to find it vaguely insulting when men describe women as being fit/hot/sexy etc "even though she has got a kid/s"

[superv1xen]

....or even women that say, omg, cant believe your a mum, you look so great.

just annoys me.

as though automatically being a mother usually precludes you from being sexy or desirable.

yeah, that "MILF" crap

so fucking patronising...

oh god yeah dont even get me started on MILF

Well yes, of course, everyone knows that when you have kids your tits move south, your fanjo turns into the grand canyon and your stomach resembles an AA road atlas, so it is quite surprising that a woman with kids can look half decent.

[dripping with sarcasm emoticon]

Maybe it could be an ill-thought out compliment? Ie - ?You look amazing, even though your body has been through so much, and you have spent so much time busily looking after your children and not sleeping - despite all of these amazing things you do, you still manage to look incredible. I am in awe of you?

Ha. Anyone who would call a women fit or hot, probably hasn?t thought it through to that extent, have they? They?re just being tits

yeah i would be more likely to think that inwiththeitcrowd if it came from a woman.

and whats wrong with fit, hot and sexy? i describe men as that quite often!

I agree. And also people who say fit/hot/sexy "for her age"

I have to be honest, I don't mind it at all (might be the just turned 40 thing!)

Why do people take these sort of things so seriously? It's not a slight against motherhood, womanhood, sisterhood... it's just a compliment.

sleight?

Oh god! some off it

Ha ha ha ha i mean come off it!

I've said this before but a compliment is a compliment and I'll take them where I can.

Anyone ever said "he's really good looking for an older guy?".

Yeah, YANBU. It is damning with faint praise, I think.

I would be over the moon tbh!

and Hecatehas decribed me perfectly - with out the sarcasm!

Al, you must be very starved oc compliments !

although I doubt that, actually

YABU to find it vaguley annoying. it would be less unreasonable if you were down right outraged.

why should someone who has had a child be somehow less sexually attractive

YABU it's meant as a compliment. I have no problem with it at all because I take it in the vein that it's meant and as Al said, a compliment is a compliment.
I don't think it's implying you're less sexually attractive when you've had a child, it's just extra kudos for looking great on the outside when you've got sand in your bra and odd socks on and your toddler has just laid on the floor screaming for 10 minutes in the breakfast cereal aisle in Sainsburys.
I for one appreciate the encouragement!!

Plenty of women use the excuse of having children for their self-confessed crappy appearances though, e.g. being overweight, wearing tracksuit bottoms etc, etc!

I've even heard having a baby as an excuse for uncleanliness. Yuck.

tbh, of my friends, the better looking, sexy hotter, whatever you want to call it dont have kids. so the ones that do have kids and still look alright would fit that compliment.

i spose id get a more ' its not suprising you've got kids' comment though

I attempt to keep fit. That tends to me make me very hot. And sweaty. But not, I would hazard a guess, very sexy

ahhh..I could think of worst things to get your knickers ina bunch about...but I suppose it could be seen as derrogatory..sometimes people say to me 'oh you dont look like a mum!' ..I take it as a back-handed complement?? but it does kind of piss me off ...does it mean I don't look responsible or something???..but at the end of the day who gives a shit?

It's the old madonna/whore thing. Cant be both. Allegedly. Actually don't care for either stereotype - I think I prefer female geek, or blue-stocking as it happens.

labels sch-mabels...mine change daily today I going to be ...

It means that you have had a kid but still manage to look exactly the same as before. Its the ultimate compliment in my eyes.

emmaroyd yes - "for her age" pisses me off too!