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Original poster

My mother is a homophobic tithead

144 replies

cupcakesandbunting · 06/10/2010 21:21

Maybe.

We took DS to the library yesterday and I said that I was asking for books for christmas rather than toys, if people asked what DS would like. I mentioned that my best mate was buying him King and King which I think is a lovely book and she did this manic wide-eyed face and started shaking her head like I'd said I was going to start reading him the full works of the Marquis de Sade before bed Hmm

When I asked her what was wrong with it, she couldn't articulate why she thought it was wrong that he might get this book other than "that's just my opinion." and "he'll see that in life anyway, he doesn't need to read about it" So taking that to it's logical conclusion, I'd better stop buying him any book that depicts real life because he sees enough of that. Or is it just gay real life that he should be shielded from? MASSIVE Hmm

OP posts:
MoralDefective · 07/10/2010 00:18

OK.....Gay People aren't normal........you make me want to cry...really cry.....MaggieWasNeverAce.....Maggie was always an awful, provincial, homophobe.She was vile then and she is vile now.

MaggieWasAce · 07/10/2010 00:24

MoralDefective - do you know what 'normal' means?

Hedgeblunder · 07/10/2010 00:25

Gay people are not as common is the phrase I really fucking hope you were looking for

LeninGrad · 07/10/2010 00:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MoralDefective · 07/10/2010 00:39

My dictionary says of a person ,that they (normal people)are free from mental or physical disorders......MaggieUsedToBeAce....you are mean and NASTY.

Kirk1 · 07/10/2010 00:44

MAggie, that says "openly" gay. Mostly they don't because of rotten attitudes. The proportion is probably much higher than you think.

maktaitai · 07/10/2010 00:48

In my neighbour's household 100% of the residents are gay. It's normal in that house. In our own minds and lives, what we are should be normal, and it's bloody hard to see how that can be if we have never seen any other indication that other people are the same.

King and King, if I have understood it correctly, doesn't actually present homosexuality as particularly normal, in fact.

MoralDefective · 07/10/2010 00:50

Just read through the thread and it seems that Maggs keeps asking if we know what 'normal' means.........what a cow >

JoanneOfArk · 07/10/2010 00:51

well that's not a very nice thing to say about your mother really, is it.

I don't particularly think 4 or 5 is an appropriate age for this. Children don't really need to go beyond 'mummy and daddy' at that point.

Kirk1 · 07/10/2010 00:56

Why not? At age 4 or 5 they may have a classmate who has two mummies or two daddies. They need to know that this isn't something wrong.

animula · 07/10/2010 00:57

Children don't need to go beyond "mummy" and "daddy" at this point if you live in some strange little bubble where you never, ever meet anyone who is not heterosexual.

But I think you might be wanting a trip back in time, or some other part of the globe for that.

Hedgeblunder · 07/10/2010 01:02

Joanne-how is it innappropriate?
I think it's utterly stupid to think children don't notice these things, my nieces were very quick to ask why their babysitter had a boy for a girlfriend at that age and my sister was mortified she hadn't explained earlier

MoralDefective · 07/10/2010 01:10

Gay people AREnormal....they are our children,our brothers,our sisters and sometimes our parents,we should be accepting of peoples differences and not condemning...life is hard enough without having to take a 'beating' for being different

Hedgeblunder · 07/10/2010 01:20

Well said moraldefective

kittya · 07/10/2010 01:32

I hate that my mum says puffs. Why oh why? and shes not homophobic. Ive given up correcting her. My nieces live down a very gay street and dont think anything of it, we answer questions as they come up. Although they often ask me if Im gay because Im single!!

musicmadness · 07/10/2010 01:59

Can I just say that link refers to people who are openly gay or lesbian. I'm bisexual. I wouldn't dare tell the majority of my family as they would never speak to me again (and there is previous for this). I find their opinions on homosexuality vile but the fact remains I am still not ready to lose my family. When I get a long term partner - male or female - then I will not hide them. I know of quite a few others who are in this position and I am certain the actual figures are far higher.

Most kids are going to come across homosexuality at some point and by 4 or 5 a lot already will have so I have no problem with stories about it. The only thing I would say about King and King is that I would prefer it if the relationship wasn't the main focus of the story, if he just happened to be gay IYSWIM. I'm not sure if I explained that right!

Original poster
cupcakesandbunting · 07/10/2010 08:15

Children don't need to go beyond mummy or daddy? Gays aren't normal?

Oh! Someone call me an ambulance this is too funny!

OP posts:
TheShriekingHarpy · 07/10/2010 08:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oblomov · 07/10/2010 09:13

I have read threads before about being gay, and it being not 'normal'. and the stastics were that is was not 'normal' becsue it was thought to be , was it 10% of the population. But as we have said there is a difference between being openly gay. and if it is 10%, where are those statistics coming from ? are people filling in forms about their sexuality ? caoz I can't say I've ever been asked.
and what % would it need to be , to be classified as normal ?
if it was 30% of the population (and I don't think it is, even in reality, that high, but if it was ), is that NORMAL ?

what % = NORMAL, please ?

Gay40 · 07/10/2010 09:26

I just think you are better off preparing yourself by having a sensible answer to questions like "Why does Uncle X kiss Uncle Y?" rather than get mortified and come out with some outdated and damaging claptrap.
Because kids do ask.
As for numbers, I don't think it really matters. In our fairly typical office of about 100, we have about 5 out gay people, about 5 gay but closeted people (why, no idea) and a bunch of bisexuals who have only disclosed this to me.
Percentages seem a bit irrelevant.

booyhoo · 07/10/2010 09:33

exactly oblomov

what % would qualify as normal? should there be a 50/50 split of hetero and homosexual people before it is normal? what about bisexual people then, should we have a 3 way split before we are all normal? but then there are people who are asexual and those who aren't sure at all? so really we are talking about 20% before homosexuality is normal. oh look we are getting closer and closer to the actual figure as we go. (not that i believe 1% is a true representation)

AliceInHerPartyDress · 07/10/2010 09:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MarineIguana · 07/10/2010 09:36

That book looks lovely, and it is important to have models like that so that when a child is starting to realise that they are gay, it makes sense to them. We have the male-female model paraded in front of us all the time, which isn't surprising as it is more common, but to be reaslistic, 5-10% of pairings in books, films, ads, etc would be gay and in fact they're under-represented.

I'm happy for my DC that my sister is gay, DS went to their wedding, knows them as a couple and it has been from birth that he's been familiar with that, so we don't even have to make an effort to make him aware of it IYSWIM. But otherwise, I would make sure to have books like that around (and might get it anyway as it looks nice).

HowsTheSerenity · 07/10/2010 09:39

I think as you treat a gay couple as you would any other straight couple then the child in question grows up treating them like any other person.

I grew up surrounded by gay men and transvestites and drag queens (my grandmother knew the original Les Girls etc).

I never knew they were 'gay' until I was older. They were just men who had boyfriends and let me wear their heels and feather bowers Grin

Oblomov · 07/10/2010 09:48

Depends where you live and work. Intrigued by Gay40's "fairly typical" office. I have no gay friends, although I did in uni.
Ds's school year has 100% marriage. both a mum and a dad for every child. no gay parents that we are aware of.
At work, 250 people. 90% of people are married. 1 gay person.
No idea what people do privately. Could all be a big charade.
Not that anyone I know would give two hoots if someone was gay/bi-sexual or anything else.
I'm just saying that they don't 'appear' to be.
Wonder whether where i live is abnormal to the rest of the county ? Hmm

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