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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not understand why people are so negative about red hair

223 replies

memoo · 04/09/2010 19:32

As my DD's hair grows it looks like she is going to be a red head.

She is only 11 months old and already we have had quite a few negative comments the latest being "at least she will be able to dye it when she gets older"

I just don't get it! why is having red hair looked upon as a bad thing? its just a hair colour FFS. And why do so many people think its ok to make jokes about redheads?

If a person makes an derogatory comment about a persons skin colour there is uproar but red heads seem to just be fair game

OP posts:
ASecretLemonadeDrinker · 04/09/2010 20:09

I love love love red hair! Mine has red tones (esp. when I wear green) but I am going to get it dyed more red in a month or so Grin Red is so beautiful... I keep staring at that tres semme woman on the adverts, she is so gorgeous.

bouncingblueberries · 04/09/2010 20:11

yanbu

My ginger hair matured to auburn and is now dark auburn Sad in fact, some people mistake me for a mere brunette Sad

Wish I was still bright auburn.

ds1 has beautiful strawberry blonde hair and it looks like ds2 will too.

PommePoire · 04/09/2010 20:11

I am the delighted parent of a beautiful red head; the only red head in our immediate family. DH and I both worry that ignorant fools might one day make her question her current position, which is to be proud of her beautiful colouring.

When I was pregnant, teaching in a secondary school, a (15 year old) student in my class asked me if I would drown the baby if it were 'born a ginger.' She thought this was hilariously funny, particularly, as she was sitting next to a red headed boy. I remember the flash of resignation in his eyes; he'd heard it all before, poor lad.

I really think there is one thing that everyone can do to help reduce the mindless negativity towards children and adults with red hair and that is never to refer to them as 'ginger.' The word is nearly always used pejoratively, as a term of abuse. I never, ever say it myself, even jokingly.

jabberwocky · 04/09/2010 20:12

ragged, it must be a British thing. I had never heard of it until reading threads on MN. As letsblowthistacostand says, in the US red hair is considered very beautiful and I wish one of mine had it. My brother had gorgeous red hair as a child but it's darker now :( Since it runs so strongly in my family I am hoping one of my nieces will have it (twins due in Ocober!).

HeavenForfend · 04/09/2010 20:13

Dd2 has beautiful Pre-Raphaelite coppery curls and we have never, ever had anything but positive comments on it.

She is one of five redheads in her class - so no chance of anti-ginger bullying there,I would hope Smile.

sprogger · 04/09/2010 20:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ItWasADarkAndStormyNight · 04/09/2010 20:22

I'm a redhead, had a rotten time at school but have only had positive experiences since then. Men love it and all the people who made my life hell are now dyeing their hair red! So as your dd gets older you can tell her that being a redheaded woman is great!
Yay!

teaandcakeplease · 04/09/2010 20:23

My DD when born looked like she was going to be a red too, alas not except it looks auburn in the sun as well. I was gutted.

YANBU red hair is beautiful. Hoping the negative comment about being able to dye it was from a random person and not a friend Hmm

MrsC2010 · 04/09/2010 20:24

I don't get it either. I have two very good friends with the most vibrant red hair, it is really stunning. One is more 'orange' and the other is more a dark strawberry red...with their colouring myself and our less 'unusual' friends have always been rather jealous!

whomovedmychocolate · 04/09/2010 20:25

As a natural mousey brown hair person I would love to have red hair, frankly and those who don't like it are, what's the word, oh yes twunts. :)

Northernlurker · 04/09/2010 20:28

My friend's 1 yr old dd has the most beautiful red hair. Apparently people have told her not to worry as she'll grow out of it! My friend is a better person than me - I would have flattened anybody who said that to me.

ItWasADarkAndStormyNight · 04/09/2010 20:39

Also ime girls with red hair have a much easier time then boys, it's really :(

MadAboutQuavers · 04/09/2010 20:45

If anyone else says anything negative just ask "Are you usually this rude, or is it a skill you've honed over time?"

I had a bit of negative attention up to being a teenager, but since then having red hair has only made me feel more gorgeous Grin .

And the attention I've had from men about my hair has been more than positive - it's bordered on devotion.

Trust me, your DD will love having red hair Grin

snowmama · 04/09/2010 20:54

YANBU ... I love red hair. I have never understood why it is something people feel they can be so casually rude about..and why it is seen in a negative light in the first place.

I think both men and women look great.

I would so love to have ginger/red hair. However, being mixed race it was always unlikely (although I have seen some spectacular and fabulous exceptions to the rule!)

bulby · 04/09/2010 21:05

My red headed friend went grey in the most amazing way, her hair went through the most gorgeous shades of peach until it eventually went White, my greying dark brown hair looks shit! Slightly off the track but I am soo jealous of her (and I now have to spend a small fortune covering my 'natural streaks')

mollycuddles · 04/09/2010 21:07

My ds who is 12 has rich, auburn hair. He does get hassle at school unfortunately but I love it. I am utterly delighted that dd2 born 3 months ago also has red hair. Neither me nor dh do! Although I've been dyeing mine shades of red for nearly 20 years and everyone now thinks it's my natural colour and the dcs have inherited it from me. I don't correct them!

OP - definitely YANBU

BitOfFun · 04/09/2010 21:15

My dd2 has the most beautiful red hair. It makes her a local celebrity, and it's very easy to find her if she absconds as she is wont to do (she has autism). A lady once brought her home having found her in the freezer of the corner shop helping herself to cornettos HmmGrin

She is on my profile if you care to admire- it always cheers me right up Wink

marram · 04/09/2010 21:17

When I was in the hospital just having had my beautiful red haired DD (born with huge amounts of red hair) the stoopid girl across from me was phoning all her pals and saying "Yeah, it's a boy, he's a ginger....nah only joking" and cackling really evily. Grrr.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 04/09/2010 21:19

No idea. I love red hair. I dye mine auburn. I really wanted my kids to be red heads (it runs in my family). I wanted them to have my husband's black skin, with my family's red hair and green eyes.

I love red hair. I think it's because it's not as common as blonde or brunette.

inveteratenamechanger · 04/09/2010 21:21

BoF, your daughter is stunning!

I have red hair and love it. Completely agree about the term 'ginger' - it is foul and I never use it.

marram · 04/09/2010 21:24

Don't mind being called ginger when pronounced properly, absolutely hate it when people say the bad version that rhymes with minger

lovingthesun · 04/09/2010 21:29

because they are jealous? ignorant ?

Red hair is just beautiful. I saw a young (11ish) girl at the park the other day & she had shoulder length hair, pulled to one side with a clip...she was stunning..I wished I've gone & told her.

Original poster
memoo · 04/09/2010 21:32

Bof, you DD is beautiful!

OP posts:
spler · 04/09/2010 21:33

Never understood it either. Maybe it's one of those things where people don't mind taking a rise out of someone because they know it's not really a bad attribute? eg. People will openly tease a petite woman but stay quiet about a large one.
Another one who thinks red is particularly attractive.
That Little Britain sketch was brilliant though!

AmpleBosom · 04/09/2010 21:34

My DS has gorgeous dark red hair and a cheeky nature to go with it, it amazes me how many people stop me when we're out to comment on it - sometimes good, sometimes bad.

I think he will just slap them have the strength of character to deal with anybody in the future who tries to bully him about it Grin