Dad ogling pg 3 girls in playground

[anotherglass]

Strolled into school this morning with DS1 (6) to find a dad "reading" pg 3 of the Sun ( norks were in full view of the Year 2 line up ).

I thought this a tad inappropriate and asked him to turn the page, but he was really put out and huffed and puffed at me.

Tell me I was not being unreasonable.

He wasn't waving it about - he was reading it and minding his own business. Promoting innappropriate items in school is an OTT example and completely different.

If he has a load of small boys around the climbing frame and was going "ere look at the tits on her" it would be inappropriate too or if he was as other have said blatently getting off on the picture.

You sound like you have too much time on your hands to worry about what others are doing.

I always find it hilarious when people say "you should be paying attention to [e.g.] your DC instead!" - can most people really only pay attention to one thing at a time? Should OP be standing looking fixedly at her DC, possibly clad in blinkers to elimiate peripheral vision? :o

Burlesque dancers would sure liven up an end of term assembly.

"but it seems a bit worrying that he can't see the inappropriateness of waving topless photos around in the playground."

But that´s not what he was doing, is it?

Well 1) they were topless photos 2) he was in the playground and 3) show me a way to read a newspaper, turning pages etc, while standing up that doesn't include an element of motion (waving around) and I'll take it back...

Ladyanonymous, the page was in full view of the Year 2s. Not all discreet.
I would mind my own business if he was in the pub or another adult venue reading his paper, but I wouldn't have pg 3 lying around the house so why should my son be exposed in the school yard?

Oh dear god. Why post asking if YABU if you are totally of the opinion that your reaction was the correct one?

The newspaper is legal. He was not waving the page 3 article about. Is this another thing we would like the all powerful state to involve themselves in, another thing to micromanage?

If you asked me to close it I would have refused and asked you to mind your own businss.

Mind you, lots of school mums hate my Telegraph, not as cosy as the Guardian.

I bloody hate pg 3, FWIW, because sometimes it's nice to read a paper like the Sun (albeit usually left behind on the train) rather than ploughing through the broadsheets. But the minute I open up the paper there's a big picture that's basically saying "Actually this paper is for blokes, kindly sod off. Or read on, we'll let you, but be aware that really this is for blokes, okay?"

YANBU

Tabloids are gross with their norky pages...you haethe right to ask tell him to shut the rag whilst he is near you OR your kids.

:o at people saying "it's legal!". Well so are froot shoots and pole-dancing classes for kids, that doesn't mean they can't be controversial does it?

Perfumedlife, if you were sat there staring at pg 3 for as long as this dad was, I would have made a scene if you refused to leave. FGS, be sensible. This is not about state v individual.

Leave your norks outside the school gate.

aS LONG AS HE WASN'T SAYING 'GET A LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THESE BABIES' I wouldn't have cared tbh. Most year 2's would be too short to see anything but the back page. Sorry for caps

Sorry, meant to say 'refused to turn page' not be escorted from the school grounds. I do read the Telegraph on weekends, perfumedlife.

Are you telling me you think you have the right to order fathers off of school premises for reading (looking at ) a newspaper?

Because I certainly would not leave. Where do you draw the line? What if I was reading Mills & Boon, would that offend your feminist sensibilities? Are you really an advocate of censorship?

I am sensible. Any mother worth the name would be more than able to distract her child from material SHE considered inappropriate.

As before, why did you post the question here in AIBU if you are so certain you are being reasonable?

Is page 3 soft porn? - yes. Look at this definition of soft porn.
Just because hardcore porn has got harder and softcore porn has got more ubiquitous doesn't mean that soft porn has magically become not-porn-any more. It is still soft porn and there is more of it.

Is there a soft porn etiquette - of course there is. But it comes under general etiquette too doesn't it? You can argue that men have a right to look at this stuff in public, but given that it frequently makes women nearby feel upset, uncomfortable or self-conscious, it would be hard to argue it was considerate or polite.

Just seen your later post, thank god you don't have delusions of all powerful grandeur.{smile]

You have page 3 girls in your playground? Blimey! Hope they were appropriately dressed.

No yanbu. The bloke is obviously a savage.

It's not illegal to read the sun but it's on a par with smoking, swearing and dressing like a hooker - not appropriate for a plyaground, not to be done in front of other people's children. If he wants his daughters to get the message that their breasts are boy's toys, that's his business (and their's). But he has no right to expose other people's children to that crap.

YANBU.

Yes, agree with some posters that there's nothing wrong with breasts and that children should not be made to feel that bodies are dirty.

However those page three pictures are not about feeling comfortable in your body. There are no unusual/old/fat/male bodies. There is no purpose other than looking at young women's breasts in a purely sexual context. They are simply (admittedly pretty tame) pornography.

Any pictures with a sexual context/intention are not appropriate for a dad to bring into the playground.

Congrats for speaking up. I think he was being completely inappropriate.

If this happens again I would be talking to the school and asking them to send a message out in the school newsletter asking blokes to not bring soft porn with them when picking up kids.

smallwhitecat, nice try but no cigar. The op was posting it in the then, that every one would clap their hands and agree with her.

A lot don't. But rather than live and let live, and agree to disagree, she is telling me to be sensible and agree with her.

Shall we rename it "I'm right and You're wrong?

Yanbu and well done for having the bottle to tell him to put it away.

perfumedlife, no I don't have the right to order any one off the school premises, that was a typo. What I did was ask the dad to turn the page so the semi naked woman wasn't in full view of the children.

I don't advocate censorship.

As I have said many times in all my posts, I no problem with pg 3 in the pub or any other adult venue, just don't think it appropriate in the infants school yard.

Many people post on AIBU to sound out their initial gut reactions to situations. I thought I was being reasonable to ask the dad to please turn the page but his reaction did unnerve me.

After reading some of the responses I have received, I have become more certain about my actions and this has reflected in my posts.

YANBU. Of course it's inappropriate.

And why should parents have to distract their children from inappropriate things at the school playground? It's a school playground, meant for children, just don't do anything that's inappropriate!