hospital and nursery meetings have to do with a girlfriend he has not been dating for 6 months. I wish XP would fucking see DD regularly, and love her like I do, not as a means to get to me, I hate XP for the shit he has left us in, and the fact I will be paying it off for a good ten years more. I would like to see him suffer but how will he when theres always a woman waiting to put a roof over his head, hot food in his stomach and money in his hand. Grrrrrrr.
I wish she would back off from attending everything relating to DD, so arsewipe XP didnt have a bloody audience to play up to and humiliate me in front of, and he would grow up, but I feel that if I ask her to back off, she will think it is because I want him back which is what he always tells new girlfriends.
Help me control my anger. If I see that inane grin one more bloody time, I am not sure I will be able to control myself.
I know this is not logical or rational. I don't feel very logical or rational.