For being really embarrassed by DP's aggression yesterday?

[AufDerMaur]

Yesterday DP and I were sat in the car, on the driveway waiting to leave. The dustbin cart pulled up in front of the house and the men busied themselves emptying the bins down our street. So DP took the opportunity to sit playing with the sat nav.
Then he looked up and said "I bet they leave the bin right in the middle of the driveway blocking us in, if they do, I'll kick off".
I ignored this. Then the bin man pushed the bin in front of the house and walked off (in front of the car but TBF, I don't think he realised anyone was IN the car). Anyway DP bibbed the horn, the bin man looked across, realised his error and walked back over to the bin to move it. DP then shouted "yeah thats right, right in the middle of the fucking drive way, you can see I was waiting to get out, fucking tosser" He then revved the engine and shot the car forward towards the bin man (but stopped it again before it caused the poor bloke any real concern)

I was so embarrassed and couldn't even look the binman in the eyes.

Its not the first time he's done something similar but it really, really embarrassed me. He's also got a habit of speeding up if someone crosses the road in front of him. For instance a group of teenagers walked out into the road, acted a bit cocky like they do, refusing to rush etc and DP actually speeded up the car and missed them by inches. One day he WILL hit someone, I'm sure of it. He also speeds up towards cars that pull in front of him too.

Ok I know I'm not being unreasonable to be against his behaviour but he acts like I'm having a go at him if I say anything and says I'm trying to cause arguments.

One time we were driving along and a young kid came flying across the road on a bike, barely looked for cars but he was only about 11. Anyway DP shouted "look at that fucking dickhead" - then the bike's front wheel got stuck in a grate and the kid went flying over the handlebars, headfirst onto the concrete, smacked his face on the pavement and blatently broke his arm. He was crying out in agony, everyone who saw it went running over to help, I was mortified and wanted to see if he was ok - DP shouted "HA HA! nice one! serves him right, that does"

Nice.
Sounds like my ex - I left him.

YANBU He sounds like an unpleasant person and I wouldn't be surprised if his attitude gets him into trouble one day.

What a charmer.

Well I've actually said to him "one day you'll piss off the wrong person and get punched" and he replies with "and I'd fucking punch them" but he wouldn't!!! he's all mouth, if anyone confronted him, he'd shit himself. He'll only pick on people from the safety of the car.

What?

How vile. Sorry you have to deal with this sort of thing regularly.

I wouldn't get in the car with him!
I'm a very nervous passanger at the best of times though
Does his aggression spill into other areas of life?

I still think about that young lad. He looked a lot like my DS, skinny, skater dude with long blonde hair. It makes me sick to think of my DS lying on a pavement bleeding and screaming and some adult sat there laughing from his car

I think you know the answer don't you.

I wouldn't just be embarrassed, I'd be mortified and very angry.

He sounds a thug
I couldn't live with someone that mean
that poor 11year old boy

what a lovely person he sounds (not).

No wonder you couldn't look at the bin man i'd have been mortified too, don't think an anger management course would go amiss with him

He sounds like a monster. Does he have any positive aspects? Are your DC witnessing this behaviour? Poor you.

How does he treat you? I don't like the sound of him at all - big anger issues there. Poor you.

Nice For what it's worth, no I don't think YABU. TBH, I'd be seriously worried if DH was behaving like this. Is he usually that aggressive?

He's quite cowardly to be honest. I remember once his boss came around and had a go at him about something and he stood there stuttering and turning bright red. He won't have a go at anyone who he thinks can retaliate. Like the time he almost knocked the gang of teenagers over, they shouted stuff at the car and then we got stuck at a bloody traffic light and DP was panicking like mad. And if they had have decided to gang up on us, I wouldv'e been beaten up too probably.

sounds like my ex too...

also,my eldest 2 remember their dad behaving in this manner,and actually quoted,to the courts, this road rage as a reason they didnt want anymore contact with him. not the only reason,but one of them,as it was so embarassing for them. An embarassing parent who seems to look for these opportunities was not something they wanted their friends or anyone they knew,to witness

Sorry, he laughed when an 11 year old had a bike accident and badly hurt himself?

Jesus.

I think you need to tell him he is acting like an *rsehole and that you don't like him at all when he is like that, in fact it makes you wonder what sort of a person you are with. I wouldn't dress it up as being worried someone else will react badly - tell him straight that YOU don't like him when he acts like that.

Don't be afraid to call him on his bad behaviour. So he'll tell you you're having a go at him and trying to start an argument? Well yes, he's right, you ARE having a go at him, and with good reason. There's nothing wrong with having a go at someone if they are doing something that is clearly vile.

Good luck.

As well as you witnessing his delightful behaviour, your son(s) will see it too. Don't let them model themselves on him please.
Does he have any redeeming features at all?
Don't be surprised to find your bins either not collected or rubbish strewn all over your drive next bin day.

He's a tosser from the sound of it with serious anger management issues. He needs help before he meets his match one day and it won't be pretty.

YANBU

Is he like that most of the time? What are positive bits in your relationship. He sounds like a bully.

Look, men like this always, sooner or later, turn the aggression on their wives and girlfriends. This knob thinks he's more important than anyone else in the world (but underneath it all is terrified that he is an insignificant loser with a small dick, probably because he is).
ONe of these days you will laugh at the wrong moment, or not have his tea ready on time, or put a red bra in with his white shirt and stain it, and he will start calling you a cunt, and if you tell him not to speak to you like that, he will punch you in the face and then tell you it's your own fault for winding him up.

Do you have children with him? Do you actually live together (You say DP but it's not clear how long you have been together etc)?
Can you just tell him to fuck off once and for all?

Does he have a very small willy?

Seriously though, I could not put up with that. He obviously has huge self-esteem issues which have turned outward rather than inward in the usual typically female way.

XPost with a few other people. He will start hitting you OP as you are smaller and weaker than him and won't hit him back. Anger like this escalates, but anger coupled with a vile mean-minded spiteful nature is particularly dangerous as it is ony unleashed on those unlikely to fight back. This is the sort of man who will bully and abuse your DC too for 'cheek' or 'disobedience'.

He sounds like a complete tosser - bet he also revs engine at zebra crossing as well?

Maybe a good punch would do him good...?

Why are you with him? He sounds hideous