My mother is a homophobic tithead

[cupcakesandbunting]

Maybe.

We took DS to the library yesterday and I said that I was asking for books for christmas rather than toys, if people asked what DS would like. I mentioned that my best mate was buying him King and King which I think is a lovely book and she did this manic wide-eyed face and started shaking her head like I'd said I was going to start reading him the full works of the Marquis de Sade before bed

When I asked her what was wrong with it, she couldn't articulate why she thought it was wrong that he might get this book other than "that's just my opinion." and "he'll see that in life anyway, he doesn't need to read about it" So taking that to it's logical conclusion, I'd better stop buying him any book that depicts real life because he sees enough of that. Or is it just gay real life that he should be shielded from? MASSIVE

slately, of course heterosexuals go clubbing. i did, when i was younger.
and loads of people were having sex in not long term realtionships, either, then. god forbid.
And yes I'm sure lots of gay people don't go clubbing. lots of heterosexuals don't either.

But I still maintain thta the gay community has a reputation for non commitment, changing partners, and my I think that is still valid.
My gay friend at uni, quite a few years ago,in her late 20's often said that this was a valid perception.

I only saying that this is a perception. And quite a few gay people confirm it to be true.

Actually, do you know what this thread leaves me with? Massive hope. How wonderful that our DCs have literature available to them, which explains how varied love can be, how wonderful that our generation- on the whole- is not just tolerant (as that suggests putting up with something) but open to the idea that heterosexual love isn't the only option. Sure there are bigots, amongst our parents generation, and amongst our own...but slowly they become the minority (already are in our own generation I feel) and eventually will cease to exist or have a voice that is heard.

Yes there is someone on here quibbling about the semantics of "normality", If you want to make it simpler, homosexuality is not the most COMMON of familial or relational setups, that does not make it acceptable, it just makes it different. Just as cat is different from dog, and pink from blue...different does not make anything wrong.

of course i mean that does to make it unacceptable - sorry

another one i have heard is "it's not natural"

how do you deal with that one leningrad? i have always responded with something along the lines of "neither is wearing clothes or flying across the ocean in a jet but you seem pretty comfortable with that." sadly, the kind of people i hear saying it are the sort that just don't have sense to look past teh end of their noses and prefer to live a bitter and hatred filled life.

But Lenin, going by my mother's theory - did you suddenly become lesbian in approx. 1985?

What a nice post coraltoes. You are right - on the whole it's a warm n fuzzy thread. :)

@ promiscuity in ther gay community. That's easy to answer.
Firstly, that endless cycle of promiscuity is not my experience of "the gay community" (as if there was just one ffs), but there is a percentage of gay men who are the clubbing partying shagging types. There are your stereotypical promiscuous gay men that you are all talking about.
All the other gay men are in long term relationships, quietly living a life NOT on the Scene.
So what you are judging it on is the minority who are visibly out getting it on. Not the majority who are non-scene.
It's a bit like saying those straight people you see on the Ibiza programmes, getting pissed and getting their tits and arses out are typial of straight young people. No they aren't.

So Mom was right.

I was gay from birth. So well before 1985!

It's not normal to be GBLT in the same way it's not normal to climb Mount Everest, win a Nobel Prize, invent something, sleep with Shaking Stevens, build your own house or drive a steam train. It's better than being normal!

we all seek love,affirmation,support from partner all normal.and if said partner is gay- so what?we all seek love and affirmation,isnt a hetro thing.is a people thing

Tiggy, what does GBTL mean?

Gay bum loving tinkerbell. Any other guesses?

Obviously gay, bi, lesbian tranny. Durrrrrr....

GBLT stands for Gay, Bacon, Lettuce and Tomato.

Minorities were exaggerated in my family - all mum's friends were gay couples (blokes) and my two best friends are happily loved up lesbians - in different couples. Our kids have been to 3 gay weddings. It is normal to celebrate love. Their honorary grandads are a gay couple in their 80s who have been together for 50 years. Best partnership I've ever seen and great role models of a loving team. The DCs might turn out to be gay too and at least they'll know they have parents who will be totally accepting.

Absof - i had a huge crush on the original bionic woman - about 1977, i guess - but didn't really look into why until - oh, 1992. is the median there more or less 1985? (ability to do sums still not recovered from childbirth) perhaps your mum is right...

and young people are quite promiscuous, surely, when they aren't being socially policed? and then you grow up and settle down yadda yadda yadda. i imagine that gay promiscuity will decrease in step with liberalising attitudes, as social support and social pressure keep more gay relationships together. (i have days, i confess, when being exiled from the bosom of my family would be the very thing. alas, they are firmly attached to my missus, and won't even countenance the odd exile for christmas... not that i would give dp the boot, but it would be nice to be a bit illicit, occasionally, if you know what i mean)

i've always figured that the figure for homosexuals is probably around 3%, taking the under-reporting and over-reporting of interest groups into account. i accept that it's a guess, but i think that's about my rl experience as well, when i think about work and random social occasions (as opposed to the pre-arranged, homo-sited ones)

So.... is it not normal to sleep with Shaking Stevens?

Cupcakes, I just wanted to say thank you for telling me about "King and King". It looks absolutely lovely, and it will be going on my next Amazon order.

Maggs, you might want to spend some time reflecting the difference between "usual" and "normal".

Just a question

Has anyone ever had someone try and 'shove it down their throat'? Their gayness that is.

I only ask because there seems to be an inordinate amount of worry related to throat cshoving and gayness...

It's always an accusation that comes from ignorant homophobes, but I don't ACTUALLY know what it means. Not have I ever heard of this happening to anyone in reality.

I've also heard "flaunting your sexuality" but to be honest, I don't think I could flaunt my sexuality if I spent the rest of my life trying my hardest.