to take out my dc who has the pox?

[sleeplessinseatle]

Obviously not to playgroups etc, but I've got a baby at home and don't think I can cope otherwise. Is there anywhere we can safely go where there won't be lots of kids/pregnant women?

SassySusan I haven't read the whole thread - but I read as far as your blog and started to read that instead. What you write is beautiful and I am just so so sorry for all the experiences you have to go through without Catherine. My 2 oldest have had CP - my baby hasn't yet but when he does you can be damn sure he's staying inside with me. Thank you for wising me up.

Albert - people fail - all the time, that's part of our humanity. We are frequently craven, cowardly and stupid. We are also loving and powerful and filled with depth and complexity that is stunning. I work in a hospital and you see people at extremes. Even in the tiny glimpses of their lives that I've seen (I work in admin for heaven's sake!) I have seen such love, such devotion - and such failings. I'm sure we can all look round our families and our wider circle and say the same - I know I can. You don't see the light without the shade to contrast it.

We have seen the 'shade' on this thread alright......

Avril you suggested:
SassySusan - if you want any posts on this thread deleted, report them.

Oh good grief... No.

I just depend on other mnérs being discerning enough to read posts and know when they are reading shit. If posters aren't educated/bright enough to recognise poo, it is probably too late for them anyway.

Still waiting for anyone to apologise... waiting... waiting... waiting.....

Arcadie thank you - that is very kind. You might also consider having your baby vacinatted. Catherine wasn't in a high risk group - and her death was unexpected.

Sass - with the best will in the world, i think we both know you'll be waiting a very long time for an apology.

Certain posters will not apologise because they don't believe they could possibly be in the wrong.

It's staggering really, but sadly not particularly surprising.

NL agreed ... , I really think it is about education. As a teacher, I know that to learn about anything, you need to be open to it, and capable of processing information and retaining it. We lecture kids all day about the importance of behaving thoughtfully & caringly, most of them do listen, do care & wouldn't intentionally hurt a fly. I'm asking myself what happens between the adolescent age I teach and the - presumably - youngish posters on here who are quite happy about making it clear that they don't care about others as long as they are OK. I am horrified by some of the attitudes expressed on here, but at least I realise - 21 years after my own experience - that I was not alone. The posters who have lost children are doing the right thing by highlighting the risks of CP exposure, and are exceptionally self-controlled and brave to take the kicking when they are down from the likes of SolidGoldBrass.

Avril - 'so sue me then' (SGB)- is that not arrogant enough for you? Hope you are never in a situation where your child's life depends on others' integrity - you might not be so naive if so

Having read through this thread i am shocked and saddened by the ignorance and downright arrogance shown.
I am sorry for those who have lost children, and reading your posts have brought me to tears this evening. Thefirstmrsdevere, Your description of your daughters illness is harrowing and i am so so sorry. Having looked through your photos she is a beautiful girl, you must be so proud xx
Sassy, isnt it a shame that you are banging your head against a brickwall! Am so sorry about your daughter Catherine, If you dont mind me asking how did she die from chicken pox?
All my 3 dcs have had chicken pox and my poor dd was so poorly with it, that it really frightened me, as i had no idea how poorly some people can get with it.
To any of u that say u have/had to take ur kids out, BOLLOCKS. Just think about what you are saying! I had a bloody awful 2 weeks stuck in with kids but it wasnt a chore as i am their mum and they needed me end of. I refuse to believe that u have no neighbours etc.
Again sorry to those that have lost precious children, whatever stage of life.xx

It is sad to read the stories here, but I just wanted to correct a misconception that people may have that mistakenly causes them to judge or berate parents whose children have chicken pox. They do NOT need to be isolated until it is all scabbed over, but just until 5 days after the rash according to the Health Protection Agency.

www.hpa.org.uk/web/HPAwebFile/HPAweb_C/1194947358374

Hmmmm I don't agree SGB administered a kicking at all. Quite the opposite tbh - but that's because I am seeing this thread differently.
There's too much direct cause and effect being seen here and what I keep wittering about - or groping towards - is that life doesn't work that way. Health doesn't work that way.

Did anybody on this thread intend harm (in a CP contxt)?
No
Did anybody on this thread cause harm in a CP context?
Unknown.
Did anybody on this thread intend harm (in a non CP illness context)?
No
Did anybody on this thread cuse harm (in a non CP illness context)
Unknown.

Do you see what I mean?

I think my dd caught CP from a child at church who was there spotty but whose doctor mum didn't think it was CP because he had it as a baby. I didn't actually see that child that day so I ddin't know anything about this, nor did dh. Had we known would we have kept dd off nursery for the infectious time? Most likely no we wouldn't have because you don't know if they will get it and if so when - could be any time over a couple of weeks and we have jobs and lives and you hope for the best. As it was we didn't know but hand on heart I wouldn't have acted differntly if I had. That's not because I exist in a bubble and don't care about other people. I do - very much - but there is a limit for everybody in how much your actions are governed by their effect on other human beings. In the developed West we are all eat too much and consume too much and that impacts on our brothers and sisters elsewhere. It's asking the impossible, I think, that you don't affect other people by your choices but in a very small sense that is what is being asked of posters on this thread and it can't be done. Even if you think you have done everything you could you haven't and you won't. I read SGB's posts as acknowledging the impossibility of all our positions relative to one another.

I was just about to say that albert. That in conjunction with this comment from SGB: "either get vaccinated or buy yourself a germ suit. It is not reasonable for the majority to be seriously inconvenienced on the off-chance that they might come into contact with a member of that small group of at-risk people."

I think she made her views very clear.

Absolutely no way would I take a child out with chicken pox unless absolutely necessary. It really isn't that torturous to have a quarantine period indoors.

Ellenjames - I'm not sure if Sassysusam will be back to respond to your question, but my own experience of CP complications arose because the CP spread to the lungs and caused something called CP pneumonitis. We were 'lucky' because she survived after being in intensive care but she was previously healthy and had no risk factors.

ellenjames excellent post, on that note I am bowing out, as you are a newcomer to the thread I'm glad you can see the offensive nature of many of the comments. I'm glad your two weeks' confinement is over, you will never know whether you saved a life (sounds melodramatic but as we have seen, is not). Peace & love ac

Thankyou Sassybeast!
I genuinely did not know how bad chicken pox could be until my kids had it and i researched it. My ds1 and 2 were your typical run of the mill spotty but fine and bored! But dd was so poorly, this was back over xmas time last year.
Albert i just cant believe the "well its not my kids" mentality here!
I am lucky to still have my dcs with me all fit and healthy, and I dont know any bereaved parents in real life either. BUT i am grateful everyday for my kids health, and just wanted to show some compassion, thinking of u all tonight xx

As I said, Catherine was a normal healthy preschooler with no health issues. She died as a result of contracting cp. Anyone who wants to know more can surely google it... I'm not meaning to be rude, but I don't need to relive my dd's death for MN.

I see no one bothered to apolgise dee

What a huge surprise....

Sassy I have read your beautifully written blog in tears.

What a wonderful little girl she was. I am so very sad for you.

I confess I never knew the dangers of CP and viewed it as a mild childhood illness.

I will never let my children leave the house if ill and will pass this on to all those I know.

There is also the risk of rapidly spreading sceptecaemia if the spots get infected.

The little girl across the street from me had several cardiac arrests but thankfully survived.

I dont think her parents will ever really recover.