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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not understand why people are so negative about red hair

223 replies

memoo · 04/09/2010 19:32

As my DD's hair grows it looks like she is going to be a red head.

She is only 11 months old and already we have had quite a few negative comments the latest being "at least she will be able to dye it when she gets older"

I just don't get it! why is having red hair looked upon as a bad thing? its just a hair colour FFS. And why do so many people think its ok to make jokes about redheads?

If a person makes an derogatory comment about a persons skin colour there is uproar but red heads seem to just be fair game

OP posts:
bumpypaws · 05/09/2010 17:33

DD has beautiful red hair, have only had one negative comment in her 8 months - unless you count all the middle ages people who seem to like calling her 'copper-nob' ?!! Two women said that to her yesterday!

lostinwales · 05/09/2010 17:43

When I was in the post labour ward with DS2 a woman was wheeled in with her new born daughter and the first thing she said was 'thank god for that I was so worried she'd be ginger'. You only have to look at my profile pic's to see why in the end I asked to be moved to a different bay (well that and her husband was also a complete twunt!)

On a more positive note, this month sees the 18th anniversary of my first sighting of my DH, with the Autumn sunshine streaming though his gloriously red hair. I grabbed my flatmate pointed and said 'I want THAT one!' Poor boy never stood a chance!

edam · 05/09/2010 18:01

Yes, I did say Celt was a disputed term!

ConfusedKiwi · 05/09/2010 18:09

My DH is a red head and it looks like my nearly 3 week old son will be too which is what I and my family were all hoping.

However, we are planning on moving back to NZ which certainly doesn't have the negativity towards this that Britain does.

I don't understand the attitude her at all... both DH and I were really offended when people commented during pregnancy how we must be hoping that baby wouldn't be ginger! I'm sure they wouldn't say this about any other physical characteristic but people seem to think it's okay as "it's just a joke".

plonker · 05/09/2010 18:32

Oh Memoo, I'm so jealous!!

I'm sure you remember my neice, she has the most glorious red hair! Its so beautiful and silky, just perfect!

My dd1 has gorgeous dark hair but when dd2 was born we were surprised to see that she was blonde - she had a really red cast to her hair so I really hoped she'd have red hair, but unfortunately it went brown (or that apparantly awful boring mousy colour if you read lots of this thread Hmm)

Dd3 was the same, born blonde but with a really red cast which again, unfortunately is just turning light brown. Gutted!

Your dd is absolutely beautiful and will look stunning with any colour hair ...especially red! Smile

As for folk who take the piss, well, people can be horrible (especially kids!) and will always find something to pick on others about Sad
Just shows their ignorance and knobheadishness (and if that's not a word, it should be! Wink)

bumpypaws · 05/09/2010 19:20

Middle aged, not middle ages! Blush

funtimewincies · 05/09/2010 19:38

Ds2 (nearly 9 months) is already brightly ginger. Neither dh or myself are, but close family members on both sides are/were a similar shade.

I've been really shocked at some of the 'never mind' type comments from people (mostly older women) when we're out and about.

I think that it really suits him and he's certainly distinctive Grin.

Original poster
memoo · 05/09/2010 19:38

I do remember your niece plonker and her beautiful red hair! And all your girls are absoultly gorgeous too, red hair or not!

After reading everyones posts I'm actually really glad DD is a red head! Think it will suit her personalty too

Kiwi I am [shocked] that people would say that to you when you were pregnant, how bloody rude

OP posts:
SkaterGrrrrl · 05/09/2010 19:45

YANBU. The UK is the only country I have lived in where red hair is seen negatively.

I assume its based on racism towards Scottish and Irish people?

spiderlight · 05/09/2010 19:50

My 3-year-old has the most gorgeous wavy red-blond hair, and we're absolutely not allowed to call it strawberry blonde - he is very vociferous in insisting that it's ginger. It attracts quite a lot of attention but we've not had any negative comments yet, thank goodness. He has quite a big personality, so I don't think he'll have too much grief over it - I hope not, anyway.

huddspur · 05/09/2010 20:43

My DB (10) has red hair and he hates but I think its nice and it suits him but he has been teased about it in the past and I think this has built a negative opinion in his mind.

Conundrumish · 05/09/2010 20:50

I don't have red hair and nor do my DH or children - but I also think they must be really stupid and rather ignorant.

