to think this woman is either badly organised or bone idle?

[Rosieeo]

My eldest went back to school yesterday, to reception class. She attended the nursery last year. A woman whose eldest child is in the year above my DC was complaining to us at the gates.

Last year this woman, who has three DC, was consistently late for school. At the earliest running up as the bell went (fair enough) but more often than not 10-15 minutes late. In the end the school gave her a bollocking (they're very hot on timekeeping), wrote to her, had meetings, but it never made a lot of difference.

Yesterday (first day) they were just over 5 minutes late and she said that the teacher had already pulled her up on her timekeeping. She felt that the teacher was out of order and that no one appreciated how difficult it was to get to school for 8.50am with three DC. Her younger ones are about 3 and 1.

I don't have a lot of sympathy, I'm afraid. I know it can be difficult and frustrating getting out of the house in the morning, I honestly do! Plus, I only have two kids. But at the risk of sounding like Miss Smug, I have NO problems getting to school for 8.50am (we're normally up at 6.30/7am) and when I have to be at work we're out the door at 7.45am. That's hard work, but still! This woman lives a ten minute walk from school and doesn't work. I'm not trying to start a SAHM/WOHM debate, just saying that she doesn't then have to get somewhere else.

I didn't say anything, because I don't really know her that well, but AIBU to think that she's either badly organised or bone idle and totally unfair to her son who gets into bother almost every day because of such bad timekeeping?

YABU. It's none of your business.

it's an odd addition to MN that's for sure, but I quite like it sometimes

Was it me ? I really didn't mean to be nasty. I was trying to say being nasty was not ok but then I was nasty as well. Oh well.. I really must hide this horrible topic.

No no no Mrs doof. I'm on your side too.

I like people being late. It adds a little bit of renegade to the mix.

I'm afraid I do judge parents who get their children to school late every day.

It disrupts the rest of the class and I feel sorry for the children.

I am pathologically punctual though so probably the wrong person to comment on lateness.

DH gets infuriated at my lets be half an hour early for everything mentality.

I should add we're never late either but I know people who are.

Schools are far too controlling as it is. They can't expect everyone to bow down at the altar of registration.

It's all bollocks really

flight.

I know what you mean sometimes, AIBU can feel really harsh. I get really upset about a Victoria Beckham AIBU some time back (sad but true).

Oh good so how do you hide a topic I have been to customise and then just got confused.

Did you getorf? I can understand that.

I would never dare start an aibu because frequently you know I am

I think you have to get up the entire list of topics and move each one over manually. It takes ages. If you only want a minority on view then move them ALL en bloc and shift a few back to visible.

Trace

I'm a bit at those who think the thread is nasty. I was simply pondering why the woman was late all the time (hence the title).

I suppose it is a bit judgy, but bad timekeeping is a problem isn't it? Although I don't think it's the case in this situation, constant lateness is a bit arrogant. The idea that it's ok for other people to wait for you is not acceptable either in work or school.

I certainly didn't expect to upset some posters so much or for them to 'take sides' (ooo er!)

As for the overweight comment, I see what your getting at but then people are very judgemental on that topic, aren't they? And it seems to be acceptable. I really don't get the don't judge thing.

I have one DS at home, and sometimes I am late for school. This is because I drive 30 miles in the middle of the night to take care of my MIL who has dementia.

I have a friend who is sometimes late because she can't get out of the toilet due to irritable bowel syndrome.

I am aware of another lady who works the night shift.

You don't know why she is late, you should not judge someone until you have walked in their shoes.

Yes, of course it's important that children get to school on time.

However I wonder what's behind this woman's behaviour. Maybe she suffers from depression (making it hard to get up) or social anxiety (and is avoiding meeting others at the school gates)?

These are treatable of course, but if these could be the cause, I'd suggest a bit of understanding/support would help more than judginess.

At our school, people who arrive late have the hell of a packed car park with no where to put their cars!
And this is just off a very busy road with no pavements so no way of parking on the road itself and most people come from miles around (rural).
Absolute nightmare! All because the council can't be bothered to install a 50yrd pavement and lights.

Thanks !

Well Rosie then you need to think about it.

How would you feel if someone posted something like this about you? It's very basic really.

Yes, true, maybe this poor woman is visited by Aliens at night and taken to the planet Zarg. I bet she's tired in all fairness ( and other spurious possibilities).

mamatomany hob gobsmackingly selfish you are - you are happy to disrupt the entire class because you can't be bothered to enforce some rules in your house and make your DD get out of bed. There's no can't when you are dealing with a 6 year old - pick her up. So you took her in her jammies once and it didn't help - do it again and again, lift her up, get her dressed, put her in the car - it's not difficult. FFS if you can't be arsed getting here there on time then HE and stop disrupting the other children and inconveniencing the teacher. As for doing two school runs so Little Miss 6 can do as she pleases

Rosieo I think you are right, but your OP did sound a bit smag, but I don't think you actually are. It's your business because she's spoken to you about it and even if she hadn't, MN would be a lot quieter if people were only to discuss things which were directly affecting them. Not sure why so many people have said 'it's not your business' tbh. I'm sure if she had any mitigating circumstances she would have been very vocal about them - she just needs to sort her shit out. IF there is any real issue, then she needs to talk to the school - if not, she needs to get there on time - end of - anything else is rude and unfair on the other children and the teacher. If she complains again - ask her if there are any 'mitigating circumstances' and if there aren't tell her to ask Santa for an alarm clock!

Off the top of my head, I can think of four families, who I know very well, who are always late.

I know they have no excuse, other than being disorganised

So, yes, sometimes there are extenuating circumstances and sometimes not.

In the op's case, we don't know but it does not change the fact that being late for school does disrupt the late child's as well as the whole class' morning.

I'm not sure that this thread has been particularly vicious, maybe it has just hit a few raw nerves?

Daft as for raw nerves I've been late about twice in 3 years, with ds. So no. I just hate officious, critical, uninformed comment.

MN is full of that

"How would you feel if someone posted something like this about you? It's very basic really."

Flightattendant, I'm aware that for whatever reason this thread has annoyed/upset you. I am under no illusions about whether or not my life and actions have been judged. Of course they have, that's human nature. If I were to read a thread like this about myself, it would be initially upsetting. I'd like to think that I would take on board the comments made, even if I didn't like them. If I decided they were wrong, I'd ignore them.

As many people have said, there are reasons for lateness and it can be a struggle. I understand that, and that many of the reasons aren't visible. I don't think it's the case here, but I'll accept that I may not know something relevant.