Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect a 20 month old to not run up and down constantly indoors?

132 replies

plagued · 04/09/2010 09:21

please help - i am being woken at 6 a.m. every morning by a little boy in the flat above me constantly running up and down a very long coridoor morning noon and night (often whilst screaming and squealing with delight!)
On weekends he old often has a little friend over to "play" so there's two of them running up and down and screaming.

I mentioned it to my neighbours and asked if there's anything they could do, including offering to pay half for some soundproofing or thick carpeting - but they have taken it badly and say they can't stop him from "playing".
It's a while since my kids were that age - please advise, do you think it's reasonable or unreasonable to expect a child of that age to be stopped from running up and down - constantly, as a game - indoors??
thank you

OP posts:
belgo · 04/09/2010 09:58

yes get the soundproofing done because in a flat you may end up with neighbours with a DIY hobby or drum kit.

Original poster
plagued · 04/09/2010 09:58

PLEASE NOTE i do NOT expect no noise - i've lived in flats for 30 years and am fine with hearing people's day to day stuff going on.. this is exceptional - even though i appreciate it is NORMAL BEHAVIOUR
!!

OP posts:
auntpolly · 04/09/2010 09:58

Even with constant effort and intervention from the parents, it would be very hard to stop a 20 month old from running about. They just don't walk at that age. I think the only thing that can be done is putting down a carpet or rugs. Are they tenants? You could approach their landlord if so. Have you tried using earplugs?

Original poster
plagued · 04/09/2010 10:01

i understand thank you
and yes i do use earplugs - it's the vibrations ..
thanks for everyone's two penneth, very useful

OP posts:
thesecondcoming · 04/09/2010 10:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Giddyup · 04/09/2010 10:06

I would be annoyed the 6amness of it all TBH, but not the running. I am sure they could attempt to restrain him until 8. It's probably a MNer who is too busy polishing their halo on a "I refuse to stifle my childs development with the evil of Television" thread to get up and read him some books/chuck some crayons in his general direction.

thesecondcoming · 04/09/2010 10:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

geraldinetheluckygoat · 04/09/2010 10:08

I agree with thesecondcoming. It can be really hard, and obviously children are very noisy, but if it were me I would be saying sorry, getting him some rubber soled slippers and some very thick carpet!! I worry about the noise my kids make all the time, as they are bloody noisy and we are in a semi. I do make an effort to minimise the noise in their room and other rooms which are next to the neighbours side.

ProfYaffle · 04/09/2010 10:12

I agree with Giddyup - they could try and distract him or something til a more reasonable hour. It does seem odd though that a 20 month old could cause a building to vibrate to that extent Confused

TheLadyEvenstar · 04/09/2010 10:13

Noise is part of the deal when you live in a flat with children above you - especially a toddler!!

I can only think the building has problems if a 20m old running up the hallway causes vibrations which go through your body.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 04/09/2010 10:13

YANBU - I agree that it's totally normal toddler behaviour, but at 6am (which is a noraml time for a toddler to be awake), if I were his parents I'm afraid I would be a bit more considerate to other people in the flats and just not let him run up and down at that time! Or if that proved too difficult, then take on board her complaint and sort out the soundproofing/rugs.

Why are all these people saying "It's just what toddlers do". Well, I'm sorry but there are LOADS of things that toddlers would do given the chance, but the point is that as parents WE are the ones who are teaching them to live according to societal expectations and niceties - one of which is you show respect to your neighbours at a time like 6 in the morning!

I bet the parents go back to bed and let him run round on his own instead of getting up with him and maybe doing a quieter activity with him until a slightly more decent time.

I was livid once when DH and I were at a hotel one Valentines night and we'd been given the bridal suite. All romantic etc and an expensive treat (seems naff now, that Valentines stuff but anyway, it was early days then so highly expected Grin). We were woken up at about 5.30am by some kids upstairs running up and down for about an hour and a half and screaming. Put paid to any morning shenanigans, I can tell you, I got so wound up. Maybe we should have deliberately had really loud, embarrassing screamy sex - that would have shut the buggers up, bet their parents would have taken them out Grin

Poor OP, YANBU! I have lived in flats, and have had 2 energetic toddlers, but I know how to treat people with respect and consideration, unlike some people on here! I am amazed.....

