to expect a 20 month old to not run up and down constantly indoors?

[plagued]

please help - i am being woken at 6 a.m. every morning by a little boy in the flat above me constantly running up and down a very long coridoor morning noon and night (often whilst screaming and squealing with delight!)
On weekends he old often has a little friend over to "play" so there's two of them running up and down and screaming.

I mentioned it to my neighbours and asked if there's anything they could do, including offering to pay half for some soundproofing or thick carpeting - but they have taken it badly and say they can't stop him from "playing".
It's a while since my kids were that age - please advise, do you think it's reasonable or unreasonable to expect a child of that age to be stopped from running up and down - constantly, as a game - indoors??
thank you

YANBU, it can be very frustrating to have to hear neighbour noise day in day out. I've lived in a place where we could hear neighbours two floors up simply because they took up the carpets and it was infuriating (the woman would clip clop across the floors late at night in heels and we would hear chairs moving and things being dropped constantly, etc). It was a council flat, so I suppose in hindsight I should've contacted their HA (though I didn't know I
could do that at the time).

No one, including you it seems, is expecting a toddler to be quiet, but I don't think it's at all unreasonable to think that the parents should minimise the noise as much as possible. A simple carpet runner would probably help in this case. Approach the building management or HA, clearly the softly softly approach is not working with them.

Good luck :).

Garlicoliveoil (your name has made me hungry) you have to teach them when it is and isn't OK to run around shrieking. Also I would find it a damn cheek if someone told me to go to bed earlier because they couldn't keep their child quiet!

yanbu, if it was afetr 8 you would be.
the parents are imo being very inconsiderate and should find a quieter game at that time(perhaps actually play with the toddler)

This is a baby. Teach them not to do what babies do because the neighbour's Victor Meldrew?

Carpets are minging, too.

Guess it's really true, people forget what it's like having a 20-month-old.

Play with them? My toddler has the attention span of a gnat. He'll 'play' with something, including me, for about a minute max.

How about the OP offer to switch flats with them, so they're on the ground floor.

YANBU. The parents are being inconsiderate and selfish. No doubt little Tarquin's parents think that the world revolves around him and that he shouldn't be prevented from doing as he wants, regardless of how it affects others.

He's going to be a real delight when he gets older.

so perhaps the parents with the lively toddler should move(chucks that in the frying pan and runs for cover)

No, they shouldn't have to move, of course not, but they should be receptive to neighbours commenting, especially when they have been completely reasonable in the approach. There is a solution here as well, carpet and some kind of soundproofing. The neighbour with the child is the unreasonable one if they won't even consider a compromise.

It's a nightmare when children run around upstairs. It's part of the reason why we moved out of the flats we were in when I was pregnant with DS1. Even in the new apartments we were in (super environmental, won awards, yadda, yadda, yadda) we could hear the upstairs neighbours child running around noisily. If people remove carpets, that is what happens, some buildings are worse than others.

If you own your flat, you could consider putting in soundproofing in the ceiling, by putting in a false ceiling. But you do lose about 6 inches of your room height.

I think maybe people stuck in the baby toddler stage forget what it's like not to have a 20 month old.It hardly makes someone Victor Meldrew if they would rather not be woken by someone else's child at 6am and are even willing to pay out of their own pocket to try and rectify the situation.

Although I am distinctly Victor Meldrew and a nasty old witch to boot; as I used to get distinctly pissy if my own toddler woke me at that time!

Expat in your situation I would let my children be as noisy as they chose as it pales into insignificance compared to how your neighbours treat you, But it doesn't sound like that is the case for the family in the OP.

Oops, meant to put in this link to show what I meant by soundproofing ceiling

another yanbu here- it's not the running around but it's the time of day. 6am is way too early for that esp if the OP has told the neighbours the noise comes right through to her and was nice about it with the offer of helping to pay for soundproofing.

