for reporting nursery to ofsted...

[beccas]

DD has persistently had poo marks in her knickers, since joining pre-school room, most days in fact (3 days a week!). It started when she was 2yr 9mth and she is now 3yr 3mth. I don't expect her to be able to wipe on her own.
Their response was that according to child protection laws, if a child refuses assistance they are not allowed to touch the child. She would be desperate to rejoin the playing so I can imagine her saying No or denying she had done a No.2. I have instructed them several times to make sure she is clean but it still happens. I know it happens to plenty of other children too.

DD has had two serious UTI infections this year and has now got to have her kidneys scanned for damage, and take an antibiotic EVERY DAY for a year. The doctor said it was definitely caused by poor hygiene which certainly doesn't happen when she is with me.
I have reported them to Ofsted. Would you have done the same?

No.

She is three. Time to wipe her own backside.

if she doesn't tell them she has pood what are they suppose to do?

yabu

No. If she's refused help they can't do it, like they told you.

You should be focusing more on teaching her how to do it than finding fault with them. You've allowed this to carry on for six months. The fault is yours, not theirs.

If she is denying it/saying no then they'd have to force her, which they cannot and would not want to do.

I'm not sure what you want them to do.

But a 3yo won't wipe properly, and might well make it worse - DD is 3.4, and no matter how many times I say 'front to back' and demonstrate, she still wipes back to front. And then reuses the paper several times. Sigh.

It was my understanding that these are the child protection rules.

Could you send her in with wet wipes to wipe herself, and teach her how to use them herself.

It must be very hard with DDs - I can see how infections happen, judging by the poor job my 7 and 9 year old DSs do

Would it be easier to teach her to accept help rather than perfecting wiping herself?

Star chart for coming home with clean pants maybe?

Zandy they are still little and not all will be competent in wiping properly and can do so themselves. They cannot force the child to have their bum wiped, what frogmarch her back to the toilet to do it against her will. Yes yabu and extreme

my 6 year old still makes a right mess sometimes, in fact i have just showered her because of it. she learnt not to poo at nursery and still waits until she gets home from school.

Yes. She is three. She shouldn't be expected to wipe her own backside properly.

NHS guidelines are that Children should have their teeth brushed for them until they are 7. If a 7 yr old can't be expected to brush their teeth properly, how can a 3 yr old be expected to wipe her backside properly. Ridiculous.

What are they there for. It's not just to keep an eye on the children but to make sure they develop and care for them. Part of this includes helping them learn how to wipe their bottoms and making sure they don't get unnecessary infections.

Sounds like a pretty poor nursery to me. Good for you. I'd follow up your complaint by moving your dd to a nursery that actually looks after children.

I think it was OTT to report them, unless there is something you haven't mentioned.

If its child protection laws that is stopping them helping her properly, then I'm not entirely sure what you think reporting them to Ofsted will achieve.

YABU

Just to add I think the child protection law also sounds OTT, though I haven't read it or interpreted it myself so it might be that they are misinterpreting it. Its not particularly clear how much to-ing and fro-ing there as been on this issue before reporting them though I see a fair bit of time has passed.

Give them a doctor's letter. I think they are being negligent. My child still can't wipe properly and is much, much older.

Otherwise, get a nanny.

I think that you are being a bit U to report them to OFSTE. Would teaching her that she must have help not be better way forward?

Child protection? What a load of tosh - how do they cope with children in nappies - let them sit in their shit all day?

I would not have been happy in your situation. I can understand why their usual rule may have been for the children to do it themselves but given your dd's health issues they should agree to do it now.

Well said LadyBiscuit.

YAB completely U.

What a ridiculous, petty reason to alert Ofsted. Why not A)teach your daughter to wipe herself, and just accept that she may not do it brilliantly just yet (my DTDs are 4yo - one can do it well, the other can't) and B) make an appointment to discuss it properly with nursery, making sure that you explain about the dr and the kidney issue.

Totally OTT IMO.

I think yabu and rather ott to report them to ofsted. Looking for a solution in conjunction with the nursery rather than reporting them and subjecting to them to an ofsted investigation would seem the more sensible route.

Thank you for responses, reporting this is the last straw in a whole load of other issues they do - like putting her in a nappy for a walk out after 3 weeks of being dry at potty training time and telling her to wee in her nappy.
I agree with all the teaching her points of view - we do this all the time and she tries.
They don't even notice she smells of poo and bother to put her in clean knickers.

Her health has been compromised by them hence the reporting to Ofsted, I don't know what else to do to make them wake up and smell the 'poo' as repeated requests to improve the situation have been clearly ignored since she has been in that room. I am taking her out asap but this is London, childcare is tricky to secure! Waiting lists etc.
Thanks all