Toddlers on reins.

[ChooksAway]

All my three used reins on walks until I knew that they were reliable near roads.
I walked to school with a lady and her just walking toddler.
Three times the toddler ran outinto the busy road.
The mother didn't even attempt to hold his hand, justkept saying over and over "how else will he learn"

I told her that mine all had reins, and still learnt pretty quickly that roads are not to be messed with, and she gave me a look of absolute horror and told me that, in her book, holding dc's back with reins and not letting them find their own way is disgusting.

So, aibu to think that a childs safety at that age should be a higher priority than letting the child learn for itself that roads are dangerous?
There are open fields and parks all around us where she could let her son run - having no control next to a road is just barmy IMO!

YANBU. I used reins with mine. It is not a good idea to let a toddler find his own way by a busy road.

YANBU
On nursery walks we kept all under 3s on reins. One day a child was inadvertantly let go off, and he ran away at full speed among the cars!!! Heart attacks all round for staff, but his mother said 'Boys will be boys.

I agree with you but after the thread about this yesterday.... good luck

I have never used reins... I don't personally like them - that said I ALWAYS held my DD's hand - and she is still not allowed to walk on the road side of the pavement now - but moves herself (3.9)

YANBU what would she say if the toddler was hit "oh well thats what happens"? I don't think so the car driver would end up in trouble.

There is nothing wrong with reins and small children ARE a lot like dogs.

YANBU but it's up to her. I agree with you on this one though, he will have paid a terrible price if he runs out into the road and gets knocked down. Both my boys hated reins but we got around this by using the backpack with the rein attachment which they both seemed to like. I personally would never have the time or patience to let my toddler walk everywhere unaided i would also be worried about roads/dogs etc. Some people just have different ideas, lets hope nothing happens to him

YANBU.

Although DS has an irritating tendency to pull his feet up and hang when he gets bored of walking so I'm very keen to get to the 'independent' stage.

oh just remembered I DID use reins once! when we went to america (to get married) we had time at disney and I was basically terrified of losing her as it was so busy and I wanted to let her explore a little.... we used them one day and I went back to hand holding! luckily the heat and humidity meant she didn't want to walk loads and was happy in the buggy

YANBU. I hate reins, but I will be using them for DS; he is already so quick, by the time he is walking independently there is not a chance of me keeping up with him.

Its bizarre to me to put your childs life on the line if you know they have not yet grasped the Roads Are Dangerous idea.

YANBU.

Reins are a godsend, especially whilst trying to hold the hand of an older dc as well as pushing a pram.

Does anyone elses child do the 'death roll' when wearing reins though?

I wouldn't use them but wouldn't be so rude as to call you barmy for doing so.

I really don't understand the logic that says it is ok to strap a toddler down into a pushchair, but not to put reins on.

FWIW I found that I didn't neeed to use reins much with the boys, but was more than happy for our CM to use them.

mummynoseynora - the problem with holding their hands is that when they are very small and you are very tall if fucks up your back.

I've never used reisn (did try - fruitlessly) with DS1 and 2 becaues I felt I "had" to.

With DS3 decided I didn't want to.

But - each to their own - doesn't bother me one jot if someone else uses them.

I tried reins with my daughter when she was a toddler but she loathed them, she'd throw herself to the ground screaming if I put them on, and their only use would have been to literally drag her along the pavement. Obviously I didn't want to do that so they were no use to me. But I would have used them without question if she'd have entertained the idea.

She's now 3 1/2 and still as fiercely independent as ever - often won't hold my hand without a fight, unless (thankfully) we're crossing a road, when she will. She's old enough now that she (mostly) understands about not running off all the time, but when she was younger, walking anywhere other than open parkland with her was just impossible. So she ended up in the buggy the entire time - which curtailed her freedom much worse than reins would have.

I've seen this debate on an American site a couple of years ago. Most of the objections were either that a child is treated like a dog, or that the use of reins meant that children didn't have to be supervised properly and so encouraging lazy parenting. Both things are obviously bull, but for some reason, the use of reins polarise people. I've never seen a good argument against them and have used them myself many times. I was also personally put on reins in the 80s.

hehe tainted - I've got a good argument against them.

Nearly £50 and many tears spent, and ridiculous large number of hours wasted trying to get DS1 to use them.

She obviously has a thought-through approach: it's not like she's never heard of reins. Why does it bother you it's different to yours?

I don't like the 'Let's all hope nothing happens' teeth sucking, we all hope no children get run over. But using reins is not 'the right approach' - it's one approach, and they can't stay on reins forever. There's an argument that removing a child's power to think for themselves by using the reins makes it less likely they'll learn road safety for when they're older - I'm not saying this is so, just that there are other approaches, and they're just as reasonable as yours.

Another problem with constantly relying on hand holding is the sweat factor. Hold on as tight as you want to little hands, but on a hot sweaty day, it only takes a split second for a toddler to rip away from you. That obviously doesn't happen with reins.

@ MaMoTTaT

£50?

£50 for reins??

Where theyn gold plated with diamonte edging???

As soon as my DS is walking I'll be trying out reins, I have some already that I use for his high chair so will just see how they go down with him (not very well I suspect!). I really don't get the problem with them. Of course your DC is not like a dog BUT until they can fully understand the danger of roads, running out of site etc, what else can you do? My DS is very very active and I don't want him to be stuck in his buggy the whole time when we're out once he is able to walk. He's also very strong, so the chance of him wriggling free when I hold his hand will be pretty high, so then what do I do?
As long as they are used along side educating your child about road safety, staying near you etc, what is the problem???