I have 3 under 3s and my dh and our lodger both work shifts and I can manage to keep them quiet(ish) until at least 8/9 so they can sleep.

Whoever said about children having to be taught when certain behaviour is or isn't acceptable was right.

And the bit about the wooden floors could be true- the flat I lived in you weren't allowed wooden uncovered floors cos of the noise.

The running is normal but if it's making that much noise then they ought to be considering putting down carpet or similar. It could be worth checking the terms of the leases as it's not uncommon in flats to have a term saying you need to have carpet down.

actually it is reasonable I think to stop your toddler running around at 6am.and it is possible to stop them doing it.

i have a tenant in our basement flat, and we ensure that our children sit quietly in the sitting room watching tv until a reasonable time. unfortunately his bedroom is under our wooden-floored kitchen, but we don't let them in there until around 7 on weekdays and later at weekends.

I have a 20 month old. YABVVVU!! You've obviously forgotten what it's like.

YANBU agree with the other posters regarding the time the toddler is running up and down the hall at is not reasonable.

surely a parent can keep a small child entertained until a more respectable hour rather than listening to a child charging up and down a hall early doors, (it really is annoying to listen too every morning), and if they can't they really should invest in a carpet or such like.

And yes i do live in a flat, i do have a child and i am in the middle.

sympathies OP

Im not surprised your pissed off, id be fuming. And it cant be that hard to entertain a toddler for an hour , as someone else says crayons ect.

One of my neighbours had a small toddler who woke around 5.30. She would let him play in the garden from that time onwards where he would scream and howl literally waking up the whole street. Her response was similar to your neighbours.

Have you considered speaking to the landlord ?

I wonder what would be said if you were making lots of noise in your flat between the hours of 8pm and 11pm waking the 'baby' up, perfectly legal and reasonable by all accounts but I'd bet they'd have something to say if the roles are reversed.

FWIW I have lived in an old flat with a 20 month old and never had any complaints and would be mortified if I did and do anything I could to reach a reasonable compromise. You have to with communal living. Unlike my upstairs neighbour who clomped about in her fecking stilettos all day and evening and would occasionally come home pissed at 3am and kick said stilettos off then proceed to have noisy sex with her husband.

YANBU.

The world doesn't revolve around parents with toddlers. Yes I do remember what having a 20 month old was like, it was bloody hard work. But I am a very considerate parent who doesn't believe that everyone should roll over for my children. Seems to be an overwhelming consensus on here.

YANBU

Anyone saying you cannot stop a 20 month old doing this might want to try the word NO. If you can't handle them now, what are you going to be like when they are teenagers FFS.

There is plenty you can do with toddlers to keep them from running around and distubing the neighbours at 6 am.

YANBU. PMSL at the notion that living in a flat gives you a green flag to not give a shit about other people. The notion that the world revolves around little Tarquin who must not be given boundaries is amazing. What on earth are the parents doing whilst he is running up and down screeching for prolonged periods ? Lying in their beds trying to ignore him no doubt. Mine sometimes sound as if they are coming through the ceiling here so you have my utmost sympathies. I think that if you have had such a negative reception from them, your next step is to speak to the landlord. Or you could of course put ACDC on loud at midnight for a few evenings? I mean, they can't actually complain about that can they - what with living in a flat and all ?

Sometimes though it isn't reasonable to complain. In my flat I can even hear my upstairs neighbours go to the toilet so sometimes it is the state of the flat that makes things ten times noisier not always the children or what ever else is making noise.

My 2yo loves to dance and her dances involves jumping up and down and practically going through the floor but I wouldn't tell her not to do it because it might annoy someone else. she is having fun. But if she was having a paddy and stamping her feet then i would tell her no doesn't mean i cant control her chippingin

Given you kindly offered to pay half the cost of some soundproofing I do not think you are being unreasonable. Of course children run around but the parents sound selfish to me to not even consider taking up your offer to at least TRY to make things better for you.