to think this is normal motherhood?

[foreverastudent]

AIBU to think that feeling tired, moody, irritable, tearful, lonely, guilty, sore, tense, unable to cope, overwhelmed and trapped, along with having difficulty eating, sleeping, getting out, concentrating, motivating yourself and not wanting as much sex as before is

normal motherhood

and should be conquered by having better support systems in place, either provided by family, friends, community or the state

not

by boosting the profits of a company that made $5.49 billion in the 1st quarter of 2010.

what is the company you are talking about please?

ar you being all scientologist on our arses?

OP - I'd say that a lot, if not all of those feelings are experienced by women from a range of situations. In fact, I'm sure even women without children or men experience these feelings.

But, I agree with the rest, explain yourself and what company profits you're on about.

lol, so anyone whose experience doesn't bear out your conclusion is lying

I find this quite offensive, because vulnerable people read this stuff and you have no right to make them feel that taking medication if they need it is some sort of failure

you really are talking a load of crap

OP I think you're talking shite!

Don't get your point, sorry

I said it was society that is failing new Mums. I never said they were failures.

Mums who feel like this need help, I just think that social support is the help they need not pills.

what about people who aren't new mums, or mums at all, or even women. Is it ok for them to have the pills?

then you know precious little about mental illness, and nothing about post-natal depression

had you posted "let's campaign for better support for new mothers" nobody would have disagreed

but that is NOT what you were saying, and there is no point in trying to backpedal now

If you are asking whether it is normal to feel like that some of the time then YANBU esp if you have little or no help with the kids. The day to day drugery does get to you. Not sure what you mean about companies though.

I thought all those things were normal, which was why it took me so long to seek help.

You're not making your point very clearly. Perhaps try to bullet all relevant points in one post rather than drip-feeding your views?

have just read post about prozac - this is nothing new - in my mums day it was valium, gin before that.

OP, you should be ashamed of yourself!

Our society's version of 'support' is to tell Mums what they are doing is wrong, to pressurise them into doing too much to fulfill the image of the 'perfect Mum' and to punish them if they dont.

I'd like to see a radical overhaul of the way everyone supports new Mums.

eg neighbours and friends cooking and delivering meals, councils providing home helps (as was the case in the 60s and is still the case in France), longer and paid paternity leave, free childcare for older siblings, daily breastfeeding suport for as long as the mum wants, maternity pay at 100% so mums aren't rushed back to work, PTSD counselling after traumatic births, etc etc

I rarely swear on here, but FUCK OFF! My depression is caused by a chemical imbalance - as is many peoples - and triggered by many thing, childbirth being one of them.

Do you begrudge a diabetic their insulin and blame the confectionery companies?

ironically the only person on this thread making mothers feel like shit is you, OP

Dam I wish I'd known that when I was so psychotic that I didn't even remember giving birth to my DD and sat sobbing in the hall begging my DH to kill me.

When they finally carted me off to hosptial and gave me pills that have ultimately saved my life and prevented my DC from growing up without a mother I should have refused them and just asked for a littel support!!!

How bloody insulting! My dh nearly had a bloody nervous breakdown supporting me and keeping our family together

Fuck off.

If I hadn't have been put on ADs I would be dead.

And you're making a right twat of yourself if your supposedly on here to tell people that they should get more support, whilst at the same time saying that they're making a fuss over "normality" if they're taking Prozac...

In fact I can't even be bothered to tell you how ridiculous you're being. Piss off.

I have lots of social support but I still got PND.

I agree that it would be great to have more support for mums that need it, whatever form that support may take.

However, in my case, I don't think any of the things you're talking about would have actually stopped me from suffering from PND.

I was lucky to get good quality counselling quickly which helped. It also helped me identify that the reasons for the PND, aside from being partly physical, were very complex and rooted in past events which I don't want to go into here.

Beertricks, then perhaps you go on ADs. Perhaps the OP is just saying that ADs are handed out too easily. OBVIOUSLY there are plenty of people who need them due to chemical imbalances, but perhaps with a bit of counselling and support SOME people wouldn't have to take them. I think the OP is furthering her argument by stating that sinister forces are at work via pharmaceutical companies trading on NHS lack of funding. I don't know.

OP. YABU to think that is normal motherhood. I have experienced that and it was horrible (are you?). I have A LOT of support, genuinely, from friends and family (though medical support a bit pants). I 'caved in' to pills and I can honestly say it changed my life and my parenting, despite a low dose. I don't know who says they don't work. I believe they don't always, but the first ones I tried worked wonders.

There is no need to feel awful just so you can have lofty principles and not boost some pharmaceutical comapany's profits. I care about my family, and I was being a lousy wife and a miserable, impatient, shouty mother before.

More support always good. But it's not going to get rid of PND or plain, old D (don't know what I have to be honest, and I don't care, it's horrible).

I'm not sure why so many people are getting so cross about this - I thought that the point being made was that too many people who do not need prozac are being prescribed it (which I agree with - it appears to be handed out like smarties at many practices) when actually more listening and support would be better. However in some cases some sort of chemical intervention is undoubtedly needed.