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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be stressed about this?

272 replies

thefirstmrsDeVere · 16/09/2010 14:39

Ok, following on from 'lots of needy threads' thingy.

Here is your space to tell everyone what is 'stressing' you at the moment. I mean 'stress' because we all know its not the end of the world, there are people far worse off than us blah blah. I have a seperate thread for the thing that causes me real, deep down stress and I have the SN boards for my other really stressful thing.

This is for the stuff like:

Someone in my family messed up the combination on the little padlock I keep on a certain kitchen cupboard (long story, dont judge). I bought a combination lock because someone kept losing the key to the other one. So at stupid oclock this morning I had to unscrew the bloody door to get at the baby breakfast that is also kept in there (note - I dont lock the baby food up, it is just kept in there as well)

Did the shopping in Morrisons today, full of horrible people shouting at each other and buying pies. Got to my car, opened the boot only to find my OH had put the buggy in there and didnt think to tell me. Drove home with boxes of rice crispies etc falling on me every time I turned the corner.

DC2's school bus is late every flippin day and its COLD.

Next promised I could have my new biker boots today and they LIED.

All that lovely hair I had thanks to two quite close together pregnancies has now fallen out. Crowning glory? No.

Anyone want to join me in a big ol whinge fest?

OP posts:
Livinginoz · 18/09/2010 13:36

I'm stressed because we moved to the other side of the world 3 months ago and I have just started to meet new mummy friends when I went and got myself a full time job, so the babysitting group we were talking about will go on without me and I will never have a social life ever!

I'm also stressed because I forgot a 2 yr old's birthday party tomorrow and now have to trek across the city on the day before said new job.

We have no money and won't for at least another 2 months when I get a full wage.

Our shipping STILL hasn't arrived, despite being collected on 14th June, and when it does arrive I'm sure our apartment (and most definitely our kitchen) will be too small for all our stuff!

We are, and have been for 2 months, sleeping on a blow-up bed, and DS is still in a travel cot!

And despite all this, I cried this morning watching DS play in the sea with DH because I knew we are giving him an amazing life and there is definitely a reason for all the stress! :)

thefirstmrsDeVere · 18/09/2010 22:42

Hello all,

Stressed today because I cant leave my 7 year old alone. Its getting me down a bit. As soon as I am out of his sight he will be in my bag, kitchen cupboard, fridge wherever looking for food (sweets, chewing gum, biscuits). I dont have many in the house but he is obsessed (many posts on this). Its getting me down a bit TBH. I love him so much but in some ways he is still developmentally a toddler. I am so sad that I am cross with him so much because I love him so much.

I wish that I could help all of you living with Cancer. I would come and do your shopping and cleaning and play with your DCs if I could. I would be your 'mother's help' even if it were for a few hours a week. I am very good at cleaning Grin

Keep the stresses coming, let them out, share them. Remember EVERY worry and whinge is valid on here.

OP posts:
ooosabeauta · 19/09/2010 19:36

That sounds really tough thefirstMrs. I can't imagine how that must be but I know that it's the most painful thing to see someone you adore doing something which isn't good for them but not being able to stop it. I remember an RE teacher once saying that being cross and having anger was a very useful natural reaction, and that we shouldn't discourage it, just use/manage it wisely. I sometimes think of that when I feel guilty about it. I don't know if that helps. Feel for you though.

This pales in comparison really, but... I'm stressed because our plumber's just called to say he's now coming on Friday to do our shower, but it's my due date on Thursday and I started labour on due date last time. He says he'll let himself into the house if we're in hospital, but I'm having such a powerful nesting drive at the moment that I have to clean everything that anyone's touched, and I couldn't cope with not knowing where he might have walked with shoes on! God this makes me sound mad.

pinkthechaffinch · 19/09/2010 19:55

I keep forgetting things and making stupid mistakes.

Yesterday I posted my sister a birthday card with a tenner in it to her old address-only realised when my 79 year old gran phoned me to check it Blush

In the space of one day last week, I forgot ds's swimming kit, drove to the nearest town without my purse, and did the school run, got dd out of her car seat and realised she hadn't been strapped in Shock. Luckily she was fine.

I went home and cried. How the hell am I going to cope with even part time work at this rate?

AuntieBulgaria · 19/09/2010 20:16

oh balls. I just lost a huge rant.

