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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not understand why people are so negative about red hair

223 replies

memoo · 04/09/2010 19:32

As my DD's hair grows it looks like she is going to be a red head.

She is only 11 months old and already we have had quite a few negative comments the latest being "at least she will be able to dye it when she gets older"

I just don't get it! why is having red hair looked upon as a bad thing? its just a hair colour FFS. And why do so many people think its ok to make jokes about redheads?

If a person makes an derogatory comment about a persons skin colour there is uproar but red heads seem to just be fair game

OP posts:
catherinedenerve · 05/09/2010 05:50

YANBU, it's not ok.

People are just jealous because it's gorgeous. And exclusive. You can fake being blond or dark, but you can't fake being a redhead.
(I am not a redhead.)

If we're all giving our opinions about physical attributes, then it's completely legitimate for you to say something like; "Yes, well, at least she doesn't have, you know, huge ears/really short legs/a great big hooter/etc. HaHaHa! Now, that would be bad!"
All in good humour of course.

thetraveller · 05/09/2010 07:14

YA so NBU. DS is 14 months now with beautiful red hair. The comments that have really hurt have been the ones from family. Gems include:

MIL (at hospital on day of birth of her first grandchild): he can't possibly be a Miller (DP's family name) with hair that colour .
MIL (2 months later): Oh, look at all that ginger hair. He's going to get a lot of stick.
Sister (when asked, on meeting her nephew for first time, what she thought of him): well, he's very ginger.
BIL (responding to another family member saying DS was beautiful): No he's not, he's ginger.
DM: Of course, he's not a red-head, he's strawberry blond. Your cousin's new baby has hair which is the most horrendous red colour. Completely different from my darling grandson Hmm

All very hurtful and I dread what's ahead for DS at school and beyond if this is the sort of thing we get from family.

I get a bit Hmm at people, including on this thread, who say red hair is great, especially on girls, the implication being that it's really not so great on boys.

Lurve · 05/09/2010 07:39

This guy isn't helping!!!

NSFW-Swearing

fernie3 · 05/09/2010 07:50

If it makes you feel any better I have really bright red hair and in my whole life have never had any negative comments at all. Two of my four children also have read hair and again nothing but positive comments in fact not long ago I had a bus full of old ladies cooing over my 18 months old hair. Maybe i just dont notice the negative comments Grin

Bonsoir · 05/09/2010 08:05

I think red hair is often very beautiful, though, just like other hair colours, there are some shades and textures of red hair that are more beautiful than others.

I do think that red hair stands out a lot and that children haven't always developed a personality that is as strong and noticeable as their hair.

And, since red hair is so very noticeable, it really, really needs a great cut!

roundthebend4 · 05/09/2010 08:09

opps then bonsoir dont think i qulaify for the great cut mine is just long and most days is tied up

Though do think i might have the attitude a case of this is me and if you dont like it dont let teh door hit you on the way out

Op honestly ignore them i have teh freckles that go with it

Oh and i second in the states they love it that and the brit accent I had a ball

HowsTheSerenity · 05/09/2010 08:10

Has anyone had a hairdresser try and change thier hair though without them asking? I have auburn-y hair and the stylists are always trying to make me blonde. I had my hair done yesterday and again it is quite blonde rather then the copper highlights I want.

Is it some kind of guerilla hair warfare I know nothing about??

Redheads strike back

Ronaldinhio · 05/09/2010 08:58

a ginger whinger thread....

Ginger4justice · 05/09/2010 09:23

I'm ginger, although it's going darker as I get older, and I love it.

Yes there are a few idiots who take the mickey, but lots of people say nice things about the colour quite often. It's great being slightly different and such a huge part of my identity. I find it quite sad when people dye their hair from ginger, as I'm really sad mines going brown and might have to resort to dyeing it back ginger.

I did get a few comments at school but no more than other people about other things. I think kids always find something to tease and if its not hair colour it'll be something else. For example my sister, whose not ginger, got as many teases for our last name, despite it being really common, it just makes lots of good rhymes. I certainly dont think being ginger means your more likely to have serious mickey taking or bullying at school, it's just non-ginger people's expectation but not actually true.

