to take out my dc who has the pox?

[sleeplessinseatle]

Obviously not to playgroups etc, but I've got a baby at home and don't think I can cope otherwise. Is there anywhere we can safely go where there won't be lots of kids/pregnant women?

Thank you flyingintheclouds

She was a very special little girl, and is very, very missed.

I know people are reading my blog from this thread. That is very kind and very welcome. The hit rate has shot up to about 600 views. It is always good to know people have taken the trouble to read it, and take some time to ponder how it feels to lose a child. I know it is a painful topic, and one that is easy to avoid. Please feel free to comment (anonymous commments are accepted). i always welcome views.

Hello?

Someone mentioned the death of their daughter. A little girl who is no longer in this world.

FFS, sympathise. You all managed to do it for Loudlass's loss (and rightly so, I am so very sorry Loudlass).

It is unutterably wrong to ignore a post regarding the recent death of a young girl because of complications from this disease.

I don't really care who the risk post was addressed to and, fuck me, of course it grants Sassy the right to be delirious with anger and see red mist when she shares the loss of her daughter to be met with silence and awkward, shuffling posts that skirt round this profound loss.

The risk of getting listeriosis is infinitesmally small in pregnancy yet every single goat's cheese pack has a warning on it. It is one thing to talk about relative risk, but the consequences are dire and life-long for those who have the misfortune to be affected by them.

Stay bloody indoors, at least until the sores scab over. Be a responsible member of society and a decent human being. And develop some fucking empathy.

have just finished reading the thread and sassysusan's blog.. i am in tears and am so sorry for your loss and loudlass' also.

if i am perfectly honest i don't think i understood the risks cp poses to anyone other than sick, elderly or pg women... i do now :(

sassy please don't think that your comments here were in vain, it is so brave of you to put yourself through even posting on this thread let alone having to argue your point.

your daughter Catherine sounded like such a joy, thank you for telling her story and i wish you all the best x

Ooops, x-post, of course.

And I feel sick just thinking about how I'd feel if any of my children had had chicken pox and died like SS's lovely dd. There are no words... it is unimaginable. :(

So so sorry for your loss SassySusan.

I loathe the "I'm alright Jack" thoughtlessness involved in weighing up the relative risks of taking infectious children out and deciding on balance that is OK. Yes, it probably would be OK but it may not for someone who is immune suppressed, pregnant, or just may develop fatal complications.

Thanks to the last 3 posters - very much appreciated... it does tend to restore some faith in humanity...

Still waits for an apology/change of heart from earlier posters... foot tapping now....

Sassy - cant see it happening my friend...who cares? Who gives a rats arse bum? Bet our children are watching us and ROFL...I know that your precious girl will have found my crazy boys LOL - I didn't know about the dangers of CP until I heard about you and your precious little girl. My DDIL worries about it all the time and I used to wonder why. xxxx

I just like to offer redemption Shabs
I think of it this way... the world is littered with lowlife irredeemable scum, and it is a moral obligation to try and educate them. We must also accept that sometimes htat wont be possible. I would alwasy prefer to succeed. Sometimes you have to accept that is not possible. You turn out the lights and walk gently away.

That is the way of the world.

Well no one said they did slimingworldmum

But some of theme were well out of order, dont you think?

Sassy - I wish I had Mumsnet when Gareth and Matty died - I would have loved to have been able to express my feelings.....xxxx

Slimming - I posted on a thread a few weeks ago all about not making children wear cycling helmets because they are useless. My DS3 was crushed to death by a lorry whilst riding his bike. The doctors and the coroner said he would have lived had he had a cycling helmet on. The thread went along much the same as this one with people saying, even after they had read my post, they wouldn't be making their children wear one..... I was ignored for most of the thread! The death of a child is a very taboo subject.

oh well.. if one of their DCs dies, no doubt they will be back to moan....

Slimming - well done you....believe me, I know that they are lifesavers. Wish a celebrity that kids love would endorse the wearing of them and make it cool. xx

Hi again, just got back to this thread and at how it's gone.

Just to make a point though if anyoe thought I was having a go or whatever and being daft about saying I had to go out the let me explain.

