To ask my brother and family not to go to church when we visit

[Trifle]

I plan on visiting my brother, sil and their 2 children for a weekend in September with my 2 ds's. All the children get on fabulously and really enjoy eachothers company although, due to distance apart, we dont meet up as often as is liked.

My brother and sil are deeply religious to the point of fanaticism. They read the bible every day, pray religiously, attend church at least 2 if not 3 times a week, sometimes twice on a sunday (obviously the message doesnt get through first time).

Now, if we visit at the weekend and stay overnight, would IBU to ask them not to go to church on a sunday morning as the whole thing takes about 3 hours and we just end up hanging around waiting for them to come back. This defeats the object of the whole trip if we are there to see them plus I also think it is rude to abandon your guests.

"Tokyo: Religion is a strong belief in a supernatural power or powers that control human destiny;"

You've met Liverpool fans, I take it?

Can you hear the thud of determined trainers? Here they come. God wants you to open your home and heart to Riven's MIL.

Animation - but are you chosen?

YAB totally U.

Hullygully - I am a mere humble servant - I do not wish to be chosen.

It isn't fair. Why can't God chose on something better. Like shoes. Or talent with limericks. Or how long you can hold your breath ( although that one has potential flaws as the most devoted would die sooner)

God sees into your heart. See her blench and quail.

"Well, they may well believe that it's a sin not to attend church regularly (I know for a fact that in some denominations it is seen as a very serious sin). So, whatever you or the OP may think of that, I don't think it's fair to ask somebody to commit what they regard as a sin. Not the case with a hobby."

Again, you've met football fans, I take it? A swift listen a Radio 5 phone-in will reveal large numbers of football fans who, for example, travel to every England match, sacrificing holiday and money. I once sat next to someone at a Neil Young gig who had taken a month off work to attend every date on the tour, in case something was played one night and never played again (Neil was in a "you shout it out, I'll play it" mood). I've worked with someone who went to every West Brom match, home and away, for about twenty years.

You're attempting to argue that compulsive behaviour is somehow different depending on the social standing of the obsession. I suspect a popular vote would find that people would go "religion, OK, local football team, bit odd, England football, really odd, Neil Young, are you mad?". Nick Hornby writes about his Arsenal obsession in Fever Pitch, and how his friends slowly stopped inviting him to weddings on Saturdays because they knew he wouldn't attend. They're all obsessive, and all equally odd.

And we've already established that the OP's brother is able to get a handy exeat in order to go on holiday, so clearly it isn't quite a compulsory as is being made out.

OP - suggest you all go into Gods countryside and pack a picnic - it's September and the good weather isn't going to last much longer.

Well, Animation, if it's a problem, it's your problem, not theirs. Not sure why you think any God would surely prefer his followers to enjoy plenty of family time instead of worshipping him; have you not read the Bible story about what's-his-name being asked to sacrifice his son on a mountain-top(God let him off at the last minute and said it was just a test of faith, but the message was pretty clear I think...)?

Tokyo

Do you mean to be offensive and intolerant or are you just genuinely unaware of how ignorant your posts are?

"You're attempting to argue that compulsive behaviour is somehow different depending on the social standing of the obsession. "

No, I'm not. I'm "attempting" to argue that it makes a difference whether or not a person thinks they are risking hellfire by not going to their activity. I actually wouldn't have a problem with my hosts attending a football match either. As long as I knew about it in advance, I could either make plans for those few hours, or decide to visit them on another day.

I love Tokyo. She is right up there with lovely old cory.

I am taking Tokyo to the chosen place with me.

Not a twin room for special advice I hasten to add.

God is love - and taking care of the family is all part of what he wants us to do.

I don't personally like those stories about God sacrificing his son - and these were stories written by writers not God.

I'm not talking about God's son, I'm talking about the Old Testament story about Abraham and his son Isaac (had to google to remember the names).

Don't you think other people and religions have the right to decide who they think God is and what he wants from them?

I'm with Tokyo. She's saved me a lot of typing too

I'm aware that religion and hobbies are, usually considered, to be different (although with some football fans I'd beg to differ) but I don't see why one should be seen as more important than the other.

Don't you think other people and religions have the right to decide who they think God is and what he wants from them?

What if he wants them to throw poison gas down the tube? Or blow up a few people now and then? Or stone them to death?

Btw OP YANBU to ask your brother not to go to church.

Again, why is it required for atheists "to learn about your fellow man and to accept and tolerate different ways of life"; while Christians (and other religionists) have no such requirement and are allowed to tell atheists that they will go to hell?

How can it possibly be justified to suggest to the OP that it is reasonable for her and her children that they should accompany her brother to church to be hugged by total strangers?

Why is it ok for Christians to tell atheists that their Christian belief comes before everything else and not ok for atheists to tell them that they consider that to be wrong-headed and selfish?

Really, why are you Christians demanding this respect for your beliefs from us atheists when you are not prepared to give us and the things we believe are primarily important, like family life and relationships, the same level of respect you demand?

I have to say, I really believe that respect needs to be earned not just given and I really struggle with the concept of respecting people's belief that something is true just because they say it is, despite having no proof.

Have only just seen this thread, and don't really understand the controversy.

I'm an atheist and won't willingly go to any religious service (although I do make an exception for weddings).

But I still think the OP is BU. And I think the comparison with football etc is largely irrelevant. IMO it doesn't matter whether it's a hobby or religion that dictates their plans, it is clearly something important to them.

I've been to visit relatives and have sat through rugby matches on TV that were of no interest to me. I've disappeared off to a football match myself while my SIL was staying (it was a BIG match, I wouldn't do it normally). I've also eaten meals I didn't particularly enjoy at times that were different from my usual routine. Because if I'm a guest in someone's house I expect to fit around their routine. I would be a bit miffed if they were busy ALL weekend, and would expect that if that were the case they might offer to choose a different weekend. But 3 hours is not a big deal.

I had that Riven's MIL in the back of my cab once

Exactly pozzled. Agree completely.