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Original poster

My mother is a homophobic tithead

144 replies

cupcakesandbunting · 06/10/2010 21:21

Maybe.

We took DS to the library yesterday and I said that I was asking for books for christmas rather than toys, if people asked what DS would like. I mentioned that my best mate was buying him King and King which I think is a lovely book and she did this manic wide-eyed face and started shaking her head like I'd said I was going to start reading him the full works of the Marquis de Sade before bed Hmm

When I asked her what was wrong with it, she couldn't articulate why she thought it was wrong that he might get this book other than "that's just my opinion." and "he'll see that in life anyway, he doesn't need to read about it" So taking that to it's logical conclusion, I'd better stop buying him any book that depicts real life because he sees enough of that. Or is it just gay real life that he should be shielded from? MASSIVE Hmm

OP posts:
booyhoo · 07/10/2010 23:02

yes, a very good friend when we were about 16 and he had just come out. he did it to everyone. he wasn't happy that he was out and supported by friends and family he had to literally drop it into every converstation, he would shout it at strangers in the street as in "yes that's right, I'M GAY!!!" but i think that was a response from keeping it to himself for so long (although we knew for a good while that he was gay before he came out) he is still very camp now but seems to have settled into himself and is getting on with life rather than life being about being gay. IYSWIM. unfortunatley the way he dealt with coming out (shoving it down people's throats) led to him being raped by a (straight Hmm)man who thought he needed to be taught a lesson Sad.

Original poster
cupcakesandbunting · 07/10/2010 23:05

You are welcome, Outrageous [:)]

Shoving it down your throat = holding hands/kissing in public/general PDAs. I mean, keep it behind closed doors you freaks, we don't want our children to catch gay Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
cupcakesandbunting · 07/10/2010 23:06

Oh. My. God. Booyhoo that is really fucking horrible. [:(]

OP posts:
Original poster
cupcakesandbunting · 07/10/2010 23:07

I'm pissed I can't do smilies sorry!

OP posts:
booyhoo · 07/10/2010 23:08

it was awful we all cried when he told us, as much as we tried, he wouldn't go to the police either so the bastard got away with it. my friend has actually left our hometown because of it and yet i still see that piece of filth driving about with young girls in his car. it makes me sick everytime.

Original poster
cupcakesandbunting · 07/10/2010 23:13

The rapist is gay himself or else I doubt he could do what he did, the vile little cunt. Probably gay and struggling so took it out on your poor friend in the worst way possible. I hope your friend is alright now,

OP posts:
stripeywoollenhat · 07/10/2010 23:13

booyhoo, i'm sure it's just a phrasing thing, but your post reads as though you think that the boy was partially responsible for the crime that was committed against him because he was upfront about his sexuality. in the same way that a girl in a short skirt is not asking for anything, neither is a boy talking about his sexual identity.

stripeywoollenhat · 07/10/2010 23:16

x-posts - i'm sure that's not what you mean, it just read to me like that. i am so sorry for your friend.

booyhoo · 07/10/2010 23:19

oh absoloutely not, he was in no way responsible for it. i really didn't mean to imply that. maybe i should have clarified that that was the reason the rapist gave for raping him. he told him, while he was raping him, that he needed taught a lesson and maybe this will put a stop to him shoving his "queer fucking arse" in everyone's face.he told him "this is what happen's when you ask for it, you fuckin get it" Sad

booyhoo · 07/10/2010 23:20

god this is bringing it all back.

seenyertoeslately · 08/10/2010 00:51

What a scaring and brutal episode. Your poor friend. I hope to god my son doesn't come across anyone like this. I know that some people hold the attitude that gays are a suitable target for violence but I worry about how prevalent it is. Certainly the view held by some posters that gay people are not 'normal' can only encourage this attitude.

Aitch · 08/10/2010 01:18

personally i'm not sure i would buy king and king as it seems to labour a point which is genuinely normal for my dd, however i did notice that Tabby McTat, the busker's cat, by julia donaldson and axel scheffler, features a lesbian couple as the main cat owners, whicch i thought was cute.

Aitch · 08/10/2010 01:18

oh booyoo Sad

AbsofCroissant · 08/10/2010 09:12

Oh booyhoo, that's awful.

A friend of mine (who is gay) told me once that he had been sexually assaulted, but had a very hard time about it when he reported it (he wasn't taken seriously), because of the perception that gay men are promiscuous. It's hideous.

TiggyD · 08/10/2010 12:30

People can be a tiny bit of a pain in the bum when they come out. They've been keeping a secret for years, sometimes for decades, then they come out and it can be like a dam bursting and they want to make up for lost time and talk endlessly about it. It does wear off!

thereisalightanditnevergoesout · 08/10/2010 12:42

'I don't particularly think 4 or 5 is an appropriate age for this. Children don't really need to go beyond 'mummy and daddy' at that point.'

DD1 has a little girl in her class with 2 mummies and one of DD2's friends lives with his mum and her same sex partner.

So, from all the people they know, I day say the percentage is higher that 1% for them. I don't think there's a problem with children knowing at whatever age. Hopefully our children's children's generation will not be so bigotted.

Another book, not sure if you know about - perhaps more of a gentle message, and possibly with other themes too, I suppose is this one. Written by a friend of mine.

5DollarShake · 08/10/2010 12:48

Why is 4 or 5 not an appropriate age to learn that people love each other?

Why (oh why!) do people get so hung up on the sexual aspects of gay relationships?

If it's fine to know that mummŷ and daddy love each other, then it's equally fine to know that two men can love each other, and that two women can?

Why does it have to be any more complicated or perverse than that?

I didn't know about this book, but am definitely adding it to my 'to buy' list. I'm another one with a gay DB, and am so saddened by some of the posts on this thread - thankfully the minority, though.

Aitch · 08/10/2010 13:23

tbh i think children learn that people love each other when they see it demonstrated. i don't think that, in light of the fact that our kids have been to as many gay weddings as straight, mine have any big questions around being gay (other than 'can i be your flowergirl, please).

they know their parents have friends, some of whom are ladies who live with men, others men with men, ladies with ladies etc etc etc, some of whom have kids, some who don't. i don't think they need a book, personally.

Besom · 08/10/2010 13:24

I know a quite a lot of gay people as friends as as work colleagues. Because the ones I know are all mainly in their 30's or 40's they are generally married, in long term relationships, serially monogamous or single but looking for a serious relationship (some have dogs, cats or children). Just like most of the straight people in my social and work circles.

Some of them maybe did some clubbing/shagging around when younger but then so did I.

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