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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect a 20 month old to not run up and down constantly indoors?

132 replies

plagued · 04/09/2010 09:21

please help - i am being woken at 6 a.m. every morning by a little boy in the flat above me constantly running up and down a very long coridoor morning noon and night (often whilst screaming and squealing with delight!)
On weekends he old often has a little friend over to "play" so there's two of them running up and down and screaming.

I mentioned it to my neighbours and asked if there's anything they could do, including offering to pay half for some soundproofing or thick carpeting - but they have taken it badly and say they can't stop him from "playing".
It's a while since my kids were that age - please advise, do you think it's reasonable or unreasonable to expect a child of that age to be stopped from running up and down - constantly, as a game - indoors??
thank you

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 04/09/2010 15:02

I've moved my child's bedroom to the outrigger of out terraced house to minimise her noise for the neighbours. Am soon getting a vv expensive safespace to cut down noise further too. I appreciate not everybody wants or needs to go that far, but some people's lack of consideration for others is staggering. Constant noise disturbing your sleep is very very wearing.

knowittoowell · 04/09/2010 15:02

Oh FFS

YANBU

And i cannot believe the "if you don't like the noise in the flat move to the country house" brigade.If you played loud music,had friends around in the evenings and that made it difficult for their little darlings to get to sleep,they 'd be quick to jump.

Ignorant fucks.

It's your flat.You pay the rent/mortgage.You deserve your sleep as much as their toddler deserves their morning run.
Go and complain.And deffinitely contact the management company.Look into a lease agreement,and the wooden/laminate flooring issue.

Good luck.

And Angry for you

muggglewump · 04/09/2010 15:09

YANBU, it would drive me bonkers. My next door neighbour has three boys (8,7,4) and whilst I don't expect silence, and their noise doesn't bother me during the day, it would at 6am.
Their Mum, though a tad odd is considerate about noise though, as am I and I'm regularly up till the early hours, but have the TV on low, tread quietly on the stairs, no hoovering after 9 etc.

I think you were very reasonable to offer to pay half the costs of soundproofing/carpets. Even if they're not keen on carpet surely they could have it down for a couple of years until the child has calmed down a bit.

thesecondcoming · 04/09/2010 15:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PlanetEarth · 04/09/2010 15:13

All you people with toddlers who think that it's fine if someone else is being woken up and kept awake at 6 am by your child, can you really not remember life before children? Do you think a 6 am start is normal? Can't believe the selfishness on this thread.

EmmyVonN · 04/09/2010 15:58

I live in a detached house in the country and those bastard cows at 6am.

YANBU. You have offered a reasonable compromise. And it is possible to control even semi-possessed toddlers. I have one and he doesn't run all the time.

quiddity · 04/09/2010 16:52

YANBU.

The OP isn't objecting to the little boy playing--the people who have flamed her for that are being v unfair.

Why must he be allowed to run up and down that corridor from 6 am? Why can't he be told to do something else for an hour or two?

Northernlurker · 04/09/2010 17:35

Because he's 20 months old and all our lives would be simpler if we could just tell them things.

diddl · 04/09/2010 17:44

YANBU.

Aren´t there certain hours between which you should try not to make noise?

(11pm-7am)?

Or does that just apply to out in the street-sounding car horns, revving engines etc?

thesecondcoming · 04/09/2010 17:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittleMissHissyFit · 04/09/2010 17:53

YANBU, I would be mortified if my DS was disturbing someone at 6am every single day, enough for someone to come and tell me he was.

Word to the wise, for all those who say you can't stop little Fanny May stomping up and down screaming cos she's having fun....

someone else's little darling screaming are NOT anyone's idea of fun, at ANY time of the day, let alone 6am.

Just because she is having fun, doesn't mean that she can continue doing it. Eating worms is FUN, drawing on the walls, hand painting etc etc are all FUN, but there are times and places for all these activities.

Running up and down shrieking is an OUTDOOR activity. Allowing that to continue uncurtailed, knowing you are waking some poor woman downstairs is outrageous.

Your neighbours are being unreasonable, please speak to the management company if they won't try keep the noise down.

solomanswife · 04/09/2010 17:59

It's not unreasonable to expect to be able to sleep at 6am. This is still very early for most people.

It's a shame they reacted so badly as it sounds as though you were really careful. Is there a way you can get them into your flat so they can hear how bad it is? At the same time repeat your offer to do something about soundproofing. Good luck!

muggglewump · 04/09/2010 18:01

D'you know what, my DD is now 9 and trust me, it was far easier to get her to stop doing something at 20 months than it is now. I'm guessing it'll be even harder when she's a teen.

