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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

how much more does your dp earn than you?

131 replies

NordicPrincess · 23/09/2010 14:10

if he does at all!

my my dp earns twice much as i do, but hes in a skilled job, im not sure if hes a professional though....

does your dp earn more than you or the other way round? and if so how much more?

OP posts:
Original poster
NordicPrincess · 23/09/2010 14:25

what do you do for a living? if i followed my degree id be a psychotherapist and when my children are in full time school i plan to go to ertain psychiatric hospital/prison and work as a psychotherapy assistant.
At the moment im stuck in customer services for a small company, but i still quite enjoy my job

OP posts:
gingerkirsty · 23/09/2010 14:25

I used to earn almost double what he did - even when I return to work PT I will still earn more. It has only been an 'issue' due to mat leave and also I would have chosen to go back for fewer days if he had earned more. Think my mum always hoped I'd marry someone more 'lucrative' but he makes me happy!

Money is a funny thing, some people loathe talking about it but it doesn't bother me.

RamblingRosa · 23/09/2010 14:26

I earn more than twice as much as DP

Giddyup · 23/09/2010 14:26

About a 100% at the moment as I am at uni, when I finish he will earn 10-15K more than me to begin with. I hope to catch up with him fairly quickly though!

mrsshackleton · 23/09/2010 14:26

Dh and I both self employed, annual earnings varied wildly

But last year I earned twice what he did [nah nah nah emoticon]

TrillianAstra · 23/09/2010 14:26

Very similar. Was about 1/3 higher up until a few months ago when I got a payrise. No children though.

fedupwithdeployment · 23/09/2010 14:26

X Post.

DH is an officer in the Navy and I am a solicitor. But I have had a couple of career changes and time out for children. Also, I am v happy working in house and not thrusting up the corporate ladder. If my aspirations were different, I'd be on way more £. But I'm not! Grin

TheReturnoftheSmartArse · 23/09/2010 14:27

Until he was made redundant a year ago, he earned about 5x more than me, but then again, he is well-qualified in a particular profession, and I'm just a PA. Now I'm the main breadwinner, and quite frankly, I don't like it one bit!

RumourOfAHurricane · 23/09/2010 14:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Hulababy · 23/09/2010 14:27

I work PT as a TA. DH is a FT partner in a solicitor's firm.

He earns approx 16/17 times more than me at the moment, which will increase steadily over time.

I could earn more if I returned to FT work as a teacher (I am qualified but chose to be TA). But this would compromise out home work balance, whih at present works really well between us and with DD. But, as a teacher, i could never earn what DD earns.

On the female male thing - a female equity partner in DD's firm would earn the same as him, but a female is more likely to be PT (in their exp anyway) so would be pro rata. there are also less female equity partners at the firm, although this may well change in years to come as there are more female solictors than male round here at least, esp of good quality. But the PT thing does have a big impact on their earning potential.

Original poster
NordicPrincess · 23/09/2010 14:28

fedupwithdeploymwnt im interested to know after talking with friends of mine, those who dont have children to who all seem to earn so much less than thier partners and was wondering if its just my friends or true for most other women to. I find it disheartening to be honest and was wondering if i could spot any trends to why this might be, bar children of course

OP posts:
LadyBaiter · 23/09/2010 14:29

I don't earn anyhting, and he does. So quite a bit more.

JustShaggingForNow · 23/09/2010 14:29

My DH earns about £50k more than me... and I wouldn't have it any other way!

KnitterNotTwitter · 23/09/2010 14:29

I earn double what DH does :)

notasize10yetbutoneday · 23/09/2010 14:31

I earn £5k more than DH. TTC at present and the loss of (at least some if not all) my salary is going to be a major shock!

Takver · 23/09/2010 14:36

NordicPrincess, absolutely it is true on average - you only have to look at the stats, can't recall exactly but I think looking at full time equivalents women earn on average something like 72% of men. And women with children are more likely than men to work part-time, p/t wages worse per hour on average than f/t, so yep, if you're a woman with kids you're on to a bad bet statistically speaking.

Me - DH & I run a company together so we both earn exactly the same! In fact everyone in the company is paid the same hourly rates, but we do the same hours as each other (though often at different times cos of childcare).

Antidote · 23/09/2010 14:37

I earn just under £1000 less per month than DH after tax, pensions NI etc.

We are both in the same profession, but he qualified a year before me and I took 3 years 'out' to do a PhD and did not get my annual increments to salary during that time so I am a bit behind. I also pay more into my pension than he does, to make up for the lost 3 years.

The relative parity of our incomes is something I find reassuring, as it means there is no hard feeling about who is the major bread winner etc. I also like the fact that if push came to shove we could survive on one of our incomes, albeit with some serious scrimping and saving.

ChippyMinton · 23/09/2010 14:40

V.similar jobs in the same sector, we are on the same pay band, but I earn half what he does because I work half the number of hours.

EmmalinaC · 23/09/2010 14:40

DH is several years younger than me so when we first got together I earned significantly more. Up until recently we earned approximately the same, even with me only working 3 days a week. But now his career is taking off and mine has reached a plateau(what with being a part-time working mother) and I expect in a few more years he'll be earning way more than me!

MisterW · 23/09/2010 14:41

My DW and I play the P60 game. The person with the biggest number has to pay for dinner out. I lost this year as mine was a few thousand higher than hers, although it didn't include her share options so I'm sure she should have lost.

scaryteacher · 23/09/2010 14:42

Loads more than me at the moment as I am a SAHM. He has throughout our marriage consistently earned £40k plus more than me, but he is 5 years older than me, and so was established in his career when we met. Even if I had stayed in teaching and gone through threshold, he would still be earning £40k more.

bluebump · 23/09/2010 14:43

Our full time wages would put his earning about twice what I do but i'm now part time so quite a lot less!

minibmw2010 · 23/09/2010 14:45

Unless both partners are in exactly the same job its impossible to judge whether its unfair that he gets paid more or not ... I earn £40K, DH earns £80K, but he is a professional with a university degree, I'm a PA with no university degree, so of course I'd expect him to earn more. Its just the way it is. I don't feel bad because he earns more. He also contributes more to our household because of it.

2rebecca · 23/09/2010 14:45

I earn more, and work fewer hours. He's looking forward to the kids finishing education including college/uni and becoming a kept man. Not sure I want him veging on the computer all day though.

preghead · 23/09/2010 14:45

we're about the same - same jobs, same industry. I wish he earnt a lot more tho so I could go PT or stop. I should think he eventually will earn more as in our industry not many senior women and you have to really fight for it and I'm not sure I can be arsed anymore.