to get a big bag and throw away every single thing that dd1 owns?

[ditavonteesed]

I am so fed up of the bloody mess, all she ever plays is lets pile everything in boxres/bags/suitcases and put it in the lounge, or the garden or anywhere it is not supposed to be and leave it there until mum tidiers it up. books, clothes, everything. doesn't matter how many ti es I try to stop her, also she has almighty paddy about tidying it up, would say well it will go in ther bin but it is usually stuff that she needs not toys. why does she do it?

put it in a bag, put it in her room. Don't tidy it for her.

she is 7 in a couple of weeks, she is curr3ently on threat of her party being caneclled. thing is she have get another load of tat to add to thye load of tat she has already and more stuff for me to try and keep together.
We are making such a big deal of making her look after her things that her room os really tidy, which is great, she just brings everything everywhere else in the house.

I've done it but hidden the bag in my wardrobe it works for some kids but not others, would never of actually thrown stuff away though.

I think there was one MNer who cleared away most of her DC's toys, and only left out about fifteen.

Maybe do that - go through the room, with her, clearing out stuff, and only allow her to have certain toys out. As for the clothes, hm. Maybe don't wash them if they're not put in the laundry basket? I think this tactic though only works with teenagers who might miss clothes, not a 7 year old.

My Mother used to put all our abandoned stuff, including clothes, in a big black bin bag, then on pocket money day we had to pay a penny (70's prices!) for each thing we wanted back, the rest would be binned. Did teach us to put a value on things I suppose.

euphemia, we get that but it is pj's, I went round her room this morning and took all the pj's I found down stairs, now putting the washing away dd2 has 1 nightie, (I wash ervyday) dd1 has 4 pairs of pj's and 2 nighties.

I cull their stuff all the time! Clothes, toys, wee tatty shite.

They don't even miss it.

And if they do and ask, I say we lost it in our most recent move.

Zapostrophe - maybe you should refuse to wash them, and see if he gets the message

My kids are a bit younger but I am a HUGE fan of chucking "wee tatty shite" as expat cutely calls it (I have a less nice name for it) and they dont miss it more often than not. And if they do, tough shit. I just give them the Paris Shrug and say "it wasn't me"

Any broken toys, McHappyCrap, anything I skate on at the bottom of the stairs, anything that enrages me, well within reason because there is a lot.

Oh how I long to fill a skip.

Lego. "If you dont pick up this lego and put it in that bucket there, I will hoover it up and put it in the bin"

Okay mummy.

5 minutes later.

Plugs Hoover in. One brick. Two bricks.

Never seen him move so fast.

My dad used to do it to me. The big bag would come and stuff would go in it, then every so often I would get a bit of it back. He used to sort it and bin the rubbish.

Not unreasonable at all

"it never did me any harm"

Of course she doesn't tidy it up because she knows you will!!You've created this problem yourself.i don't get what you mean by she won't tidy up.Stand over her til she does!!

I used to cull stuff from my kids' rooms when they weren't there when younger.
Now if room isn't tidy no money or favourite items confiscated.
When younger and messy I'd often chuck a big bag of stuff in the loft. If they didn't notice it had gone it got charity shopped a month or so later.
If room messy they also don't get to go somewhere they want to go until tidy.

The crappy stuff in our house now gets an ingenious new lease of life as the contents for "jolly jam jars" twice a year at the school fete/Christmas fair.

Party bags, last years jolly jam jars and any other random bits of tat get piled into a decorated jamjar, along with a good helping of sweets and sold on with profits to the PTA.

yes YABU, she is six - needs you to teach her strategies/support her/help her so that she can learn. Blimey - give her time!

Re. the birthday adding to the pile of stuff. We have both the DCs' birthdays and Christmas in a big cluster at the end of the year, so each year I have a talk with them about how lots of children aren't as lucky as them and don't have as many toys, and we choose some to take to the charity shop to clear out space for new stuff.

And for tidying up, I think you need to get tough and maintain the bad cop routine until she learns that you are not her skivvy.

@ spacehopper.