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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that truely feminist stance on prostitution, is to support legalisation?

589 replies

StuckInTheMiddleWithYou · 21/09/2010 18:00

I recently moved to an inner city area.

There is a known brothel here and a homeless shelter.

I have seen some very sad, desperate sights walking past our home lately.

I wouldn't want any child of mine involved in this trade, however this does strike as something which desperately needs regulating - for the sake of the women, girls and boys involved.

Prohibition has failed miserably.

AIBU?

OP posts:
BlackBess · 22/09/2010 10:49

Yes aich-name changed. Thought I'd better lest people start sending me food parcels. MN has been features on a number of working girls forums. These are closed forums for female workers only I'm afraid.

There are a handful of established MN's who do follow these threads with personal interest though-myself included.

I believe Government statistics suggest that 78% of Mumsnetters are on the game and of that 80% have been trafficked in from the Isle of White against their will

larrygrylls · 22/09/2010 10:50

Dittany

"The benefits to the few don't outweigh the harm to the many"

That is a very dangerous phrase and has been used to justify all kinds of draconian laws including locking people up who are "mentally ill" in the old Soviet Union.

What I do not get about you is that you are clearly very well read in a very narrow sphere. Have you never read "Animal Farm"? Your brand of feminism seems very prescriptive to other women, merely replacing "the menz" with a cadre of uber feminists who can dictate to other women what they can and cannot do. Or how about "1984" and "newspeak". I have seen women say they are happy in situations that clearly rankle with you and where you feel they should be unhappy. Then you bring out the brilliant term "cognitive dissonance" which basically translates as "you do not know your own feelings, let me tell you what you should be feeling".

Granted there are plenty of exploited women (and men too). But should one's first reaction not be to take someone at their word, not to tell them how and what to think?

dittany · 22/09/2010 10:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aitch · 22/09/2010 10:52

if you have something interesting to say, bb, say it. give the hilarity a rest, eh?

BlackBess · 22/09/2010 10:52

buggeration, I can't type today.

Portofino · 22/09/2010 10:52

Dittany - but the point is it HASN'T reduced prostitution - it has driven the demand underground and made women more vulnerable It also appears to have move the problem to other countries.

dittany · 22/09/2010 10:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Miggsie · 22/09/2010 10:53

Surely the feminist stance is to get rid of this societal view that men "need" sex, have a "right" to sex whenever they want, and if they can't get a willing partner, then they can just pay?

larrygrylls · 22/09/2010 10:56

Dittany,

I am out of here anyway. There seem to be a lot of women on this thread (one an ex prostitute) who are telling you that you are plain wrong. Maybe she is still suffering from "cognitive dissonance"?

Let's see what the consensus is? Or does a consensus of women not matter? Only the "feminists" who have not yet shown up? Clearly some women are more equal than others in your mind.

dittany · 22/09/2010 10:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Portofino · 22/09/2010 10:57

Dittany - but every bloody thread, women = victims of the evil patiarchy. It does womankind no good to constantly be told that we are victims of men!

All you see here is "stop the nasty men from doing it" whereas I see "why do women do this in the first place and how can they best be helped to stop, IF that is what they want." Hence my links to the drug trade - because there drugs do play a big part in this too.

BlackBess · 22/09/2010 10:57

Dittany's heart is in the right place. You don't know what you don't know until you know it. In this case it would mean experiencing it or meeting some WG's and their clients.

That'll happen for Dittany when hell freezes over Smile

Portofino · 22/09/2010 10:58

The number of men who will "admit" to having paid for sex has reduced by one third. It is illegal after all!

scottishmummy · 22/09/2010 10:58

any poster can post on any thread with out virtual eyerolling when they do so.bad manners to be all oh no not you again.imo if your beliefs are robust, then hang about and tackle divergent pov head on

Aitch · 22/09/2010 10:59

surely both is preferable, portofino? discourage men from thinking that they can just fuck women as a right, and trying to stop women's lives being in such a place as to think getting fucked by paying men is a great career?

dittany · 22/09/2010 11:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlackBess · 22/09/2010 11:05

Porto: not for most of us (drugs)

Larry: I'm also a feminist. This 'man-hating' crap is not helpful and shows your grasp of Dittanys POV is tenuous.

Why are you on Mumsnet? Do you have any interest in anything on mumsnet other than threads about prostitution?

BlackBess · 22/09/2010 11:06

Aitch: I won't be giving it a rest anytime soon sweetheart.

Deal

BlackBess · 22/09/2010 11:07

Honestly, why are you in AIBU Aich?

Aitch · 22/09/2010 11:08

Hmm well if you are absolutely intent on being a nob, carry on. i just thought you might have had something interesting to say.

BlackBess · 22/09/2010 11:11

Aich, You asked a question, I answered you politely then you told me to shut up!

I can now see that your original question as to how I found this thread was a loaded one. You ASSUMED I was not a Mumsnetter because I was a hooker. You ASSUMED i'd come here on some sort of crusade. You probably also assumed I was a man. All wrong. All rude.

Back in your box you ignorant creature

Saltatrix · 22/09/2010 11:12

I don't know how that can be considered a weak argument is that not what you as a feminist want? the safety of such women?

I don't see anywhere how the Nordic model has improved the conditions for the women who still continue prostitution despite the illegality of it for their clients. If anything it means they would be less likely to go to the police if a punter is causing them trouble because they can then lose all of their punters.

As to where I get my facts well the research done after the failure of Pentameter shows that the statistic of trafficking being rife in this country just is not true.

Prostitution is already legal here and trafficking/force is not rife as previously expected what would be the harm of allowing independent women to work together?

scottishmummy · 22/09/2010 11:14

honest to god how bizzare has this got

why is you here?
oh and why is you here?
You're a nob
No i isnt

and no one has to justify why they post to anyone else.no one has right to demand an expalanation or reason for posting

open discursive forum people post because they can and want to.like we all do

Portofino · 22/09/2010 11:17

Aitch, but if you empower women, then there IS no "right" to sex. The same applies if we are talking about some sad domestic situations in the relationship threads. History seems to have given SOME men the idea that sex is there as a "right".

The only way to change that is to clearly demonstrate that it isn't, through education, through building women's self esteem, making it clear that woman have power over their own bodies. Criminalising behaviour won't do that.

BlackBess · 22/09/2010 11:17

I AM a nob, but really! I will not shush.

Not I.

Well....I will in a minute because I have to go to Tescos. But i'm not really shushing ok?

Ok

Hello Scottishmummy.