Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this is a terrible reason to let a child be cold??!

106 replies

lisad123isgoingcrazy · 28/09/2010 20:57

DD2 went to preschool today and they pulled me aside at end and said they had noticed a rash on DD2 arm. I explained its birth mark (mollted one, quite large) but it normally only really shows when cold.
Her reply was "yes well DD2 chose not to wear her coat outside so she might have been cold"! Shock

she chose! shes 3!! make her wear it. She also "chose" not to wear her shoes either so came home with wet socks in her bag.

They had earlier changed her into a short sleeved tshirt as she'd got wet Confused

AIBU? Is this standard practice now??

OP posts:
SloanyPony · 28/09/2010 21:26

"I asked them to take our religious beliefs around not celebrating christmas and their replay was "well if she wants to do it we cant stop her". something about EYFS"

Depends what you mean by celebrate.

Unless you want a "they are making us cancel Chwystmaaassssss" backlash you might want to just explain further?

Original poster
lisad123isgoingcrazy · 28/09/2010 21:29

we dont celebrate christmas at all, so things like making christmas cards, decorating tree etc. I have said Im happy for her to learn about other religions but not to celebrate them, does that make sense. And no would never ask for christmas cancel, and tbh I take my kids out of school the last week, as its not fair on school or the kids.

OP posts:
Original poster
lisad123isgoingcrazy · 28/09/2010 21:30

TBH if they put her coaton her, I really cant see it causing too much fuss, she always puts on coat ok at home. I was freezing today.

OP posts:
MmeLindt · 28/09/2010 21:30

If you belong to a religion that does not celebrate Christmas then theynshould have policies in place to work around that. I assume that is what you mean?

BoysAreLikeDogs · 28/09/2010 21:32

choice is a BIG part of EYFS

ZZZenAgain · 28/09/2010 21:33

see what you mean now. Well I suppose they are right in that if they have set up card making tasks and so on, they can hardly pull your dd away from the others if she wanted to join in and say, no lisadd, your mum said you're not to do the Chrsitmas activities IYSWIM. It would make it awkward for them but if your dc are out of school that week anyway, probably you've found a solution for now.

I suppose you'll have to have a word tomorrow about the coat/shoes thing. Once they know how you feel about it, they may handle it differently, especially if as you say your dd would not kick up a fuss about it.

SugarBullets · 28/09/2010 21:34

I dont really see how they can stop her decorating a tree or making a card unless they were to offer her an alternative like "would you like to colour in this picture of a camel horse etc...

SolidGoldBrass · 28/09/2010 21:38

If you really take such an unhinged attitude towards your DD doing something like colouring in a picture of a Christmas tree you are going to have bigger problems in the future than whether or not she wants to wear her coat. You actaully take your DC out of school the week before Xmas? Do you want them to grow up remembering their childhood as 'OUr mother's bizarre superstitions meant we were permanently singled out at school asthe Weird Kids not allowed to do anything.'?

MumInBeds · 28/09/2010 21:39

For what it's worth, in my setting when we have a child whose parents choose not to celebrate Christmas we provide an alternative, usually something winter but not Christmas related.

As far as coats go, it's a judgement call, lots of variables.

taintedpaint · 28/09/2010 21:42

What SGB said. Biscuit

Original poster
lisad123isgoingcrazy · 28/09/2010 21:43

LOL why would me kids think i have bizarre superstitions and why would they be singled out?? They get to go to Center Parcs for the week, Im sure they dont mind.

DD1 is in school and christmas activities have never been a problem for her, but she doesnt really learn alot in the weeks running up to christmas :(

OP posts:
MmeLindt · 28/09/2010 21:43

Would you expect a Muslim child to sit and colour in a nativity scene, SGB? Or a Jehova's Witness?

Surely most schools and nurseries have a plan in place to deal with this? As Muminbeds suggested, painting a snowman or a robin would work well.

Original poster
lisad123isgoingcrazy · 28/09/2010 21:44
OP posts:
ZZZenAgain · 28/09/2010 21:45

lol that's MN

Original poster
lisad123isgoingcrazy · 28/09/2010 21:45

I was wondering how they would manage a child who was not allowed to eat pork/meat/ ect? Confused

OP posts:
Bingtata · 28/09/2010 21:48

Coat would not bother me actually. DD is 4.3 and chooses if she is cold enough to wear a coat or not. On the other hand if they had made her wear a coat by threatening that she couldn't go out or attempting to manhandle her then I would not be happy with that.

I feel abit different about the shoes, I would hope they would explain to her why shoes are a good idea and encourage her to wear them.

Can I ask why you don't want them to participate in Christmas stuff? Are you atheist or do you have a different religion?

BonniePrinceBilly · 28/09/2010 21:52

Whats that got to do woth anything? Coat, yabu, shoes, yanbu, the rest...meh.

Original poster
lisad123isgoingcrazy · 28/09/2010 21:54

Im a JW

OP posts:
mumbar · 28/09/2010 22:05

Not cold here today either. (south coast)

I'm going to play devils advocate and picturing a 3yo I can see them getting them ready and one point blank refusing to do it and going outside without. Could/ should they stop her. Yes tell her she can't go out but they cannot 'handle' the child.

I would perhaps ask DD why she had no coat and shoes??

I agree with learning by experience and the 1 (and only!) time my DS refused to get dressed I took him out to the shop in pants and long sleeved t shirt in his pushchair, precariously gliding along the icy roads. I took his clothes which he wanted on by the time he'd got to the shop. He's never done it since Grin

Difficult one with regards the JW and christmas BUT under the umbrella of the EYFS they should be doing something about JW for children to experience the diversity of our culture. THAT IS part of the EYFS curriculum so you could use that.

angelberry · 28/09/2010 22:30

Muslim kids at my school often join in with Christmas Cards and such, through their own choice.

My DCs have brought home Eid cards in the past, though we're Christian. Lovely to celebrate our diverse society and support each other's traditions.

cory · 28/09/2010 22:33

Hmm...wondering about the "you can't manhandle them camp. Only because I grew up in Sweden, where bits of you would be quite likely to go black and drop off if you failed to wear appropriate protection. Learning by experience would be fine, except you might not have a big toe by the end of the day.

Yet Swedes are not known for their rough treatment of children, and I don't suppose 3yos are any less stubborn there. So what do they do? There must be a way, especially as Swedish nursery children spend most of their day outside. Perhaps nursery staff all have to have enormously impressive personalities, I don't know. B

bigchris · 28/09/2010 22:36

It's very hard for children to avoid Xmas at school isn't it Sad
I worked with a jw a while ago
on Xmas eve we closed at lunchtime for a Xmas buffet
my boss wouldn't let anyone go home, so she was in her office working while we were all in the staffroom
wierd times Sad

bigchris · 28/09/2010 22:38

I always manhandle my three yr old into her coat Blush
ditto her pjs, wellies, pants etc

SolidGoldBrass · 28/09/2010 22:47

Can you imagine the squawking if someone refused to let their DC colour in a card for Eid or Diwali?
Obvioulsy DC need to learn about religions, WTF is wrong with them learning the nice celebratory bits, like cards and good wishes? It's a different matter if they are expected to pretend to take the nonsensical aspects of it seriously eg say prayers or shun 'unbelievers' of course.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 28/09/2010 22:51

yy SGB

also can you imagine the squawking if nursery staff inserted a child into her coat?