in noticing that other IPOAT Johnny husband incarnations are better than mine?

[Hullygully]

Huh.

They are fine, hard working men. Perhaps you could marry both of them.

You are straying into Mormonism now, surely?

I have spent the day labouring hard in the fields with Brother Japhrimelekiel. We prayed together, and contemplated the intimate infinite.

What a fine figure of Amish manhood is Brother Japhrimelekiel. How fortunate is dear Rebecca to whom he is affianced.

Dear Rebecca. She was to join us for a modest repast of shucked corn and hand-made cheese, but Japhrimelekiel said that urgent matters called her to the barn.

Nooooo! Stop her at once. She has forgot her modesty cheese.

1. They are COWs.

1. Horses know not of the other end of the ballroom.

His name has gone slightly awry too.

a modest repast of shucked corn and hand-made cheese,

Oh bless my bloomers! Our Pennsylvania cousins have devised a comely modest cheese bonnet

Dear ladies, cheese bonnets notwithstanding, I am ceasing forthwith from the rural tales here be-standing. At least for a while.

With lingering glances to all here {especially to Lenin in her hay-loft).

(Go Rebekkah, go!)

love from Hepzibah xx

A guide to proper cooking for you lovely ladies

Helllllooooooo

I feel like that giraffe from the old BT ad.

'where is everybody?'

At least I think it was a giraffe....

wasn't BT

BA I think

Hello darlings. Are we still Amish? Can I say darlings or will I be smote by some wrath?

Princessa, hope your DP is doing a little better. Stay you not away too long.

Widow!

Yes 'twas a BA ad after all that, I did google it myself, found reference to it but no footage sadly.

DENTINOX

I do believe that someone should write a Mumsnet version of 'We didn't start the fire'.

"Dentinox, fruit shoots, ramekins, Ugg boots, booble plate, two-week wait, Paggy's flowery cunt"

Lawks that was hard work. This is a job for Hully.

[impressed]

Sublime widow! love it.

OK

where the buggering bollocks is everyone?

errhhhgghhh...now open all day and working from morn til night....

Oh Mimi, you must be shattered