DS was 2 at the time, he had (still has but not noticable) atopic eczema on his face which often used to get infected and would constantly seep and obv it used to get rather painful for him, Anyway one morning I noticed he was covered in a kind of liquid filled rash with spots so I called the doctors and they asked me to come in. When I saw a nurse she said it was chicken pox but it had aggrivated his eczema so it genuinely did not look like Pox. We were then told to go to shops and get Calpol and calamine lotion and as I was skint I also had to grab some supplies that would last a week or so. I alkso don't drive and could'nt afford a taxi home so had to get the bus, my mum was 200 miles away visiting family and my DP was at his Grandad's funeral in the same area (we moved here wehen I was PG).

My neighbours at the time were NOT people who you would want to speak to let alone ask a favour or hand money too! So I had no-one hence why we had to dash round Tesco.

I have to admit though I only went that day and as I said we did'nt know he had Pox util we were out anyway so it made no difference and there really was'nt any other way.

I don't see that as selfish or igorant, I seen that as desperate! We stayed in for a week afterwards (incidently though I am still not convinced it was Pox as it didn't look like it and he didn't scratch at all

Sassy could you tell us who you want to apologise you seem to be repeating the sentence without actually saying who you expect to say sorry?! Not blaming you I did say some of the posts were but it may help if you say who you are talking to/about.

Shabba I was lurking on that thread and I always make my DS (AGED 4) wear a helmet anyway but I showed the thread to a friend who kept telling me my DS looked stupid and she would not be forcing her child to wear one as it would be like drawing the bullies to her ... her DD now has a shiney pink helmet which she loves :o

Mama - I think that the early grief when you have lost a child is overwhelming, its all consuming and so tiring. I remember being angry, more angry and then a little more angry. I hope Sassy that you realise I am not patronising you - I think, and hope you know me better than that. Sometimes you want to shout it from the rooftops and other times you just hide in a corner and sob. There is no death so very sad than that of a child.

Mama all I can say is please spread the word. They do work, they do protect our precious children.

I totally agree Shabba, I am (hate using this word in this context) 'fortunate' enough to have not gone through anything anywhere near as horrific as this but I can understand Sassy's argument.

TBH I just wanted to make sure I had'nt said something taken out of context which is why I felt the need to explain.

If I have Sassy I am sorry I didn't mean to sound like a twunt if I did :o

What an utter arse SGB is, sorry if thats against the rules to say that i would actually like to say more!

Peoples 'shruggy' attitude to CP really annoys and upsets me. One of my children is asthmatic, has had CP twice, nearly died of pneumonia and doesnt seem to have resistance to CP at all.

If we are out and see someone in a shop for example with obvious CP it terrifies me. I end up looking like a raving loon leaving my basket in the aisle and getting out as quick as i can simply because people are so fucking clueless, i suppose the majority are ignorant of the seriousness,but i think some just dont care as it doesnt affect them.

Im thinking of Susan and Loudlass

Thanks for sharing the link to your blog Susan ive bookmarked it.

I hope SGB has the decency to apologize but from what ive read of her posts so far i doubt she will without saying something else acidic in the process-I hope even more that she proves me wrong.

Nobody on this thread has said they don't care and a lot has been said about how serious CP can be. Which is why this country should vaccinate. Can I ask everybody on this thread - if a vaccine were available in the child immunisation program would you take it up? (Assuming your child hasn't had CP)
My answer is yes I would but all three of mine have had it once so I assume it wouldn't be required for them?

So sorry to those who have suffered loss and serious complications as a result of chicken pox.

I get very frustrated when people talk about the level of risk when there is simple action that can be taken to negate or reduce the risk.
It comes up time and time again on parenting threads - people who want to behave in a particular way claim that the risk involved is low enough to justify their actions. Who cares how low the risk is? If it is easy to make the risk even lower or non-existent why on earth would you not do so?
Obviously there are things in life that we do on a daily basis that carry small levels of risk - driving, crossing the road, travelling on a plane. The difference is that these activities are necessary to achieve a particular end - eg getting somewhere. It is the risks that are not necessary that annoy me. Even if you think the risks of not wearing a cycling helmet are small, why not wear one anyway, just in case? If you think the risks of horesriding while pregnant are low, why take the chance? If you think that the chances of your child infecting someone who subsequently becomes very ill are low why take the risk of being the reason someone suffers like some of the posters on this thread?
Obviously children will infect others before their parents realise they have CP. But once you do realise, how is it anything less than selfish and irresponsible to risk spreading it? The people you run into while out and about may not have the same attitude to risk as you and you are taking away their right to choose how to protect their own children. That is deeply, deeply unfair.