To not allow my nine year old daughter a facebook account?

[Lilaclion]

My eldest daughter currently thinks I'm the devil personified as I will not allow her to have a facebook account.

I do feel mean, I know that several of her classmates do have accounts, but they are clearly viewing things that are not meant for their age group.

So why do some parents think it's okay and am I being unreasonable by not allow her an account?

YANBU - thought you had to be over 13?

The accounts are for age 13 and over. Yanbu at all - just looking out for your daughter's wellbeing.

Of course, she won't see it that way. :)

Of course you are not being u. I have only just allowed my 13 and a half year old it. It isn't legal to have it over 13 is it? I totally don't understand why any parent would let their child have it before then.

No I think you are just trying to be a responsible parent and thats tough when everyone else seesm to be doing it. I'm not sure what the age is but if you think she will be viewing things you don't want her to view that is your responsibility and you decide on that.

My dd aged 9 has facebook, and so do many of her friends (even younger than her - her cousin is 8 and has one)

I have her password and check it every day, also I have set all the security to the highest settings and she is not allowed to go on it(or her latop in general) without me being in the room.

Well, I usually get told IABU because I do allow my 6 year old ds to have a supervised FB account, so I think you'll be well supported in your decision!

As others have pointed out, FB t&c state that the person responsible for the account should be 13.

Anyway - your dd, your rules.

YANBU.

Stick to your guns, wait till your daughter is a teenager. Some kids get on there by putting a false year of birth

I know you have to be over thirteen, but so many young children do have their own pages despite the age restriction. There are obviously parents who are happy to allow it, I'm wondering what their deciding factor was.

YADNBU!
Children want to do too much too soon these days, you see too many young girls on FB posing provocatively for photos, my Dd will not be having a FB page till she is much much older!

she can have a facebook account without posing provocatively for photos!!! the two are not mutually exclusive

The issue of 13 is about US law: there's sufficient extra paperwork involved in a website signing up US residents aged 13 that it isn't worth their while. See here, about COPPA. There are all sorts of reasons to worry about children using Facebook at an early age (and later: there's been a fight in my daughters' school recently which appears to have its origins on Facebook) but compliance with COPPA doesn't arise for non-US residents.

OK, I've posted on these topics before, but basically:

• Ds gets a lot of benefit from it - he swaps messages with his uncle & his godmother. No faffing around with envelopes, stamps, posting - & tbh his uncle is feckless (if lovely!) & unlikely to stay in touch with a small nephew by letter...

• Dh is in a band - fans often post pictures & videos to their FB page - ds enjoys these.

• I'm a secondary school teacher & know only too well what naive 13 year olds get up to on FB (sending me friend requests, for a start! ). I want ICT literacy, including internet safe use, to be something my dc learn about early.

• I have access to his account & log in regularly. We have strict rules re: me vetting requests.

Thanks ravenAK, I hope you don't mind me asking....how old is your Ds?

He's 6.

At this point I usually get my arse flamed.

YANBU, but I don't see how you can prevent her from having one if she wants to.

I wouldnt worry too much about getting flamed raven, you know your DS and you know what you do to monitor his FB usage.

I agree about the contact thing too, dd uses hers to message her dad and nan as well as my cousins in australia and ireland. Used properly it can be a useful tool.

Having said all that, I don't actually have a FB account myself

YANBU. The minimum age is 13. It's a good opportunity to reinforce how upright and law-abiding you are as a family. :)

I am a teacher and my DDs are at the same school as me. I cannot allow them to have FB before 13, as it flies in the face of all the sage advice I give to the other pupils.

FB with preteens is not pretty. I don't think U16s manage it at all well. Whenever we have niggly relationship problems at school, Facebook is never far away.

Cote - she is nine. Why can't OP prevent her?

lol, sorry Raven if I've incited arse flaming behaviour!

I could never condone one of my children (or me) lying on a website, or anywhere else. I have brought up my children to tell the truth.

It's fine, I don't in the least mind being disagreed with on this one!

I think it's an entirely individual parenting decision - Mme B's arguments don't convince me one jot, but they may chime with you.

You teach your children that lying is fine? That definitely is not OK in my family.

I wish there was an equivalent to Facebook that was aimed at children. There's nothing like it for their age group, surely they could create at childrens facebook.

YANBU - I wouldn't even allow a 19 yr old to have one. FB accounts are routinely scanned by future employers. The data never goes away. Dangerous.