to have never been happier since DH dropped dead

[merrywidow]

not quite dropped dead, it took about three weeks for the verbally abusive, controlling, womanising, gambling bastard to pass away. Just thought I'd share

merrywidow... my friend's mother in law demanded the Royal Doulton back.. my friend smashed it and sent it with a note saying...'take up mosiac making bitch'. There was no love lost there.

I feel ashamed OP to have been so sceptical, please accept my apology.

MN is a bit odd these days.

Hope you continue to get support here

thelunar66 give your friend a hug from me and tell her to never look back. I'm off to sleep, at last, peacefully in my own bed with no insults ringing in my ears or fear of what he may do next.

Thanks Mistsandmellowmilady

Sweet Dreams

Check every week for a year to be sure he hasn't simply become a zommmmmmbiiiiiiieeeee.

Congratulations. Have some Bolly on me.

(YANBU btw)

Oh so he was abusive - that makes it ok then I'm not out to 'diss' you - I'm over 13 I just question your approach and think being glad the father of your children is dead is odd - relieved I would understand - glad, odd!

I agree YANBU but please think about having this thread pulled or the title changed (MN will do that if you ask), the title is incredibly insensitive to MNers who've lost loved ones. There is one in particular who lost her husband almost exactly a year ago.

YANBU. Why shouldn't you be happy to be finally free and in peace?

My ex used to abuse me and when he was out getting drunk I would lay in bed praying he would die in some sort of accident.

The first time he beat me in front of our dd I left him.

That's what I don't understand here op. Why would you stay with a man who made you and probably by default your children so unhappy.

You have said you can take a mortgage out so I assume money wasn't a huge issue.

Sorry if I've got it wrong. You have had a terrible time and I don't think you are wrong to feel as you do, just wrong to have stayed with him.

My feelings are along the same lines dolphin.

Fair enough to feel relieved, but her children had been living with this abusive, gambling, womanising bastard too. I would expect they have pretty confused feelings, and in the OPs shoes I would be focusing on that rather than starting a thread on a public forum to celebrate the death of her kids' father.

Your feelings merrywidow, so YANBU. All the best to you.

I'm going to come at this from different angle. I wonder if despite everything merrywidow says she is in fact grieving her H while at the same time hating him for what he did to her. Abuse brings out all kinds of emotions in a person as does death, some of which even the sufferer finds difficult to understand.

Merrywidow has suffered terrible abuse at the hands of her husband and I am sure that her head is not in the best of places right now. I think she has every right to come on here and express how she feels, if that is going to help her come to terms with everything that has happened to her, including the death of the man who in her title she calls 'DH'. I know she has posted in AIBU but as a survivor of a terribly abusive relationship myself I can relate a little to how she might be feeling and reacting. It doesn't make her a bad person, she is hurting for one reason or another.

Although, I could be totally wrong, it has been known but no Merrywidow, I don't think YABU to feel happier since your DH passed away. I wish you and your children and happy and now peaceful life

horrible thread title

Oh God I LOL'd.

You reap what you sew.

If you are gonna be a prick people are gonna be happy when you kark it.

Happy new life, OP, though I can't help wondering why you stayed with him.

You know what?

Good for you!

Everyone has a different approach to grief. Your feelings are your own and not for anyone else to judge

I don't see anything wrong with your title tbh.

Admitting how you feel is healthy, for others there's the 'hide' button.

Hope you and your children live happily ever after :)

Thread title is offensive.
I can understand you feeling relieved, but not the being glad he is dead bit, you chose to marry him and stay with him, he is your childrens father and I worry how this will impact on your children when they are part of him and you show such obvious loathing.
There are a couple of groups that might be useful to you, MW (merry widows ) and WAY ( widowed and young) I have found both to be helpful.
Winstons wish is helpful for advice regarding children.
Please do seek some support it's a difficult and confusing situation.

How did he die?

This happened to a friend a year or so back. What she felt was mostly an overwhelming sense of relief.

YANBU, no one who has not walked in your shoes can judge how you should feel.

However, the title is rather offensive.

Agree with Soup. Enjoy your life now free from abuse. Don't forget that him abusing her would also have impacted on the children so their lives will be easier in that respect too. It's a complicated and difficult situation being with an abusive man; not to mention frightening.

yanbu.

I don't know that the thread title is in bad taste, although I've never lost a dp. I've lost a wonderful mum though and I don't think I'd find it offensive if someone posted a similar thread about dancing on their evil mother's grave.

Some people are just fucking horrible, others aren't. We tend not to miss the nasty fuckers and some are so vile people are pleased when they die.

maybe you could turn it into relief instead of relishing his death

just might make it easier to move on

feel free to completely ignore me though