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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think they were wrong to have sex?

109 replies

happychick2010 · 29/08/2010 19:55

i recently went away with OH and kids and some friends of ours with their 10 year old daughter. We stayed in a travelodge which are quite big rooms. Anyway whilst we were away our friends were celebrating their wedding anniversary and had sex whilst their daughter slept in the same room.

I dont know if its me been old fashioned but i could never have sex with my children in the same room at the age they are now.

AIBU?

OP posts:

wukter · 29/08/2010 19:56

YANBU of course, no question.

ChequeredFlag · 29/08/2010 19:58

How do you know?

sloanypony · 29/08/2010 19:58

I wouldn't personally so YANBU to not want to but its not to say it was "wrong" of them, depending on size of room, how deep their daughter sleeps, etc. Hard to say really. Not something i'd want to discuss with friends etc.

sorrento56 · 29/08/2010 19:59

Yuk that they told you.

I wouldn't have sex with my children in the room I think over a certain age it is just wrong.

strawberrycake · 29/08/2010 20:00

I'm sure they were discreet and even if she woke she'd see nothing. IT's quite common in countries where families share sleeping quarters. Back home I share with step children/ grandma and dh and I don't abstain for the entire time. Families in our village would all only have one child if they thought it was wrong. There's a difference between a silent fumble under the duvet and swinging from the light fittings.

DetectivePotato · 29/08/2010 20:01

I think 10 is a bit too old for them to be having sex whilst she is in the room.

YANBU.

Travelodge would have meant parents in the double bed and child on a fold out couch, not far from the bed.

SolidGoldBrass · 29/08/2010 20:04

They probably know their DD is a good sleeper and thought it was unlikely she would wake. And, TBH, if they were just at it under the covers and she did wake, she probably wouldn't have seen anything to traumatize her (kids do, after all, sometimes walk in on parents having sex and it doesn't usually do much harm).

MrsSchadenfreude · 29/08/2010 20:07

I shared a bedroom on holiday with my parents when I was about that age and was often woken up by them having a high old time. My mother was particularly vocal. The first time I was woken up was by strange noises, I was going to ask if they were alright, but then it occurred to me what they were up to. It got to the stage when I knew a shag was on the cards from my mother's behaviour when she came in...

greythorne · 29/08/2010 20:09

But did it bother you, MrsSchden, or did you take it in your stride?

greythorne · 29/08/2010 20:12

We were recently on hols with our DD1 (aged 3.8, excellent, deep sleeper) and DD2 (aged 19 months, good sleeper once she has been fed for at least 2-3 hours) and we were all in one big room. We were away for 3 weeks and we did it twice with the DC in the room, fast asleep. It was not the best sex and in fact, DH called a halt to proceedings midway the scond time because he was a bit put off, but I hope we weren't being unreasonable? Big difference between pre-schoolers and 1, I think.

Portofino · 29/08/2010 20:18

On holiday we have certainly done it, if we were sure that dd was fully asleep. Hell, we did it at home one day in our own room and I opened my eyes to find dd stood there asking if I was alright as I had been making funny noises....

ginnny · 29/08/2010 20:27

YABU. Just because you wouldn't do it, others do. Who are you to judge?
I have done in the past, but I could drive a steam train through my dcs room and it wouldn't wake them, they are such heavy sleepers.

greythorne · 29/08/2010 20:34

Yes, I agree with ginny. Just remembered my 10 yo nephew. He is an incredibly deep sleeper. If he has a late night out and falls asleep in the car, my sister (ie his mum) cannot wake him up and he has to be carried (he's 10 and tall!) into the house and upstairs. She then undresses him, puts his pjs on and he stays asleep throughout.

Maybe their kids are similar?

MaMoTTaT · 29/08/2010 20:37

@ Porto

Portofino · 29/08/2010 21:41

Gave me a fright!

AlgebraRocksMySocks · 29/08/2010 21:45

it's a bit yuk unless they know absolutely certainly she wouldn't wake up (and TBH on holiday sleep gets messed up so they could be wrong...)

My DD is 3 and a light sleeper, so no way.

BarmyArmy · 29/08/2010 21:45

YANBU - this is wrong.

tegan · 29/08/2010 21:47

i have never and could never have sex with a child in my room, or even when away with friends.

YANBU

Portofino · 29/08/2010 21:49

How do you think they manage in primitive tribes? Do you think the kids are traumatised for life, or just grow up knowing that sex is part of life's rich tapestry?

withorwithoutyou · 29/08/2010 21:51

YANBU.

I would never have sex in a Travelodge.

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte · 29/08/2010 21:52

But going back to Flag's question, how do you know anyway?

OTTMummA · 29/08/2010 21:56

Ditto tegan,,, and WOWOY.

OTTMummA · 29/08/2010 21:56

i don't know wich thread grosses me out more, this or the puss squeezing swimming pool one?!
whats wrong with people?

Appletrees · 29/08/2010 21:57

Snort at without you

Ragwort · 29/08/2010 21:59

I really want to know how you KNOW they had sex - did they want to discuss it with you??

No, I personally wouldn't have sex with my child in the room but I look for any excuse to avoid sex !

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