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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

5yr olds peeing in the bushes

114 replies

msbear · 07/10/2010 11:10

Yesterday on the walk home from school my friend's ds stopped for a pee in the bushes. A mother and her dd came by and really had a go at both mum and her ds. She basically said he should not be exposing himself to her dd. I was shocked and thought she was seriously overreacting, AIBU?

OP posts:
DooinMeSizers · 07/10/2010 13:06

Or children who insist they don't need a wee and then in the middle of nowhere less than half an hour later they are desperate and bouncing about with discomfort while shouting "My wee is coming NOOOWW"

laweaselmys · 07/10/2010 13:07

They have just closed the toilets at our park because apparently in the 3mil revamp of the council buildings there, there is not enough money to maintain some public loos.

I think there will be a lot of weeing in the bushes from now on!

thesecondcoming · 07/10/2010 14:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

junkcollector · 07/10/2010 14:20

Nowt wrong with weeing in a bush at that age!!! What a silly woman.

I saw a mother hold her (about 3) DD over our local sandpit for a wee until the bloke she was with told her to take him somewhere else. She seemed really surprised that he would even suggest it. I'm not against children doing public wees but I do think doing it purposefully in a sandpit is a bit off.

colditz · 07/10/2010 14:59

Well, let's not use nappies then, or they'll still be using them at 9 or 10!

I didn't say my child refuses to use the toilet, I said he has poor bladder control.

This is because he is four years old.

If he is still doing it by the time he is 7 or 8, I will take him to the doctors. If he needs to go, he needs to go, and I will not subject him to the humiliation of wetting himself in public because some twat's scared of a penis roughly the size of a beetle.

thesecondcoming · 07/10/2010 15:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

colditz · 07/10/2010 15:05

But you cannot actually FORCE a child to urinate. Before ds2 was potty trained, I'd have agreed with you whole heartedly, but you cannot physically extract urine from a child's bladder.

diddl · 07/10/2010 15:06

I agree that the woman overreacted but I think at 5 they should be having a wee before they leave school if they can´t make it home without peeing in bushes.

colditz · 07/10/2010 15:16

YY and babies should sleep through the night at 6 months old - and most DO, much to the chagrin of many posters here - but some don't and all the shoulds in the world won't speed their development.

TheShriekingHarpy · 07/10/2010 15:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Anenome · 07/10/2010 16:39

I don't think a 5 year old needs to pee in bushes unless you're half an hour from a toilet...it seems to me that boys are often allowed to do this much older than girls are...I know it's easier for them to do it....but it doesn't mean it's ok.

amberleaf · 07/10/2010 16:52

"i am referring to the ones who refuse to wee before leaving school and then within ten minutes are desperate to piss and can't wait to get home- so do so all over the park or whatever"

Sometimes children dont get the chance to go to the toilet before leaving school though! lots of schools wont let them back in to go to the toilet either-is not always that straight forward.

hmc · 07/10/2010 16:56

YANBU

I would have given her some serious verbals if she had tackled me over my ds doing that.

Ds still occasionally resorts to this (age 6). I dislike it - not due to any prudish concern, but basically it isn't terribly pleasant to urinate in the street. If everyone did it would be rank.

So consequently I lecture him and berate him for it, and it is now become an increasingly infrequent occurrence. But for heavens sake - no need for mad cow to make a fuss over a small boy

FlyingInTheCLouds · 07/10/2010 18:27

what a stupid bitch. nothingvwrong vwith boysweeing in bushes as long as it isnt in a play area.

Caboodle · 07/10/2010 18:39

This thread has made me a little cross and a little sad. DS (5) has very poor bladder control, and still wears nappies at night. He has a wee at school before we set off home. He often needs another on the 10 min walk home, and if I make him wait he will have an accident. This is v upsetting for him. I would rather he made it home to the loo but he can't. Of course we find a bush / tree (not the sandpit - ugh). However, I refuse to embarass him even further by drawing attention to the fact that he hasn't developed as 'quickly' as other children his age. Most grown men have bladder control - a lot of little boys (and girls) don't.

Anenome · 07/10/2010 18:44

If your children have bladder problem which are very common...then why not buy a collapsable porta potty....they are tiny and I have one for DD who is 2 and it fits in my bag. They are very basic and you change the waterproof bag inside them each time....little boys could use them without the embarrasment of squatting as a little girl would have to....it's far more decent for the kid than peeing in a bush.

Caboodle · 07/10/2010 18:49

Yep, had one, lasted about 5 mins before it broke. DS did like it when he was younger, bit embarassing for him now. Anyway - they are not designed for 5 yr olds! Have to say I object to the idea of a 5 yr old not being 'decent'. He could run to school naked if he wanted and I'd still consider him to be decent. Oh, AND he used to play with his willy constantly, loads of people used to comment - didn't bother me or DH at all.

Anenome · 07/10/2010 19:06

When I say "decent" I mean that peeing in bushes isn't decent. And imo peeing in a porta-potty is no more embarrasing than peeing in a bush.

Playing with willies is a common phase too in under 5s.

thesecondcoming · 07/10/2010 19:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DetectivePotato · 07/10/2010 19:09

I'm sorry but making a 5 year old use a portable potty isn't going to help their self esteem when they already feel embarrassed about possible having an accident.

OP, YANBU. This woman was ridiculous!

Anenome · 07/10/2010 19:11

I 2nd that the secondcoming.

hmc · 07/10/2010 19:15

No, the only disgusting thing is the attitude of the anally retentive woman

hmc · 07/10/2010 19:20

Reflects on whether mums of girls should be told to " piss off" (fnar fnar)....marginally decides against it....

FlyingInTheCLouds · 07/10/2010 19:21

agree hmc

boys ime can stll stryggle to hold on at that age.

Anenome · 07/10/2010 19:25

Is there medical proof of that FlyingInTheClouds? Not trying to stir up hornets nest...but genuinely curious?

"Reflects on question of whether Mums of boys let them get away with far too much."