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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to tell my DH to stop?

111 replies

Flossie69 · 08/10/2010 20:54

or am I just being too precious about it?

Please be gentle with me, as this is my first foray into AIBU.

The story is this:-
My DD is 4.5 months, no where near ready weaning, obviously. My DH thinks its funny to give her tiny tastes of chocolate mousse from his spoon when he is eating it. She doesn't seem to object, and hasn't been ill as a result. I have asked him to stop, but he doesn't see the harm.

So, AIBU to tell him no, or am I being too precious, and no harm will come to her? I am worried that she will become a chocolate monster!

Please could you help us settle this?

OP posts:

diddl · 09/10/2010 16:29

But why can´t the tastes of stuff wait until weaning?

I´m obviously wierd, but I don´t see the reasoning/fun/point whatever to this just give a lick of stuff.

Librashavinganotherbiscuit · 09/10/2010 17:44

Surely it's either ok to give food (other than milk) or it's not, the quantities and what that food is is irrelevent.

phipps · 09/10/2010 17:47

YANBU, your dh is to not do as you ask. A 4 month old does not need to be eating chocolate mousse and doesn't it have raw egg in it?

morethanasong · 09/10/2010 20:31

I'm amazed at how many people think this is ok! Even if you don't believe in/agree with the guidelines that suggest introducing solids at around 6 months, why would you think that chocolate mousse is a good food to start with? Don't most people start with fruits and vegetables?

I don't see the difference at all between 'having a taste' and eating something. If the baby is swallowing and digesting the food then I think she's eating it.

I'd be unimpressed if anyone introduced solids to my baby - if the dh felt strongly that it was time to start solids before I did, I'd expect him to talk to me about it, not just go ahead and do it.

musicmadness · 09/10/2010 22:36

I'd say YABU to be honest. There is a difference between having a taste and eating something. I'd class having a taste as having a tiny bit of something on the tongue but not a proper mouthful. I don't see giving a tiny bit of mousse as something to get hung up over, if he was feeding her the whole pot I would see the problem!
I don't get why so many people on this thread think it should be the mothers call only? The child has 2 parents and both points of view should be treated equally IMO.

Gibbon · 09/10/2010 22:38

Oh morethanasong, how can you deny any baby the deliciousness of a quality chocolate mousse?

Quattrocento · 09/10/2010 22:40

Two parents both have an equal say. Don't think the mother gets to lay down the law unless it involves anything obviously harmful. This obviously isn't harmful, so YABU

Gibbon · 09/10/2010 22:42

You would give baby a lick wouldn't you Quattro...just a smidgen.

Quattrocento · 09/10/2010 22:43

Aye, I would

Gibbon · 09/10/2010 22:45

Knew it.

Consensus in. Case closed. Smidgen is acceptable.

Gibbon · 09/10/2010 22:48

I BL weaned and everything, yet we will still get shot down

MouseyHousey · 10/10/2010 00:13

I totally agree with Stealth. I cannot believe so many people think this is ok. Fair enough with the comments about your DD and DH bonding and it only being a lick but its chocolate mousse! Can't he bond with her with baby rice if he's so desperate to see her eat?!
I am by no means an expert but have been told by my HV that cows milk should not be given to babies under 6 months (preferably a year) because their gut and stomach lining is still so delicate. Babies that young need NOTHING other than milk, either BM or formula.
I don't think I am precious.. my DD2 is just over 4 months and though she seems to be interested in watching us eat I wouldn't dream of giving her chocolate mousse.
I honestly think this is absolutely ridiculous.

TrinityRhino · 10/10/2010 00:25

I wouldn't have married someone who would do this for fun

it's not necessary and I see no reason why anyone would want to do it

and yes it's both parents choice but surely when you marry you know how the partner is going to feel/act about these things.

keepingupwiththejoneses · 10/10/2010 01:09

To be honest all 3 of my ds's where fully weaned by 5 months with no ill effects. When ds1 (17) was a baby it was recommended at 3 months to start, with ds2(11) it was 3-4 months, I was quite shocked to find when ds3 was born it had changed to 6 months, personally I thought that was far too late as he was a big hungry baby. I was quite open with my HV about it as well and she was fine, she said she had to give me the official take on it but said that if he was ready he was ready.
It sounds to me like your DD may be ready to start with little tastes, saying that chocolate mouse is not the best, try some carrot or pear.