20 month olds can be placated with CBeebies and a packet of biscuit.

Either way, you have to do what you can to stop them disturbing others, and if they really won't stop, at least be polite about it with the neighbours-eg: "I'm so sorry, we're trying and doing all we can, again, I apologise", and then give them a case bottle of wine.

It's the whole, "He's 20 months, so screw you", attitude that would get my back up.

ledkr · 04/09/2010 18:07

Those who think a toddler can't do anything else at 6 am. What will you do when older dcs are at school and need sleep. unless you have kids one yr apart there will always come a time that the little ones need to keep quiet. dd was toddler when 2 ds were doing exams and needed to sleep. when she was up early I would entertain her with breakfast,toys, tv etc.
It certainly won't do a toddler any harm not to tear up and down a corridor at 6am! they are children not wild animals.
Earplugs work well op. They flame you for anything on here.

pigsinmud · 04/09/2010 18:21

YANBU. 6am is too early for noise. 7:30/8 that's ok. Later on a Sunday. I don't let my children in the garden at 6am as they would wake the neighbours, so I certainly not let my toddler run up and down the hall of my flat especially if the neighbour had already said the noise was disturbing her.

I'm shocked so many people are saying well you can't stop a 20 month old, we yes you can, you're the parent. I'm sure you'd all be complaining if I let my dog bark at 6am and said well she's just being a dog.

As for what you can do, I'm not sure. It was generous of you to offer to pay for some carpet. Perhaps approach them again? If not as others have said, look at doing something to your own flat

Imisssleeping · 04/09/2010 18:43

The op already uses earplugs

CurlyhairedAssassin · 04/09/2010 19:25

I tell you what: all you posters who would happily let their 20 months old wake up their downstairs neighbour in this manner every day, because you say "I can't stop them, it's what they DO at that age." - if your child is that energetic that they can't play a bit quieter for an hour indoors, then bloody well get up, get out and take them to the nearest park where they CAN run about all over the place shrieking. 6am too early for you to be up and out doing that? Oh dear, never mind, poor you. But tough titty!

Hmm

Just thought of one explanation why the neighbour won't do anything .....does the child maybe have special needs? Maybe as yet undiagnosed? (my cousin was like that at that age and his autism hadn't been diagnosed yet and he was VERY tough to handle.) Your average energetic "normal" toddler can certainly be taught not to run about until after 7am, if their lazy-arse parents can be bothered trying.

muggglewump · 04/09/2010 19:29

I think it's fine for teens to play music really loudly at 3am, as that's what teen do.

And it's far harder to pick a teen up and take them out to the park, or give them a biscuit and put the TV on.

Can't complain though, just being a teen right?Hmm

ApocalypseFlangePop · 04/09/2010 19:42

Yanbo, selfish buggers should at least chuck a carpet down in the hall. Shock

ApocalypseFlangePop · 04/09/2010 19:49

yanbu Blush

And fwiw my brother used to have 2yr old twins living above him, the pictures used to shake on the wall, so I can imagine the vibrations !

belgo · 04/09/2010 19:51

The point is though, unless the toddler is the size of a small elephant wearing clogs, how on earth can he make so much noise as to wake up someone in another flat, just by running?

I cannot hear my toddler running in the room above me.

atmywitssend · 04/09/2010 20:02

YANBU - yes toddlers run around but 6am is not on. The parents really ought to stop the toddler until a more reasonable time.

ChippingIn · 04/09/2010 20:17

Alovelybunchofcoconuts - yep, it's people like you creating the kids of today who can't be told 'No'. If it was your daughter enjoying herself it would not be more important than your neighbours sleep - you should be reasonable/repsonsible/considerate and find something quiet she enjoys at 6am when you have neighbours! FFS

Knowittoowell - yes if was the neighbour disturbing 'precious' then it would be different, but if it's 'precious' doing the disturbing it's entirely reasonable and the neighbours should expect it - or move to the country Hmm

muggglewump · 04/09/2010 20:25

Yes, just move.
Well that's easy and realistic isn't it.

As I said earlier, my neighbour is considerate with noise, but if she wasn't, I'd just get myself a detached house, no problem, of course.Hmm

What planet are some of you living on?

thesecondcoming · 04/09/2010 20:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.