I took up smoking again today for the first time in 3 years after 3 days on my own with DD aged 3.

MilkNoSugarPlease · 19/09/2010 20:28

I started a thread about something mundane, then got a bit to into it and am irrationally annoyed at myself

Have £38 for the rest of the month, luckily have no DC to feed/cloth but still not good

I'm tired

and fed up at work this week

and I've written a condolence card to a friend of mine who lost her DD on Friday...is so sad and i've fucked up the card

And i'm way to fat

and i'm fed up

LittleMarshmallow · 19/09/2010 20:30

I'm stressed because I have been signed off work again

it is 3 weeks till my holiday with ds and for reason unknown to me at this point half my inlaws are coming, yes i know ds will have fun but it might be a bit much for 7 days

oh and ds has a hospital appointment he hates these thinks he is going to die etc and my hv was going to come help me but forgot and now it is just ds and i

CBW · 19/09/2010 20:37

My husband and 2 sons are a BIG PITA. They have been rude, unmannerly and unpleasant all day long. The rudeness and bad temper just bounces from one to the other and I try to sit in the middle and stop it getting out of control and quite frankly I am FED UP. They can all go jump off a cliff

moosemama · 19/09/2010 20:56

Can I come and rant too? Bet mine's the longest rant of them all.

Please don't feel obliged to read it all as its very long, but I'm sure it will feel better to let it all out.

My 20 month old daughter fell and fractured her wrist on Tuesday - cue emergency dash to local A&E involving calling my Mum to sit for my two boys and dh and I missing ds2 parents' information meeting. Waited at A&E for hours where she started using her arm to play, so they sent us home.

She obviously wasn't right, couldn't put any weight on her arm, climb on the sofa etc. But they said probably soft tissue damage, so dosed her up with calpol and sent her home. (This is the same A&E that missed my fractured foot 11 weeks ago!)

Next day, ds2 announced that he was too full to eat - even when he was offered some sweets. Alarm bells rang at that point. Then after he hadn't eaten his tea, he went to get his pjs on we discovered he had a huge distended, rock solid abdomen (think 9 months pregnant Shock) which was painful to touch. He had just got over what a vomiting virus. Called the out of hours GP who said I was right to call, as he had lots of the warning signs for appendicitis, so to bring him straight down to the emergency doc - at the same hospital as last night!

Another emergency call to Mum to babysit, followed by a dash to the hospital and a long wait. Fortunately it turned out not to be appendicitis, unfortunately it was an impacted bowel caused by the vomiting and not eating for three days.

Oh - and we missed our first ever support group meeting for ds1's SN because we were at the hospital.

Next day, dd was obviously still in pain and not right, so called GP for advice and was told to take her to the city hospital to Paediatric A&E. Cue most of the day spent there with her using her arm and not showing a problem, but screaming the place down every time a doctor or nurse came within 6 feet of her.

They finally decided to xray and found she had a buckle fracture of the wrist that had slightly splintered. They put on a backslab/temporary plaster and arranged for her to come back to fracture clinic the next day to have it assessed by a paed consultant and be fitted with a fibreglass cast.

Left hospital to find several missed calls from the boys' school on my mobile. Then my phone rang again and it was the school. Ds1 had apparently been really poorly all afternoon, his teacher was very concerned about him and they hadn't been able to reach me, could I come and fetch him straight away? By now it was 2.30 pm, it would take half an hour to get to them and he comes out at 3.15 anyway.

Dashed to the school, arriving at 2.55, only to find ds1 seemingly perfectly well and happy. Hmm Fortunately they let me pick ds2 up at the same time to save going back again 20 minutes later. Got home to discover a very cross dh had also been called to come out of work, when they couldn't reach me - this had caused a row with his boss!

We were convinced he was fine, put his bad stomach down to him eating gluten the night before, but the school insisted he stay off for 48 hrs, so that meant he would have to come with me to the fracture clinic the next morning.

As Mum drove me to the fracture clinic next morning (oh yes - I don't drive so have had to beg lifts and babysitters all week) ds1 started to look greener and greener in the back of the car, then started to say he felt really hot and sweaty. Raced into the carpark at the hospital, quickly got him out of the car and he was sick - lots. Couldn't take him into the hospital, so Mum had to sit on a bench with him and try to call dh, while I took dd to the fracture clinic. Fortunately the appointment was swift and easy so we were in and out in less than an hour. Dh hadn't left work by then so we just loaded ds1 back into the car, drove home and put him to bed.

