to think it's not ok wear an earring to school if the school doesn't allow earrings?

[Maylee]

Ok, so I don't think I'm being a judgey-pants on this ocassion but would be grateful for any insight from you all (or to be told that I'm being entirely unreasonable and judgey).

DS has just started reception and uniform policy is very clear - grey trousers, white shirts, no earrings or jewellry (applies to boys and girls). But there is this one boy in DS's class who comes to school with black jeans on and an earring in one ear.

Now, to be perfectly frank I do not see any reason why a 4 year old boy needs an earring but each to their own......

My problem is that his parents are blatantly violating the school's policy on uniform. So he is learning that it is ok to disobey the intructions given by the teachers and school. I mean, there is of course a time and a place for rsging against the machine but not at 4 years old surely?

As far as I'm aware there are no cultural, religious or health reasons which require this child to have an earring during school hours.

It's none of my business of course but just wanted to vent a bit here (as I would never say anything to this boy's mum!)and check whether I'm BU or judgey?

you are bu and judgey

nothing wrong with that of course

Ok, I can live with that and confess fully to owning a huge pair of judgey pants.....

BUT I genuinley don't understand WHY the parents don't take the earring out (during school hours). I am quite perplexed

I can just imagine these stupid ignorant parents allowing a child to break these basic rules.

They are actually alienating the child from all the other children who will have respect - along with their parents - for the rules.

I think it's quite unusual for a school to ban earrings completely. They usually specify that only studs can be worn.

I think for the first yr or 2 they ban earrings because of health and saftey.
I remember having to take mine out for P.E. aged 7/8 onwards.
YANBU to think this is ridiculous.
You know your being judgey though lol.
But you get parents like this, it just comes down to the fact they don't care.
Sad but true.

Yes, there's definitely an outright ban on earrings.......

And yes, I guess I am being judgey but mainly because I (unashamedly ) pride myself in my boy's immaculate uniform and presentation. I'm the most disorganised person ever, but when it comes to anything school related, I make a real effort to be engaged and organised. I suppose I'm being judgey in expecting other parents to feel the same, or to have the same outlook or opinions on the matter of school uniform.

So yes, I find myself wearing (albeit small) judgey pants

Feckin earrings are bleedin stressful in school.

Just why do kids need them?

They must take them out for PE. Then they cannot get them in. I am not allowed to put them back in for them. Or, they can cover up them up with tape - 'cept the sort of kids who have bleedin' earring are not the sort of kid whose parent supplies the tape (yep, massive overgeneralisation) Cue me rummaging around in my cupboard trying to find some, meanwhile, kids hanging around not learning stuff.

Pain in the ar$s proper nuisance.

AND - I make a massive effort for my ds to be spick and span for school, despite him and me both being much/spillage magnets. I stick to the uniform and so should they. It's the principle about being the 'same' and therefore equal, not 'my mam or dad are too lazy to get me anything else' or 'look at me being all different'

YANBU

I'm going to open my entire drawer full of judgey pants and say why the fuck does a 4 year old have an earring???? I bet it looks totally stupid.

For some reason it makes my blood boil when I see little ones with pierced ears......

Whether or not the ban is reasonable or typical is neither here nor there, it's currently in place and so of course it should be adhered to.

That said, our school has rules about hair needing to be tied back once it's shoulder length (boys and girls) with bands, clips etc in school colours. Widely ignored in reception where pink fluffy bobbles rule - part of gentler approach for the newer smaller ones.

the earring thing would have me be going GRRR at the school It is I think a cultural thing becuase I genuinly do not see it as such a huge issue in Denmark (where I grew up) if children have earrings or not and many do when the start school.

I would personally be more irritated over the black jeans than the earring what if he only recently had it put in you shouldnt remove it during the first 6 weeks whilst the hole is healing..

I dont personally think a 4 year old boy needs an earring but thats "my" opinion these parents have decided that he did. I cant help but wonder how you would have felt if it had been a girl with pierced ears and small studs?

the jeans would irritate me I have to state

I found it hard enough work to organise my own children's uniform without having any energy to spare for noticing what others were wearing.

Though dd claims to have found a loophole in the regulations: apparently there is no rule against fishnet tights in the uniform policy of her secondary. Yes darling, quite, but I am not picking you up after detention.

I think that you have to feel sorry for the DC-it sets him apart.

YANBU. This is ignoring rules for the sake of it and because mum and dad thought he would look cute with an earring. You can bet the little boy didn't ask for it.

I don't understand why people say you are being judgey
If the uniform rules say no earrings then he (and any other boys or girls) should remove them then surely?
Won't the school say something?

YANBU. Schools must tear their hair out at parents who insist on flouting their rules. If you don't like the uniform policy at one school, then find another one that fits in with your need to wear jeans and earrings. If it's not enforced (and I'm pretty sure a state school can't from a legal standpoint) then it sets a precedent, and makes it harder for other parents to justify why their own children should abide by the rules esp. as they get older.

YANBU. Uniform policy should be adhered to, end of!

With regard to the earring I have my HUGE judgy pants on. I think there should be a minimum age at which peircings can be done. How can a baby or child consent to piercing? It's just a parent/guardian inflicting pain on a child for their own pleasure. That's without all of the problems peirced ears can bring with infections and accidents. I know 2 people who have had earrings ripped through their earlobe when they accidentally caught them, (one of whom was at school and wearing studs). As to what the minimum age should be, I'm not sure, at least 10.

I was being so judgey that I clean forgot how to spell judgey and pierced/piercing...oops

YANBU. really sad for the boy actually.

on first reading your OP I missed the word 'reception' and assumed you meant secondary school not 4 years old!

I know some schools (particularly, IME, those in lower income areas) don't enforce uniform rules due to parents not being able to afford uniform, but so often it's bollocks - Asda etc do clothes for a few quid, jeans (and designer trainers...) are much more expensive.

it's just lack of respect, really pees me off

loving the judgey pants boat sail idea EsioTrot :o

YANBU, no child needs an earing and it must be irratating for teachers.

Like other posters have said, either obey the school rules or find another school/home educate.

Piercing should be illegal for under 16's.

Leaving aside the issue of why the fuck you'd want to pierce the ears of a small child, it's a question of respect for the school. Telling them at 4 years old that they can do what the hell they like is a recipe for trouble...

if the child was older and had decided for himself that he wanted his ear pierced then the school have no buisness tellin ghim it needs to be removed for anything other than pe. I dont like seeing young children with peirced ears i dont see the point at all.

you are being too judgy, it dousnt affect you so why are you bothered? you shouldnt always blindly follow rules either, and i hope if you are moaning about this then you NEVER break any other rules yourself. And i bet you cant honestly say you havent !!

Can't say i agree with that - it does affect the OP when the rules and ethics of the school are undermined by other parents. Where do you draw the line? Do the kids not have to come in till 9:30 on some days if they don't want to get out of bed?

This is not a case of just blindly following any random rules - it is about teaching very young children that there are environments in which they have to follow rules. It starts in school and carries on into the workplace....

I feel sorry for the boy. Teachers will take one look at him, and think 'trouble', as will many parents (myself included). Yes, I'd judge.

But I can't see how you can find a school with a uniform code that you like. After all, it's not grounds for appeal for a school place, is it? And in any event, all primary schools have a pretty similar uniform code, don't they?