MrsSaxon · 05/09/2010 09:38

I don't think it is just an English thing. My MIL is German and was horrified when DH 1st started dating me as apparently "ed headed women are the children of satan"

Only the other day she told me she had taken a bracelet to be fixed, then returned to retrieve it as she didn't trust the chap in the shop as he had "ginger hair"

Original poster
memoo · 05/09/2010 09:39

Thanks for all the lovely positive posts Smile

Ginger, I think you're so right that kids always find something to tease about.

I'm going to teach my DD to love her red hair and wear it with pride

OP posts:
Original poster
memoo · 05/09/2010 09:40

Shock at your Mil MrSaxon!!

OP posts:
sarah293 · 05/09/2010 09:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

pigsinmud · 05/09/2010 09:49

Same as Riven, except my ginger ones are 10 (ds2) and 6 (dd1). No problems at all.

prozacfairy · 05/09/2010 09:52

YANBU

But then I would say that coz when I first clapped eyes on a friends baby my first comment was "OMG what gorgeous red hair he has!"

Red hair is lovely. I have a massive soft spot for redheads. Smile

PrettyFeckinVacant · 05/09/2010 09:54

Thanks to BOF and others for the nice comments - DD's love their hair and get lots of positive comments.

BTW BOF, your DD is lovely - I adore that colour - it can look so vibrant in the sun, can't it??

facebook · 05/09/2010 09:59

People really are idiots. U are of course absolutely NOT being unreasonable. My ds was sort of gingery blonde when he was a baby and even my family members were saying things like 'I am sure he'll grow out of it, at least he's not VERY ginger is he?' Almost trying to console me about my son having gingery hair! My sister actually said 'at least he doesn't have freckles aswell as ginger hair, now that would be tragic'. It irritates me even now that people said those things. He is now sandy blonde and all the red has gone since he turned 2 but it is so pathetic that people see a hair colour as something to judge u by.

Ephiny · 05/09/2010 10:02

I think it probably did originate as an anti-Celtic prejudice - it's a particularly English thing, isn't it? I don't think most people realise they're displaying this prejudice though, they're just ignorant and not thinking what they're saying. Very rude and potentially hurtful though.

CrunchyFrog · 05/09/2010 10:14

My two wee cousins have bright red ringlets, they are gorgeous boys. I am jealous! My smallest has a just a hint of strawberry in his curls.

But people pick on anything outside the "norm". My DS1 is startlingly white skinned and haired and people often remark on how he can't possibly be mine/ is funny looking/ gosh isn't he BLONDE (really? I hadn't noticed. Hmm)

JuneBugJr · 05/09/2010 10:15

I cant remember any particular aminosity towards kids with red hair when I was in school, maybe because Im from Wales, and there are a few more with that hair colour here. Infact the most popular boy in school was bright ginger, I think its probably all about the confidence of carrying such a striking colour off.

Red hair is gorgeous. When I was pregnant I used to dream of having a red haired girl who I would name 'Rose', even down to the colours I would dress her in, and how Id grow her hair long etc etc Blush.

People always pick up on something memoo. I cant believe they feel like they have to make a negative comment about it. Myself and DP usually have to put up with 'Milkman' comments as we are both very dark in colouring and DD is white blonde. People can be idiots.

Cloudbase · 05/09/2010 10:20

How unbelievably rude (and ignorant, bigoted, stupid, dumb etc etc). How dare they suggest she can dye her hair when she gets older!

If it helps, I have spent my entire adult life plastering my head in Henna so I can be a redhead - red hair is absolutely beautiful

Quattrocento · 05/09/2010 10:26

Love red hair, absolutely adore it.

But what do I know? I laughed at the Harry joke, even though it was clearly in v.bad taste.

Blottedcopybook · 05/09/2010 10:41

People are effing idiots and/or believe they're being stunningly original with "witty" comments about gingers. The vast majority have not exactly been blessed with jaw-dropping beauty either.

My DD has strawberry blonde and anyone who comments negatively on it is immediately marked out as a complete twat.

Jaybird37 · 05/09/2010 10:42

My nephew is militantly ginger. His hair is beautiful, but he has had to put up with his share of stick.

On his first day of secondary school some boys from the year above passed him in the corridor chanting ginger, ginger, ginger, to which he replied wanker, wanker, wanker...Blush.

corlan · 05/09/2010 11:32

I've heard the theory that the anti-ginger prejudice came from Judas having red hair but you don't need to look too hard to find that in many great works of art, Jesus himself is portrayed as ginger here, here and here

Jesus was ginger. I rest my case.