THEN Saturday morning, dd got into our bed with us, rolled over and took her arm out of her cast! Called Mum to have the boys, but she was half way up the motorway to visit my GPs. Fortunately she turned around and came back and we were able to drop the boys with her while we went back to Paed A&E at the city hospital, where they put on a new backslab cast (above the elbow this time to stop her escaping from it). I now have to call the fracture clinic on Monday to arrange to take her back and have another fibreglass cast put on.

Fastforward to Saturday night - ds1, who had been absolutely fine since being sick at the hospital on Friday morning, was so sick everywhere in the middle of the night that we had to condemn his duvet, duvet cover, pillow and pillow case. Then first thing in the morning he had diarrhea all through his pjs (he is 8 and was understandably devastated/traumatised by this).

On top of that, dd hasn't slept properly since she broke her wrist, so I have hardly had a wink of sleep and then this morning one of the dogs came down with a severe ear infection!

What a week! Praying next week will be better - but then again that wouldn't be very hard would it?

moosemama · 19/09/2010 20:58

Do I win a prize for the biggest post ever on MN then? Blush Grin

MilkNoSugarPlease · 19/09/2010 21:18

:o yes

Hope your DS & DD are feeling better now!!

How on earth did she get her arm out the cast though!?

pinkthechaffinch · 19/09/2010 21:24

moosemama

you POOR thing! what a shockingly awful week

moosemama · 19/09/2010 21:25

Thank you. Grin What do I win? Wink

Dd sleeps on her stomach with her bottom in the air and her arms wedged under her tummy. She just lay down and then when she went to get up cast stayed where it was and her arm slipped out. Shock

Apparently its quite common. The lady that fitted the cast said they call them 'handbag' casts, as when they come off you just put them in your handbag and bring them back to A&E. Grin

They usually give them two 'escapes' before they fit an above-elbow cast, but as dd has got used to her above-elbow backslab cast now I think they'll probably replace it with an above-elbow fibreglass one now. I hope so anyway, it can take anything up to an hour to get to the hospital each time - longer if the traffic's bad.

thefirstmrsDeVere · 19/09/2010 21:29

Feckorama moose that would have just about finished me off! Well done for getting through it and I hope your little darlings patients are all better.

oosa no 'this pales in comparison' allowed on this thread Smile Your crappiness is just as worthy as anyone else's crappiness.

Rude OHs and DS Yep, I feel your pain CBW

pink I have had awful memory problems since losing DD. I find the more stressed I am about forgetting things the more I do forget. Its like I am so busy worrying the thing doesnt get lodged in my head. If you are worrying about going back to work this is probably contributing to your crap memory.
Its horrible isnt it? I used to feel like such a stupid flake. I am much better now but I do find writing things down really helps (doh!). I keep one of those shopping list pads next to my bed and in my bag. Write stuff down before you go to sleep .

auntie put that fag out!!! Grin

Milk you wont have fucked up the card.

Little can you phone and ask for a play specialist to be at your appointment. I have to do this with DS and it really helps.

OP posts:
moosemama · 19/09/2010 21:33

Loving the word Feckorama TFMDV. Grin

They are all asleep at the moment, so fingers (and everything else) crossed!

thefirstmrsDeVere · 19/09/2010 21:37

I just made it up. I am good at swearing Grin

OP posts:
Rindercella · 19/09/2010 22:10

Feckorama indeed Moose! Shock My God, your poor DC. And poor you. What an awful week you have had. That you can still Grin at the end of it is all credit to you Grin

Since my last posts my days have been remarkably good, so no whinging from me. I have found the most fantastic lady to help me out a couple of days a week (which I desperately, desperately need)...a sort of dynamic mother's help to help with the DDs and housework, keeping me sane, etc. I found her through such a strange, wonderful set of events I just think her coming here is fate and she is going to be a wonderful thing for my family.

Oh, and DD2 (who for the last 2 months has been a terrible sleeper) slept through until 9am on Saturday and then last night woke just once in the early hours. Tis a miracle as I was beginning to get desperate. Long may it last.

