to resent getting grief because I work in a private school?

[fuschiagroan]

OK, realise that people may say I am being totally unreasonable.

Just about to start my first teaching job. It's in a private school. At a dinner party the other night, my friend (well, I've known her a long time but we're not that close) was making lots of digging little comments about the fact it was a private school. Other people were asking genuine questions about the job/school, not being snarky at all, like 'So what are class sizes like?'. When I answered, e.g. 'It's fifteen to a class at most' this friend went 'God!', wrinkling her nose, as though I'd just said they had a school society for strangling baby bunnies or something. She also made comments about 'privilege' and 'unfair' etc.

OK, I know of course that it is a very privileged environment, and the kids are incredibly lucky. But why does that make me a bad person for working there? If a job had come up in a good state school I would have been just as happy teaching there, but this was the school that offered me a job.

I just think, ffs, I'm not an arms dealer. There's really no need for her to criticise my choice of workplace just because it doesn't fit in with her faux-socialism.

By the way, she got her kid into a great state school by moving into the (expensive property) catchment area - not exactly something possible for all!

Exactly, mrc. There is a big enough spread in the state system that is enough for the idealogues to deal with for decades to come.

Libra, sorry that I wasn't born 11 years later.

Blame my parents.

...or even 21 years later, lol.

(it was pretty tough at the time).

We manage school fees for six children (or five, now that one is off to uni).

My doctor friends are all sending 2-3 children to independent schools, including boarding. At our age, they are now consultants and have been for at least five years.

MmeBlueberry my point is (which I am sure you are being deliberately obtuse about) is that actually it is more than "slight" luck and "strategic" choices that mean you are in the position you are able to afford to educate your child privately.

Starlight,

My son is going to university in central London and his student loan will pay for fees, his university-provided catered accommondation, and have a bit leftover. He has to fund lunches, weekend meals, transportation, books and entertainment. We will do what we need to but he is clear that he needs to do his bit. Being in central London, there are plenty of jobs. He is very responsible and will only come to us if genuinely desperate.

You have to be bright enough to have the academic success. Hardly rocket science.

MmeBlueberry I have academic sucess - a 1st from Oxford but could only afford to privately educate one child. The price I have to pay for caring about education and entering education. That seems to make me a lesser person.

it's ooooooobvious

just be wealthy, and then you can do as you please

anyone choosing not to be wealthy really has only themselves to blame -with a little effort and strategic planning everyone could be a solicitor or work in the city

(I am a leetle mystified by all the people choosing not to be rich- you'd almost think that it wasn't quite as simple as just deciding to be fabulously well to do)

Yes, starlight, he is studying engineering :)

My father was brought up in a horrible (his word not mine) estate, watering down soup to live and left school with no qualifications at 15. He was 'strategic' and worked very hard to send me to private school. This is the problem I have with people who consider it such a privelege of those born rich.

Myredcardigan - good point about the age you have children. I'd love them young but intend to wait until I can afford to give them the opportunities I want to give them.

durga,

if you have a first from Oxford and are not content financially, then you only have yourself to blame. There is no substitute for common sense

I was born into a very working class family, grew up on a very rough council estate and I left school at 16 with very few qualifications, got my first job at 16 and then managed to work my way up an organisation to be doing ok.
I also decided to wait until I was in my very late 30's before I had my child so I can now do more for him.

I don't subscribe to the view that because something isn't available for all then no one should have it.

Yes.

My DPs an academic - I think one of us has chosen the cash route and the other the stimulating route but I stand by it :) and together it works

My dad passed his 11+ but his parents could not afford for him to go to the grammar school, so he left school at 14 to do a trade. It took him another 20 years to work up to the point that would equate to where he would have been as a new graduate.

I was the youngest child in the family and he could finally afford school fees. He was gutted that he couldn't do the same for my three elder siblings. He was very scarred by his own educational opportunities and would have done anything legal to avoid poor educational outcomes.

Of my three elder siblings, only one has been successful economically. One is a total drain on society, and one is just bumping along the bottom echelons. Private schools work in my family.

in answer to the OP: yes, it's silly in a way, but people judge teachers at private schools in a way they don't judge e.g people that work as nurses in the private sector, or people that do generic ofice jobs for private companies instead of their local council...

In answer to the last couple of pages argument - what the...?

having money means you can get private education - hard work doesn't come into it.

Private schools don't ask parents to do a certain amount of work per term, do they? They send out bills instead. Nothing wrong with that, its just the way it is.

here are excellent schools in the state system, so money is not the only factor. it is undeniably a factor though.

Mme - he could be my father. He went to grammar school but had to work to help the family so left school really early and worked up career ladders, got involved with property and then, when he could afford it, had me. I have a great deal of respect for that and I think my private school really did a lot for me because I had a bit of a messed about childhood (mother died when I was 7) and without the small classes and individual attention I could have fallen at the wayside and not ended up at university.

yanbu. your friend has issues. of ocurse i believe every child has the right to a good education but i will be sending dd to a private school because i have that option. it doesnt make me a bad person - i'm not taking anything away from another child.

good luck with your new job x

Lequeen that's such a good story. I'm so proud of my father and of yours. He also inherited my lovely GD's brain (similar with Times crossword, apparently he was a bit of a crossword and mental arithmetic man) and worked exceptionally hard to get where he did. I intend to do the same for my DCs and will be damned if champagne socialists carrying a sack of potatoes on each shoulder criticise me for doing so.

Ha I was privately educated and even though I did a great degree (economics) I was dazzled by the bright lights of creativity and egotistical success, oh and doing something 'interesting'. Luckily I did get lucky, or was talented to earn some £.

But I am amazed that people were strategic at 16. I just chose the hardest, most academic subject I could think of at the best university with the oldest buildings and went on from there.

I am amazed at how little input I got re careers / earning capacity from either school or my (privately educated) parents!

It was almost as if we were too civilised to talk about money as a family. Silly really, I will be having words with the children re their choices.