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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Dad ogling pg 3 girls in playground

406 replies

anotherglass · 21/09/2010 15:02

Strolled into school this morning with DS1 (6) to find a dad "reading" pg 3 of the Sun ( norks were in full view of the Year 2 line up ).

I thought this a tad inappropriate and asked him to turn the page, but he was really put out and huffed and puffed at me.

Tell me I was not being unreasonable.

OP posts:

shinyrobot · 21/09/2010 20:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scottishmummy · 21/09/2010 20:50

and another corner for the habitually indignant

Hullygully · 21/09/2010 20:51

And a third for the wilfully dense

scottishmummy · 21/09/2010 20:52

and fourth for the serially offended

Hullygully · 21/09/2010 20:52

You've nicked the last corner now

HerBeatitude · 21/09/2010 20:54

I bet you bet we bet SM, no i have no way of knowing but I have never read of an incident where a man was asked to leave a cafe/ bus/ museum because he was reading page 3, but I've read of many incidents where mothers breastfeeding were asked to leave venues. Ergo, I conclude that breastfeeding in public is generally considered more offensive than reading page 3 in public. I can't prove it. You can't prove not. We have an impasse.

LA, I have no problem with men getting sexually aroused by breasts. I do have a problem with them doing so in a children's playground. I also have a problem with them taking a picture of breasts into a playground and promoting the idea that breasts are boy's toys to other people's children. Just as I have a problem with them smoking, promoting the idea that it is normal to smoke, drinking stella or swearing.

Would you not mind about any of those then?

Ladyanonymous · 21/09/2010 20:56

I think the only people it is suggested are being dense are those who disagree with the OP and her supporters?

Why post on AIBU if you are just going to accuse those who do not agree with you POV of being dense.

Working in CP and in schools I'll tell you now that the school would not thank you for making an issue of this - they have real issues to deal with like running a school and identifying kids who are actually being abused.

Ladyanonymous · 21/09/2010 20:58

....and when did the OP ever say the guy was visibly sexually aroused?

tethersend · 21/09/2010 20:59

Oh God, that's terrible. It's like someone saying clitoris at a parents and teacher meeting. Not that anybody would.

curryfreak · 21/09/2010 20:59

I'd have made it my business to embarriss the twunt as much as possible,- in front of as many mothers as possible. Wonder if he has daughters. I fucking hope not!

Clumsymum · 21/09/2010 21:03

I also totally agree with Ladyanonymous

I think it is someone's own business what newspaper they read, in public or anywhere else. If you happen to object to something that is in that newspaper, well Tough.

Your moral (and political) opinion is that children shouldn't see that sort of thing.

That person may object to you reading the Telegraph or Guardian in front of his children, because it has a headline which is opposed to his political opinions (and his children might see it). You would be pretty tee'd off I bet if he asked you to fold your paper up because of that.

Personally, I think there are far FAR worse things that many children are exposed to in this world.

I think 99% of the children wouldn't even have noticed that had a newspaper, never mind that it had tits in it (at least until you actually pointed it out by asking him to hide them).

You are not being unreasonable by holding the opinion you hold. You ARE being unreasonable by IMPOSING your opinion on a bloke who is glancing thru a legitimate mainstream newspaper on a tuesday morning.

FlyingInTheCLouds · 21/09/2010 21:13

I don't know.

HerBeatitude · 21/09/2010 21:13

"Working in CP and in schools I'll tell you now that the school would not thank you for making an issue of this - they have real issues to deal with like running a school and identifying kids who are actually being abused."

And that is part of what is wrong with schools. Sexism is a real, disgraceful oppression of little girls and women, just as much as racism is a real, disgraceful oppression of black children and adults.

If a man was reading a BNP leaflet in a school, which had a caricature of a black man on it, or an anti-Semitic cartoon of a jewish person, I don't think there's any doubt that a HT would tell the person that that publication could not be shown in school. But a sexist, degrading portrayal of women? Oh that's fine, that's no problem at all.

What a crock of shit. It's time schools took sexism as seriously as they do racism, because hey guess what, women and girls matter as much as ethnic minorities do - and guess what, half of ethnic minorities are women and girls.

Will people stop saying he was just reading a newspaper. He wasn't, he was showing a picture of an objectified woman.

HerBeatitude · 21/09/2010 21:16

"Your moral (and political) opinion is that children shouldn't see that sort of thing."

That is not my moral and political opinion, my children see that sort of thing all the time, because my mother reads the sun. I point out to them the social and political reasons why page 3 exists. (In age appropriate language of course. )

And what about that man imposing his view of women on to all the little girls, boys and women in the playground? Why is he allowed to impose his view, but them not to impose their's?

scottishmummy · 21/09/2010 21:16

we frequent a caff that puts out daily record,sun,dm,herald now by no measure are all of those my papers of preference. i certainly wouldn't ask the proprietor to stop supplying them,nor would i ask anyone to refrain from reading them adjacent to me and family.

chipped off the bus for bf.ah there was that bristol mum on mn who made story up

Original poster

anotherglass · 21/09/2010 21:18

LA,

I have not accused anyone who disgreed with me of being dense. Read back thru my posts.

Don't know for sure if the guy was aroused but he was looking at the pic long enough for me to feel slightly uncomfortable about what might be happening in the playground in front of the little 'uns.

And yes I would do the same again if it happens tomorrow.

OP posts:

NineTails20 · 21/09/2010 21:23

I'd be more offended that he was reading the S*n.

raises hand

May name is Tisha, and I am a proud boycotter of The S*n......I support Liverpool. :o

LittleMissHissyFit · 21/09/2010 21:24

YANBU, reading the Sun in a playground just isn't right!

TheFallenMadonna · 21/09/2010 21:25

The OP only asked him to turn the page. Had he been more interested in reading the newspaper, then there was plenty left for him to enjoy, surey? She didn't say "put that filth away right now", she asked him to turn away from the tits.

HerBeatitude · 21/09/2010 21:25

sm I wouldn't ask the proprietor not to have the sun out either.

But if page 3 was showing, I'd turn the page so it wasn't.

And it's a caff, not a playground.

Oh yes there was that one story where she'd made it up.

And then there were all the others where thy hadn't made it up.

And then there are no stories whatsoever about men being turned off buses for reading page 3.

NotEnoughTime · 21/09/2010 21:26

Good for you anothaglass for having the guts to stand up for yourself. I too am sick of societys normalisation of porn-never thought one would have to deal with it in a SCHOOL PLAYGROUND :(

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 21/09/2010 21:26

Yeah because small children never find boobs, bums, willys etc interesting do they? They don't, for example, practise writing those words down just to be naughty, or delight in shouting them out. A load of bored 6 year olds in a queue would look straight past a PICTURE OF A NAKED LADY to the trees and flowers beyond.

BeerTricksPotter · 21/09/2010 21:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SmellsLikeTeenSweat · 21/09/2010 21:29

Agree with SethStarkaddersMum & others that YANBU, and well done for tackling him.

I HATE Page 3 but respect the right of those who like to look at pictures of naked/half naked women to do so, in private.

Original poster

anotherglass · 21/09/2010 21:29

Clumsymum, I don't want norks in my, or my kid's face, in the playground. I have no problem with imposing on him to stop him imposing on me.

OP posts:

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