I don't know how much light there is at the end of my tunnel, but those two things alone have brightened my journey Smile

See, it is possible for me to write a post without whinging Grin

weirdbird · 19/09/2010 22:16

ok here goes

I am 41+1 weeks pregnant and there is no sign of the baby arriving yet, they were not going to let me go over due, but they have, presumably because my normal midwife has not been at the last 2 appt.s

I have SPD and have not been able to walk without crutches or drive a car since the middle of July, I am meant to be having a baby that is at least 10lbs but could well be more.

Due to the SPD they do not recommend a epidural, but if I am induced, well then thats gonna be fun.

This is number 3 and definitely my last and I have always wanted a home water birth, with every pregnancy I have ended up in hosp due to complicated things going wrong (I really, really do suck at being pregnant)

My birth pool is sat waiting in the lounge and tonight is probably going to be the last night I could use it.

Am really stressed about the whole thing and just want the baby to come out, without being induced, so I can walk again (have even a small amount of a life back), is that an unreasonable thing to ask?

Rindercella · 19/09/2010 22:20

Weirdbird, not an unreasonable thing to ask at all.

Good luck Smile I look forward to reading your beautiful birth story shortly.

stampingmybigangryfeet · 19/09/2010 22:29

I am stressed because ds has had two awful meltdowns (ASD) in the past two days, today he kicked, hit, bit and pinched me. I didn't know how to deal with him as he rarely is aggressive towards me. We both ended up sitting crying in the park together telling each other how much we loved each other. I am scared that I don't know enough about ASD and his whole childhood will be ruined because I was too stupid to sort it all out.

I am stressed every day morning and afternoon at drop off and pick up time at school because ds hates it so much.

Dd (4) should be in Nursery but she doesn't want to go and we are happy at home together and I feel like everyone is judging me because she hasn't started yet.

My OU stuff has arrived and I should be excited but I am not because I think I will end up fucking this up like I do everything else.

My sisters dog has just been diagnosed with hip dysplacia. She is heart broken because she cant have kids and her dogs are like her children.

Loads more to but thats enough to be going on with I think.

moosemama · 19/09/2010 22:36

Thanks Rindercella. Believe me, its taken the whole day for me to reach Grining point.

I am working on the basis that surely that must be it for my family for a couple of months. Hopefully we have had our fill of illness and hospitals/doctors for a while and will breeze through the rest of the autumn without so much as a sniffle. Hmm Grin

Sounds like you are on the up now. Isn't it lovely when they finally start to sleep and you start to feel human again.

Weirdbird, definitely not unreasonable. I have been there with both the overdue baby and the spd, so you have my sincerest sympathy. Hope your baby decides to put in an appearance soon and you get that home water birth. Good luck. Smile

moosemama · 19/09/2010 22:45

Stampingmybigangryfeet. Have you been on the SN boards at all? Please don't feel alone in this, there are quite a few of us with dcs that have ASD on there and we would be happy to try and answer any questions you have. We have all been there with the meltdowns and school anxiety/stress and I for one have learned such a lot from the lovely people on the SN boards.

Also, try searching here for a local support group.

Sorry about the other things too.

Re your dd and nursery, not sure if it helps, but my Mum sent me a quote from Dr Seuss today that said "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind". Smile

stampingmybigangryfeet · 19/09/2010 22:57

Thanks moosemama, have been on the SN Boards. Thanks for that link will take a look that is something I have been thinking about very recently actually, how great it would be to meet people in a similar situation in RL. Your post was really kind, thank you.

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved · 19/09/2010 23:18

I am stressed because I was just getting used to posting on mumsnet and had shared very deep personal stuff... which was very important to me as I don't have anyone in rl to share with or support me. I have slowly been using mumsnet to reconnect with myself & whats really happening in my life, as am so used to lying/ telling people half truths .. including myself.

And now something has happened & i cant post it under my nickname and am really f*cked off about it.

My husband hit me [god, there, i said it, thats a big thing, can't believe it, really] & i am sure you'll think I am getting stressed about the wrong thing here, but am pissed off that i cant post about it, as everyone will scream leave him leave him leave him, change locks, dont let him near ds, call police. And then when I don't do what I should do posters will get angry & dismissive & then I won't be able to post anything at all. I am doing something about it, but it won't be enough & i cant bear the reactions.

So its back to the double life again and i was just starting to enjoy feeling whole again...

giraffesCantDanceInBrokenHeels · 19/09/2010 23:21

someone stole my mop