LIZS · 04/09/2010 10:17

I think I would mention to parents again and point out where the bedroom was in relation to the corridor, so could they try to avoid him playing in that area so early. 20 months is too young to expect him not to do it at all though.

HerBeatitude · 04/09/2010 10:17

I think 6AM is the earliest you can be expected to tolerate it.

But... yes, sorry, any time after 6, then you must tolerate it.

I agree it's a sound-proofing problem, not a toddler problem.

Imisssleeping · 04/09/2010 10:23

YANBU some people just don't have consideration for others.
I can't believe you offered to pay half and they weren't interested.
I also thought people had to have carpets in upstairs flats.
It must be awful, I feel really sorry for you.
8 am - ok
6 am - not ok.
Although yes it is hard to keep a toddler still, I would try very hard if I lived in an upstairs flat.

PlanetEarth · 04/09/2010 10:26

YANBU. 6am? No way. (For the record, my kids never got up so early, but maybe I was just lucky.) Of course there are things parents can do, for a start I guess the parents must be up and about if the kid is, so why can't they do some quiet activity with him, like reading or jigsaws, or playing with a train set, instead of letting him charge around? Or try to keep him in a room away from your bedrooom?

Giddyup · 04/09/2010 10:28

Totally, if your children wake early unfortunately its your job to keep them quiet, not inflict them on other people.

I do have the most adorable picture in my mind of the little chap running up and down and shrieking in delight though!

EgyptVanGogh · 04/09/2010 10:47

Are you highly sensitive in general? Talking about 'the vibrations' makes me suspect you are.

Original poster
plagued · 04/09/2010 10:50

you have no idea

OP posts:
Original poster
plagued · 04/09/2010 10:51

this has been very enlightening and i'm really heartened that there are some people out there who don't put their kids wants before everyone else's needs and quality of life ...
you've been great!
cheerio for now

OP posts:
ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts · 04/09/2010 11:04

YABU,

I am that upstairs neighbour with a running toddler! i live in the middle with a 1 year old at the ground floor, me in the middle with a 2yo, and upstairs with a 1yo.

My DD must annoy the hell out of downstairs but i wont tell her to sit still, and the baby upstairs is constantly crawling around, at 4am the other day, but i would never complain as i know what children are like.

You cant make them sit still if they are inquisitive.

I think I would have to say move house with no children upstairs if it really bothers you.

expatinscotland · 04/09/2010 11:04

I think you need to live somewhere else besides a flat.

My 21-month-old runs everywhere.

What am I supposed to do when he wakes up, chain him to his cot so he can't run about?

We're very considerate of our downstairs neighbour, who has a 20-month-old son herself and is pregnant. As much as we can be, we don't blast music, party, argue, crank up the telly, etc.

She doesn't even hear them running about anymore than we register her child screeching his head off.

It's what toddlers do.

This is a delapidated council flat with next to no insulation, no soundproofing and no carpets.

And yet I've never heard of vibrations from footfall being a bother.

I'm so sensitive to noise I have to have anxiety treatment, but seriously, when footfall vibrations become a problem, you need to consider living somewhere else.

YABU.

Bumperlicious · 04/09/2010 11:07

It is tough, I've lived in flats where it has been really noisy and it is so frustrating. The least they could do at that time of the morning is pen him into one room!

Kids do make noise, yes, but if you come on MN and ask if it is ok for your kids to go and play noisily in the garden at 6am you would get a resounding NO! It's the time of day at issue here really.

expatinscotland · 04/09/2010 11:11

It's not ideal, bringing up kids in flats. I don't know anyhow who would chose to do so.

But plagued is lucky she doesn't have a speed freak living on top of her. The vibrations from his techno music blasting all night at max bass would drive her round the twist far more than any toddler.

lumplard · 04/09/2010 11:11

Plagued YANBU.

A toddler may well want run around but I would be mortified if my neighbour told me it was effecting her at that time of the morning.

garlicoliveoil · 04/09/2010 11:18

plagued -how the hell is letting a 20 month old toddler run around putting their wants before other peoples needs Hmm,

hes a toddler ffs, running around which is completely and utterly normal, i couldnt stop my DS running and shrieking, he doesnt know what time it is and he also wouldnt sit still every morning and do jigsaws and colouring activities

i could understand if it was a ten year old playing his drums but yabvu expecting a toddler to be quiet

go to bed earlier if it bothers you that much