Toddlers on reins.

[ChooksAway]

All my three used reins on walks until I knew that they were reliable near roads.
I walked to school with a lady and her just walking toddler.
Three times the toddler ran outinto the busy road.
The mother didn't even attempt to hold his hand, justkept saying over and over "how else will he learn"

I told her that mine all had reins, and still learnt pretty quickly that roads are not to be messed with, and she gave me a look of absolute horror and told me that, in her book, holding dc's back with reins and not letting them find their own way is disgusting.

So, aibu to think that a childs safety at that age should be a higher priority than letting the child learn for itself that roads are dangerous?
There are open fields and parks all around us where she could let her son run - having no control next to a road is just barmy IMO!

I don't get the "finding their own way" arguement at all. Is she banking on a motorist screeching to a halt when her dc finds his own way into the road?

I used a combination of pushchair, reins and handholding. Handholding is fine but little arms start to ache and hands get sweaty.

Main negative point wrt to reins is that it's a PITA when dcs start swinging on them.

YANBU I'm expecting our first, I've always had reservations, after my MiL dragged my neice about by it she tends to use it in places that you wouldn't really use one.

However, I'm short and can easily hold the hand of 15 month old nephew in a playpark and neice is now 4 and a bit so doesn't need much handholding. She's tall and it would break her to bend over all the time to hold onto nephew. So I can see why she uses it, she's also petrified of loosing him.

Another however, I've never taken Nephew or Neice along a busy road, so have no experience, but would want to use it for nephew who's off like a rocket, i don't want to risk the wrath of SiL. My SiL has a private and gated drive and it's a hellishly long walk to get out of her place so she's never used them, she doesn't like them, but agrees that for certain situations it is inappropriate.

I did have to tell MiL that reins in an enclosed play park may be a little extreme, she was worried that if he was off the reins the bigger toddlers would beat him up

I would not call you barmy or be rude to your face about it.

If I use reins with DS he has a tendency to sit down in the middle of the path and scream and we get nowhere.

He refuses to hold hands as well, so mostly he is in the pushchair, though I let him walk by quiet roads, or medium roads with large pavements. I don't let him walk so far away from me that I couldn't grab him if he did run into the road, and he gets ONE chance, if he goes too close to the road or refuses to walk close to me then he goes in the buggy. I have to be aware of where he is 100% of the time though so am aware I can only do this as he's an only child.

He's a nightmare crossing the road as well though. Still refuses to hold hands. I just carry him across roads but he's often kicking and screaming "DOWN!" If it's a pelican crossing he likes that as I hold him up and let him press the button, then we look for the green man.

He is just under two though so I think he will get better as he gets older. I was always intending to use reins though!

YANBU. Reins are a godsend. DS is a runner. Holding his hand, he has a very good wiggle and can get away if he really tries. I really don't get this 'reins are bad thing'.

Bollocks to what daft people think (the woman who said "how will they learn" being daft).

Bonnyprincebilly - I know it's none of my business, but how would you feel in that situation when a child, quite oblivious to how dangerous the busy road is, is allowed to race out unchecked? I would hope that the "it's not your child, so why bother" opinion is rare.

YANBU, lots of parents think that holding hands is enough, but it only takes that ONE slip for it to all end in tragedy .
If you regularly walk near busy roads it should be and automatic thing to use reins or a wrist strap.

The fashion for the backpacks is daft as they look more like a dog lead than anything else! And furthermore, most kids can undo them

I tried a wrist strap briefly - they seemed like a great idea. But the third time I used it DD just took it off her wrist!

At least if she is holding the buggy (always on the inside away from the road) I can see her & know exactly what she is up to. And again, as soon as she let's go or if she won't hold on she goes straight back into the buggy without any further debate. As she really really wanted to walk, she learnt very quickly what was required in order for her to do so.

With the number of cyclists etc in parks these days they can often be really unsafe for walking toddlers too so we employ the same rules & techniques there if necessary.