To not allow my nine year old daughter a facebook account?

[Lilaclion]

My eldest daughter currently thinks I'm the devil personified as I will not allow her to have a facebook account.

I do feel mean, I know that several of her classmates do have accounts, but they are clearly viewing things that are not meant for their age group.

So why do some parents think it's okay and am I being unreasonable by not allow her an account?

It means their parents just give into them for everything. Oh, their animalistic instincts.

Why can't you just lay down the law and teach your children right from wrong? It's not that hard to do.

spiritmum - it's fairly standard for secondary aged kids to have two FB accounts. Mum & dad know about one of them...

Which is why, whatever your opinion on 'underage' FBing, it's desperately important to teach kids about e-safety.

Oh, and what is your husband's view on the topic?

Mine is very strict with our offspring. Rule of law is to be respected, whatever other values you have.

Because laying down the law with a teenager doesn't work and make them miserable. They are beginning to form their own opinions which IMO is a good thing.

You have to pick your battle, be willing to comprimise and listen otherwise your child will resent you and end up having a FB account behiond your back and coming to someone like me for condoms and emergency contraception at 14 without your knowledge

My DD has it, and has had it since just before 12th BD.
One of my friends was outraged - and I was then shocked when her daughter friend requested DD.

I mentioned it in passing, and her DD had opened it without her knowledge. She can't check it or view it as she does not have FB herself, and has not made her dd delete it.

So my DD has a closely supervised account, which I condoned and allowed, even although it was not in keeping with FB t&C. Her DD has an unmonitored account, and has learnt that "no" means "find a way to go behind my back and that's OK".

I know which I think is more suitable.

Children may have two FB accounts, but that doesn't mean that you should not be steadfast in promoting the rule of authority.

I am in despair sometimes. Poor parenting is the root of most of our family problems in this country, promoted by the last government.

Same as mine, MmeB.

Why are we talking about rule of law? It doesn't actually apply here. Someone explained why upthread...

oh yes my DD has FB, and a convertable and she's allowed to drive it (not often, and supervised obvioulsy )

and only when I can look after her kids

Poor parenting is ruling with an iron rod.

Exactly, Pixie.

My DD1 really enjoyed signing up to FB shortly after her 13th birthday. It was a mini rite of passage.

She realises that her life is to be punctuated by significant events that are worth waiting for.

and my DD realises that moderation is the
key.

what's right for you may not nessecarily be right for others, you may do well to rememeber that

brandishes handbag

I must tell my kids I'm a liberal bullshitter, they'll like that! .

In fact, I'm off to put it as my FB status so that ds can 'like' it when he gets in from school.

lmao raven!!!

I hardly think that someone allowing their nine year old a facebook account makes them a bad parent.

OP, I don't think YABU, I wouldn't allow my nine year old a Facebook account as I don't believe he is sensible enough to keep himself safe and I also don't see what he needs it for. I have just allowed my 14 year old to set up an account and he uses it to keep in touch with school friends as he weekly boards so doesn't live near a lot of his friends.

Children of different ages are different levels of maturity, so I don't think age is the only factor to consider when deciding whether or not to allow a child a facebook account.

My 7 yr old didn't ask for a FB account - I just made him one so that he could send messages to 4 family members (cousins live in the USA) ....He doesn't know the pass word and tbh I don't even think he knows what FB is. Once every few weeks we log on to his account and we posts a few things on his wall ...that's it. I really don't see the problem with that.

Would i let him go onto FB alone - no not yet but i also don't let him roam around the internet alone either.

I think it important to install safe internet use from a young age.

YANBU - Head of dss' school had a meeting and begged parents not to sign their 9/10 year olds up to facebook as it caused extreme problems for 1 child last year. Legally it is for 13 year olds & children younger IMO are not mature enough to deal with the consequences when it all goes wrong.

SIL signed up 9 yo neice listing her age as 16. Why?? I wouldn't care who else had it I would just say 'no'. My child my decision.

YADNBU

YANBU - DS will not have one until he is older.

However, he does have an email account to communicate with his relatives who live abroad. They can also swap pictures etc so I don't feel he needs to be exposed to FB for a long time yet.

Plus, we always check his email with him so can spot any dodgy emails (all of his contacts are named) and he thinks he is independent whilst safe at the same time.

Could you negotiate an email account instead of a FB account?

Face Book is shite though - the earlier children figure this out, the better .