I've always been intrigued as to why you often see red headed people partnered with other red headed people though - can anyone explain?

101damnations · 05/09/2010 20:59

My lucky red headed friend didn't go grey,tshe went ash blonde as she got older instead.

Am seriously thinking about dying my hair again after reading this thread,a green eyed redhead is far more unusual than a green eyed brunette.

DreamTeamGirl · 05/09/2010 21:06

Going back to read properly, but thank you for the kind words about my boy, The only male ginger role models were Paul Scholes & Nicky Butt... Need a new one or two.

and BoF she is SO SO pretty. I bet she gets out of louds of trouble through it!!

DreamTeamGirl · 05/09/2010 21:08

LostinWales Do all three of them have a 'touch of the auburn about them' (as my friend's aunt I think it was put it!)? Or just the littler two?
Cute as anything anyway!!

jollyma · 05/09/2010 21:21

Ds2, 17 months, is not only red but has really tight curls. He gets so much attention usually the following three statements and questions in the following order: wow, look at his hair! Isn't it unusual/gorgeous! Where did it come from?

I think you can quite safely substitute 'horrendous' for unusual. I also find it funny that people won't say ginger until you do for fear of offending despite being complete strangers and approaching me to discuss my Childs hair Grin.

SarfEasticated · 05/09/2010 21:38

I have red hair and brown eyes, our plumber calls it "Royal colouring' after Elizabeth 1st.

I grew up hating my hair colour, but love it now, I like to think that threads like this will go a long way to make people realise how hurtful anti-red gibes are.

plonker · 05/09/2010 21:53

Ahh thank you memoo Smile Smile

pinkpanettone Sun 05-Sep-10 20:50:56
"I've always been intrigued as to why you often see red headed people partnered with other red headed people though - can anyone explain?"

This isn't my experience at all Confused

shells2 · 05/09/2010 22:04

Jollyma - that is exactly my experience with DS - she is 3 with bright red curly hair and brown eyes and that is just what strangers seem to say to us everywhere we go as if they are commiserating...

She loves it though. We have always called it "red hair" and not ginger but she recently came home from nursery saying everyone says its not red but orange

Ds thinks she has hair like Princess Ariel and likes to spot others with the same hair as her.

And yes it has skipped 2 generations on both sides - what do people expect you to say when they ask you where it came from????:)

JaynieB · 05/09/2010 22:06

DD has glorious red hair and almost every time we are out someone comments on how lovely it it.
Good job really as I would probably lamp anyone expressing any other opinion.

shells2 · 05/09/2010 22:26

sorry did i say DS? meant DD. all new.

Jacanne · 05/09/2010 22:50

My 4 month dd has definite signs of red hair - we call her the ginger ninja. Actually so far I have only had positive comments about what a lovely colour her hair is. I do remember though being horribly tease at school for my hair colour and it wasn't even terribly ginger. I love the true red, that gorgeous stong colour that is quite rare.

Jacanne · 05/09/2010 22:54

Another upside of being ginger - I am 40 and don't have a single grey hair.

InMyPrime · 05/09/2010 23:23

YANBU at all, OP. I have to assume you're living in England, given your experiences? The anti-redhead obsession only seems to exist in England. In North America / Ireland / Scotland / the Continent / everywhere else as far as I'm aware, red hair is only ever seen positively, especially for girls, or just neutrally like any other hair colour.

I've got red hair and I've always been very proud of it and never had anything but compliments growing up. Most friends with the usual mousey-brown shade of hair admired my hair because it was so distinctive. American relatives were always really complimentary. I really don't get why anyone would be negative about red hair. DH and I are hoping if we have a daughter, she'll take after me and if she does and anyone dreamed of saying anything negative (less likely since I live in Scotland) then I'd be fuming too. In fact, that reminds me - as a kid the only redhead stereotype I ever came across was that we redheads are very short-tempered. People would tease me saying, 'we'd better be careful, you redheads have a terrible temper!'. I used to always agree and say 'yes, so you'd better watch out and not get on my bad side!' Grin

gingerkirsty · 05/09/2010 23:49

I have reclaimed the term Ginger so it is no longer applicable as an insult! Had lots of grief on the school bus, particularly, as a kid but love love love my hair now and really hope DD turns out to be a redhead when she grows a bit more hair - could go either way at the moment!