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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

how much more does your dp earn than you?

131 replies

NordicPrincess · 23/09/2010 14:10

if he does at all!

my my dp earns twice much as i do, but hes in a skilled job, im not sure if hes a professional though....

does your dp earn more than you or the other way round? and if so how much more?

OP posts:
nancydrewrocked · 23/09/2010 17:57

DH earns over 20x my "salary" since I actually do very little work these days Smile

I am a lawyer and only really do a couple of days a month. Once upon a time I earnt more but TBH I couldn't care less. It is not something that has ever been an issue in our relationship.

Litchick · 23/09/2010 18:01

DH and I are both self employed so our earnings fluctuate.

Generally, he earns between five to ten times more than me.

hushabyemountain · 23/09/2010 20:35

DH earns £100k more than me: I earn 0, he earns 100k. Works for us, he feels all manly for providing for us and I feel smug for snaring a high-earner Grin

missmoopy · 23/09/2010 20:43

He doesn't. I earn 35k, he earns 18k. Does it matter?

owlicecream · 23/09/2010 20:44

around 30 times Blush
I only do it for my sanity!

StealthPolarBear · 23/09/2010 20:47

We earn about the same, at any one time, one is usually about £2 or £3 thousand more than the other. Then it swaps etc.

StealthPolarBear · 23/09/2010 20:49

Can I just point out that 100% more is double

thisisyesterday · 23/09/2010 20:53

well i am a sahm mum, so i earn nothing. unless you count child benefit and tax credits? Grin

so he earns a lot more than me

TheFallenMadonna · 23/09/2010 21:02

DH takes home 5/4 of my salary. Ish.

violethill · 23/09/2010 21:04

Not a lot of difference- he earns about 2k a year more, simply because I was P/T for a few years while our children were under 5. We have degrees in the same subject and work in the same profession, so have always earned very similar incomes - which suits us fine. I'd find it very hard to be working and earn hugely less or hugely more than my partner I think.

Takver · 23/09/2010 21:14

cat64 : "This thread seems (mostly) to dispel your original notion Nordic. Do you think the only ones posting are the ones who earn more than their DH/DP or do the think the balance is so different in MN land from RL ?"

I think MNers tend to be rather different to the average. Looking at 2009 average earning figures from the Office of National Statistics:

"When calculated using the mean . . . women?s hourly pay was 16.4 per cent less than men's pay for full-time employees, 13.2 per cent less than men?s pay for part-time employees and 20.2 per cent less for all employees. "

So overall, on average, a woman will earn nearly a fifth less than a man.

dilemma456 · 23/09/2010 21:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

AnnieLobeseder · 23/09/2010 21:34

I'm very encouraged by how many women earn more than their DPs on here. Hopefully the old preconceptions about the man being the breadwinner are finally changing.

DH earns twice what I do, which is annoying since I have twice as many degrees as him! But he's private sector IT while I'm public sector science, so that's just how it is....

Even though I'll have a PhD in a couple of years and that will move me up the ladder faster, and even if I moved into the private sector, just because of our chosen fields I doubt I'll ever match his earnings.

But we consider all household finances shared so that's OK, apart from the fact that it would be nice if I earned more cos then we'd have more money!

fruitshootsandheaves · 23/09/2010 21:38

I am a student so I am actually earning a debt! so DH earns alot more than me
even if when I finish my degree I doubt I'll ever earn as much as DH. I will probably just work wherever I can (tesco is nearest!) Grin

Swarski · 23/09/2010 22:10

With bonus, I earn approx 3x what my DH does, and I work less hours. Both full time, but I am always home by 5pm and he often not until 8pm or later (and he leaves earlier in am). He is an engineer and I am a scientist. Both qualified to doctorate level. Guess I have just been luckier in career progression- having 2 children (12 month mat leave with each) has not affected this.

Swarski · 23/09/2010 22:10

With bonus, I earn approx 3x what my DH does, and I work less hours. Both full time, but I am always home by 5pm and he often not until 8pm or later (and he leaves earlier in am). He is an engineer and I am a scientist. Both qualified to doctorate level. Guess I have just been luckier in career progression- having 2 children (12 month mat leave with each) has not affected this.

ILoveDonaldDraper · 23/09/2010 23:14

DH makes about 110K more than I do. I am very grateful not to have the pressure of being the main breadwinner and admire those MNers who do have to do that. The money I earn pays for holidays, treats, new furniture, dinners out etc, but his income covers mortgage and all bills etc. I am self employed - some months I earn a lot but some months I don't earn any. I would find it very stressful if we were dependent on my income for fixed monthly outgoings, as some months there isn't any!!! I work full time but as a barrister, so my fees tend to get paid in a rather erratic fashion.

NordicPrincess · 24/09/2010 03:47

wow, its really good to see so many women earning more than their partners!
most of my friends are doing little part time jobs to fit in around their children.

I wonder if wel ever catch up with these years lost whilst raising children, im going back to retrain as a midwife hopefully and i cant imagin working full time-im really looking forward to it but am already feeling guilty for wanting to leave them!!

OP posts:
ClimberChick · 24/09/2010 04:19

well he's a SAHD so I earn X more than him

omaoma · 24/09/2010 12:42

Nordic: Not really representative of the population at large tho are we??! I should think Mumsnet is pretty well middle class isn't it?

slug · 24/09/2010 12:47

I earn about a quarter more than DH. I'm the more qualified but he's the more specialised.

PosieParker · 24/09/2010 12:48

100%, but not for long as I've just had a nibble for my complete CRM/Appraisal software!!

NordicPrincess · 24/09/2010 12:53

well yes but i suppose so but the people that have responded to this post in the large may have only replied as they are comfortable (not everyone before i get yelled at). There is no other group that i could ask excpet my friends and an online community i post to. I suppose its not representative at all...

OP posts:
MrsMadWriggle · 24/09/2010 12:55

Recently found out that DH's bonus was about double what I earned last year. Envy

(Might at well give up and become a SAHM, except I'd go a bit loopy)

Tootlesmummy · 24/09/2010 12:55

I earn double what DH does.

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