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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU or is dh a dickhead?

127 replies

Mowgli1970 · 10/09/2010 20:22

Dh got home before me, rang to see what to do for tea. I said pizza, potato and salad. Got home, he's cooked pizza and omelette so I asked where are the potatoes and salad? He replied he hadn't done them as he thought pizza and omelette would be enough. He got the pizza out of the oven, I said they're not quite cooked through. He flipped at this point, shouting that whenever he cooks I criticize him! Is it just me that thinks this is completely ott?!

OP posts:

HecateQueenOfWitches · 11/09/2010 18:31

no, you didn't. I just wanted to make clear what my point actually was, in case you thought I was being 'oh poor likkle man tried his best, don't be mad at him..."

thisisyesterday · 11/09/2010 19:31

argh, this is why the internet is such hard work sometimes isn'/t it? i think we should somehow use coloured font to convey our expression and tone pmsl

HecateQueenOfWitches · 11/09/2010 19:36

it is. were you chewing the keyboard in frustration?

thisisyesterday · 11/09/2010 19:40

it was more slapping myself to try and stop getting involved in yet another internet argument!
sadly, this is far less frustrating than real life right now

HecateQueenOfWitches · 11/09/2010 19:41

oh? why, what's up?

thisisyesterday · 11/09/2010 19:44

oh the usual, violent rude 5 yr olds, partners who undermine your authority (well, whatever is left of it), crying babies

have retreated to mumsnet where it may be more volatile, but at least i can turn it off!

HecateQueenOfWitches · 11/09/2010 19:48

bugger. Want to talk about it? offload? moan? yell a bit?

Can you settle down with a glass of wine and a bar of choc?

Serendippy · 11/09/2010 19:49

Can't believe you called us tits! YABU.

thisisyesterday · 11/09/2010 19:50

glass of wine? now why didn't i think of that??? lol

if you have any great ideas for stopping ds1 hurting his brothers i'd love to hear them

he is driving me crazy this week.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 11/09/2010 19:55

I suppose tying him up would be out of the question...

Has he only just started the beatings?

My 2 are 11 & 10 and are forever thumping each other but your others are quite little, aren't they? So not the same thing and can't apply my 'turn up the tv and only intervene if blood starts flowing down the stairs' approach

What about taking him for loooooooong walks and knackering the little begger out?

InmyheadIminParis · 11/09/2010 19:55

skidoodly arf at humble crumble. You just made me splurt.

thisisyesterday · 11/09/2010 20:01

wearing him out works to a certain extent, though tiredness is one of his triggers so it's double-sided

he's only 5, and his brohters are almost 3, and 1...

HecateQueenOfWitches · 11/09/2010 20:04

3 boys?

bloody hell.

Stock up on the plasters and ice packs

Very draining, isn't it? Are yours like mine? fight and scream and yet when you try to seperate them, they won't stay the hell away from each other?

thisisyesterday · 11/09/2010 20:07

younger 2 are mostly ok, and ds2 loves to play with ds1 when he gets the chance, which isn't often

ds1 just struggles with other people not doing things his way. and apparently he "had to hit him over the head because he moved this box"

we have suspicions about aspergers (not just because of this) but sometimes i think actually it's not that, we've just done a really shit job bringing him up.

he's trashed his bedroom after being taken up there to calm down. went up a moment ago thinking he must be asleep by now but no, he's wide awake- all sweetness and light!

HecateQueenOfWitches · 11/09/2010 20:09

I'm sure you haven't done a shit job.

Have you requested assessment?

thisisyesterday · 11/09/2010 20:12

yep saw GP who said speak to school
saw school who said "he's fine here... let's wait"
saw GP again who said she'd talk to school and would def back me for a referral
spoke to headteacher who said "he's fine here... let's wait"

now wondering if they have a point? if he's ok at school maybe it is just us? i dunno. i'm perfectly willing for them to assess him and say he's fine and we're doing a shit job tbh- as long as they follow it up with a "here's what to do to stop him" type thing!!!

thisisyesterday · 11/09/2010 20:13

oh and what did happen at Cleethorpes???

HecateQueenOfWitches · 11/09/2010 20:20

ds2 went round all day yelling

"naked"
"I'm naked"
"help me, I'm naked"
"naked"

which earned me some really funny looks from people who could see him and some quite alarmed reactions from people who could only hear a little boy yelling for help cos he was naked!!

thisisyesterday · 11/09/2010 20:21

ahh bless, at least there are funny sides to it all!!!

HecateQueenOfWitches · 11/09/2010 20:23

you don't need to go through school, you can request assessment yourself. Get gp to refer you.

Have you had a meeting with the class teacher? made a list of all the areas of concern you have and asked her how he is in school in these areas.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 11/09/2010 20:28

well, it wasn't funny at the time!

It's certainly an interesting life

claims of nutidy (and actual nudity ) hunt the poo, paint with poo (them, not me! ), phrases repeated so often we actually composed a song can't remember all of it now, but it ended "bum chikka wow wow 2" and was basically a chant comprising all of their echolalic phrases.

I think I should find nt children quite dull by comparison.

thisisyesterday · 11/09/2010 20:29

well, we had problems with that because his reception teacher went off sick, so they had a supply for a while, then she came back but only for a week, then they had another supply teacher

this is why we went through the GP to start with, but the one I saw was totally unwilling to do anything. she said she needed to see him first

second GP was a lot nicer and listened to all my concerns, contacted school etc etc.
we had a meeting with the headteacher but she just said "well a lot of children do that" to every single thing we mentioned. which may or may not be true, but the fact that he displays so many of these things must count for something???

anyway, am busy re-writing a list to take back to the GP and see if she will refer us herself as school dont' seem to want to

school seem to think that as long as he behaves there then it isn't an issue

HecateQueenOfWitches · 11/09/2010 20:32

then it's not a good school because they should be working with you and listening to your concerns and looking at the whole picture, and it doesn't hurt to have an assessment.

I don't know why so many of them are resistant. It's like they think assessment gives you autism.

thisisyesterday · 11/09/2010 20:34

i assumed it was fear of having to provide extra help for him, or some other sort of financial issue. no idea tho

HecateQueenOfWitches · 11/09/2010 20:37

dunno, because if they're statemented, they come with shedloads of money! My 2 both have statements and the lea funds their hours. School puts bog all in.

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