to find it a little bit pathetic when grown women say they won't drive long distances

[emkana]

of more than 30 (!) miles because they are scared of the driving and navigating.

Is it really that hard, am I missing something here?

Is it just me or is mumsnet full of grumpy people today?
(sorry to digress from the subject of the thread)

Actually FrameyMcFrame I do. Who exactly is in control of the car whilst you are having a panic attack? Because I sure as hell couldn't drive a car safely whilst i was having one. Seriously, I'm not being arsey and I actually don't think a driving phobia is 'pathetic' or anything else but being so frightened that you have panic attacks is potentially catastrophic, for you, for your kids and for anyone else who happens to get caught in the crossfire.

I am really scared of driving, over the last 10 years I have made in-roads to conquer this fear, including medication and hypnotherapy. When I first started driving I could only drive to one location - work which was a couple of miles away. Over the years I have pushed myself a little more each year and now manage around a 10-15 mile radius from home. I am really scared of motorways, I am so scared of crashing that I start driving really badly and really might crash. I cannot risk taking my children on motorways. It makes me frustrated and very sad as I would love to be able to go and visit my sister who lives 30 miles away up a motorway. But at the moment I just physically cannot do it. I do feel terribly pathetic and I can't get insulted by this thread as I know how people like me must look to the rest of the world.

Actually, I remember that crushing tiredness from having little ones and no sleep.

I didn't have a full night's sleep for a good 8 or 9 years and I thought twice before driving up north to see my mum without DH.

I'm sure it was safer then for him to drive.

Sassybeast...

that is why I do not drive on a motorway

But this is me being a pathetic woman no?

Seems I am damned if I do, and damned if i don't!

I hate driving long distances.

However, don't care what anyone thinks, so feel free to continue judging away.

Why would anybody be scared of dying** ? Get over it.

**3,000 per year or so

YABU these people are not half as dangerous as the overconfident twats who think they own the road, drive too fast for the conditions and are always convinced they're doing it right and everyone else has it wrong.

But, I also can't understand why folk who have such significant anxieties and/or lack of driving skills are allowed full licences.

'Bangs head against wall' Didn't call anyone pathetic I am genuinely surprised that anyone who is affected SO badly by driving continues to drive without enlisting some extra help. How do you know you won't panic on a busy dual carriageway or at a 4 lane roundabout etc ? Or end up diverted unto a motorway (has happened to me twice whilst driving in the Midlands) Not having a go at you personally BTW - just trying to understand. But slinking away now before I get shouted at again

OK, how about when out as a couple/family, does dh always drive?

I dislike driving on motorways, especially ones I don't know.

This is because over the last few years my fear of heights has worsened, meaning that any stretches of road that pass over a high bridge make me break out into a sweat, my heart start racing and my knees tremble.

Ergo, I prefer to leave that sort of journey to my DH, who has no such fears. Yes, I could have some kind of therapy, I suppose. And I may get around to that when there aren't better and more important things to do with my time and money.

If I HAD to do a drive like this, I would. It would probably be at a slower pace than all those of you who are such marvellous, fearless drivers- but that's just tough.

Am I a pathetic woman because I take the safer option?

Maybe.

But as a black belt in karate, I think not.

Pathetic is best kept to describe those people who are so sneering of other, 'lesser' drivers. It would perhaps be interesting to see how those people would fare in a driving test now.

Not as well as they'd like to think, I reckon.

That's to everyone, btw.

Feenie, what if she had to turn right into a dead end street? I can't see any way riund that one - even if she went past it and turned round she'd still have to turn right onto that road again??

Actually, I do know why women are more fearful of driving than men.

They have better imaginations.

So they can envisage sort of thing happening.

DH srives when he knows the way and I don't because he knows the way.

DH drives when we both don't know the way, as I'm a better map reader/direction giver than him, and it doesn't make me car sick.

So the only time I drive is when we both know where we're going :o

After recently moving to a city where I knew no one, I had to have a colposcopy at the local hospital.

My parents happened to be visiting and I asked mum to drive me there and back (only about two miles) as I was carless, worried, nervous and generally shitting myself. And wanted my mum, who conventiently happened to be there.

She said she didn't like driving places she didn't know and so my Dad drove us and waited in the car :(

I felt really let down and will never be like that - I often force myself to do more daring things - not just driving - to demonstrate that I can do them.

I don't think it is pathetic and have known men to be like this too.

For years I refused to drive on the motorway [ex always did it for me because 'I was crap at driving' according to him].
Anyway, after sorting out my life [we split], I drive quite regularly 250 mile trips to my parents etc. however, I do get nervous going on roads with steep drops next to them or high bridges [don't like heights] and try to avoid them, like the M5 near Bristol and the Dartford bridge!

hangingbelly - I could have written your post

I will admit that I am a pathetic woman as well, passed my test 10 years ago and for one reason or another am still terrified of driving even though I drive every day but limit myself to local roads.

I haven't driven on a motorway in about 3 years either.

My DP does the driving and I navigate, it's what both of us is best at.

I think people who are scared of spiders are a bit silly really I mean a spider it's not going to kill you but someone else in a car might but I would never ridicule someone else for having a spider phobia it's a real phobia to them.

I've never understood this. If you don't like driving on motorways then take some extra driving lessons to try and increase your confidence.

Dual-carriageways/motorways are generally safer than normal B roads. You're all travelling in the same direction, chances of an accident are much smaller than (for example) driving round the ring road of your nearest town. My ex-DP's Mum always refused to drive on motorways, when she drove on any other road she would not drive over 40mph, she thought this made her safer.

Never mind that she'd be in a 60mph limit (so failing to make reasonable progress) and everybody would be overtaking her, which is far more dangerous than sitting in a lane on a motorway

If you're not a confident driver, do something about it. Take extra lessons, drive more if possible, when you go somewhere new make sure you have a route plan/sat nav so you're not anxious about getting lost.

"I am as tough as old boots just not when driving"

Me too! Do those very critical posters above have NO irrational fears at ALL? No weak spots AT ALL?

Must be tiring being so perfect

FWIW I would love to be better at driving but am relatively inexperienced - practice makes perfect so I am getting on out there - BUT - am a bit on the merits of me "practising"/gaining experience whilst simultaneously putting others at risk!

Passed my test with 2 minor faults so can't be crap - but am definitely inexperienced.

I am irrationally scared of mice. Definately me weak spot but the biggest danger to others is the piercing shriek I let out when I see a picture of one.

Framey

re: The drivers in that clip. Not one of those feckers put their hazards on... had they done so some of the people behind might have had an inkling of what was going on ahead.

Also - tailgaters are the worst of the worst.

Well I don't drive (haven't done for over 20 years) as I don't like it and am rubbish at it. However, I get similarly irritated with women who won't use public transport when it's dark, because they are fwitened.