To worry that opting out of the inane fakery at the school gates will have neg effects for the dc?

[MilaMae]

I find the face splitting smiles at just about everybody,the animated discussions over buggar all and the consistent working of the social circuit exhausting(and a tad annoying as it's so obviously fake) just to watch so don't really partake.

I'm quite fussy and have a few lovely friends,not hoards but just a few. I'm 42 and time is precious so just haven't the patience to smooze with people I find boring just because it's the school social circuit. As a result I just chat to people I find interesting and I like. I'm always polite but don't do the frantic waving,laughing and socialising with masses of mums anymore.

I only ever arrange playdates if my dc beg or we have to reciprocate. I've noticed quite a few mums invite hoards and kind of try to maniplulate kids into relationships iykwim.

My kids are happy(they have a small smattering of friends at school and outside they like and seem normal relationshipwise),I'm happy but worry I could be making them anti-social. Also worried that later on(oldest Y2)they'll wish I'd made more of an effort on their behalf.

Is the done thing these days to have a huge social circuit? Do most mums just put up with the endless socialising or are they like me and just refuse to be ultra friendly with people they regard as fake or errrr just don't like? Should I be making more of an effort?

TIA

Really odd thread....

Mila Do you want to know if your DC will be able to make friends without your intervention? Some people might say that they might do a better job.

FWIW I'm trying really hard to stay out of it for littlemad simply because the people I might wish him to be friends with/or not at school might well be based on my own judgements not his and to be perfectly honest I got 2 Mums from playgroup the wrong way round - thought I would end up great friends with one as she was more my type and not get on with the other, but the one I thought was nice is actually not very and her daughter isn't someone I'd like to have in my house and the other one has turned out to be a friend.

I volunteer on PFTA stuff when I can because if they're asking for help they must need it and as long as it's not 'sticking and gluing and making stuff pretty' I'm fine with stuff.

Still thinking asking if you 'ought' to make friends with people you don't like is about the oddest thing I've ever heard from someone who claims to be confident.

Sorry if that's harsh.

Smiling, saying hello, being friendly and interested in others represent good manners. Not bothering with people you find boring is unbelievably bad mannered. How very horrid and at the end of the day if you don't teach your children to treat other people with respect whether they are boring, beautiful, intellectual or plain ordinary, yes they will suffer because they will grow up to be ill mannered and socially incompetent and will not fulfil their potential. It costs nothing to be pleasant to other people and to show a little interest. One day you might need their help and support.