TrinityRhino · 10/10/2010 01:28

just cause she licks it and likes it doesn't mean she is ready

there is no need

my dd1 was 6 months before the official guidelines were 6 months

just made sense, whey would you pour food into s little thing that doesn't need it

Mumcentreplus · 10/10/2010 01:43

'but have been told by my HV that cows milk should not be given to babies under 6 months'...erm isn't most formula made predominately from cows milk??? .com..

Oh and yeah the first question you ask your future husband is 'Will you try to give our baby a lick of your chocolate mousse spoon before typical weaning age?'..'Yes?'...ok your sacked..

Mumcentreplus · 10/10/2010 01:44

its a lick not a pour relax love...

theskiinggardener · 10/10/2010 02:52

Feels like it's not so much about the mousse but about you and DH communicating. You are going to have different ideas about what's ok in lots of things to do with baby and need to talk about them.

For me this would be ok once, but not repeatedly if I had said I was not happy with it. And for what it's worth the WHO advice is that babies are ready on average at 6 months, but some are ready by 4 months and considering everything they put in their mouths anyway little tiny bits of all sorts are probably reaching the gut. Mine lost a lot of his hair and I was always finding hair everywhere, he's bond to have ingested some of it!

ClimberChick · 10/10/2010 04:31

I think 4 months is too young to start 'tasting' things, if you've (as a pair) decided to wean proper at 6 months, but that's not the point.

It's the laughing at you while he does it which suggests it's less to do with bonding (which can be done via a plehtora of different things) and more doing it to piss you off

so YANBU

5DollarShake · 10/10/2010 05:38

I'm in the wait until 6 months camp and would be pissed off at this, although can also see that it's not that big a deal in the general scheme of things.

The thing that would most annoy me though, is at it's chocolate mousse. Way to make life difficult when it does come time to wean, and baby isn't keen on savoury and vegetable flavours because she knows there's 'better' stuff out there.

I didn't give DS any chocolate until well after he tuned 1 - not because I'm uptight about the empty calories per se (although I am a little bit ) - but because I didn't want to make life difficult for myself, with a baby more interested in sweet, easily approachable flavours, instead of more nutritious, but not as nice savoury flavours.

They don't need chocolate, they certainly don't ask for it at that age, and most importantly, they don't miss what they've never had. There's plenty of time in the years ahead to indulge them with treats - why not give the best start possible, and why not make it easier on yourself by not creating an awareness of the sorts of foods the baby will inevitably prefer over more nutritious choices.

It just seems like a way to make weaning even more of a battle, IMO.

5DollarShake · 10/10/2010 08:12

To add - I don't mean to imply that weaning is inevitably a battle - it wasn't with DS and I hope it won't be when I wean DD in a few months' time. But it can be, and this makes it much more likely to be so, IMO. :)

Ineedsomesleep · 10/10/2010 08:27

I don't think you are being unreasonable. Heard a programme on R4 once with an Paediatrician who specialised in diet and weight. He said that the reason we are advised to wean using fruit and veg is because the foods we are weaned on are the ones we get a taste for in later life. Therefore, if you agree with him your daughter will get to like sugar and fat alot.

Its fine to give them tastes of your food at this age, but just stop giving your DH chocolate mousse until he can eat his pudding properly

kitbit · 10/10/2010 08:33

It depends why he's giving it to her. If it's genuinely to help her try new tastes and to enjoy the bond with her that's OK. If it's to piss you off because he knows you've asked him not to, that's not OK.

You need to have a proper discussion together about how you're going to approach weaning, agree it, then do it, so that both have the same expectation.

Igglybuff · 10/10/2010 09:10

Would you mind if he gave tastes of other food? Or is it just the choc which annoys you?

massivemammaries · 10/10/2010 09:16

YABVU - is that all you have to complain about?

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