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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I WANT TO DIE!!!

100 replies

Obvnotmyrealname · 21/08/2010 20:38

I have just seen my ex with his wife (he went back to her after I quit my partner). I want to die! I can't stop crying!!! My child is not at home, she's with her grandparents, so I'm all alone. I'm having crazy thoughts... I don't know if to go out, everybody is on holiday, or stay at home, but I can't stand the pain. Please help me! Say something that makes me not want to jump out of the window!

OP posts:
zapostrophe · 21/08/2010 20:39

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wedlocked · 21/08/2010 20:41

Phone the Samaritans.
Remember, you will feel better about this in time. He's certainly not worth you wanting to die! xx

LucyLouLou · 21/08/2010 20:43

Sweetheart, please call somebody. If you can't call friends, do as zapostrophe says and call the Samaritans. Keep posting here as well, but please call someone.

Thinking of you. x

TakeLovingChances · 21/08/2010 20:43

Don't feel like this over a man. Not worth it, although I know it's hard for you at this time.

Sending you big (un-MNish) hugs.

BarbieLovesKen · 21/08/2010 20:44

agree with both of the above. Samaritans straight away. I really hope your ok Sad

atswimtwolengths · 21/08/2010 20:49

Yes, phone them. They are lovely and you will feel so much better. Best of luck - I think everyone can understand how you feel right now.

poshwellies · 21/08/2010 21:00

READ THIS OP

Please!

ChippingIn · 21/08/2010 21:30

Obvnotmyrealname

Are you there?

Do you want to talk??

constantlytired · 21/08/2010 21:37

You have a child, think of her, please. Take it from someone that knows the pain that suicide can have on a family. Your daughter needs a mother, you're the only one she has. Please phone the samaritans.

Dione · 21/08/2010 21:37

You just have to get through tonight.

Tomorrow will be better.

MiladyDeSummer · 21/08/2010 21:46

Hurt pride is one thing and it stings, but ultimately no man or other person is worth it.

Show everyone including that twat that you value yourself and your child.

Marjee · 21/08/2010 21:50

Op even when you feel like you're alone and noone cares its not true. You have a child who loves and needs you. It doesn't seem possible when you're this low but you will smile again. Do you mind saying where you are? If theres noone you can call right now maybe a mner can come and sit with you.

Thinking of you and sending a big hug xx

anyabanya · 21/08/2010 21:54

Yes, please phone the Samaritans. No man is worth it, really, and you deserve to take careful, good care of yourself.

Please post back here when you can.

Fluffypoms · 21/08/2010 21:59

op Are you ok?

Spacehopper5 · 21/08/2010 22:11

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giraffesCantDanceInBrokenHeels · 21/08/2010 22:17

Hope you have phoned.

Pancakeflipper · 21/08/2010 22:22

It's agony. But believe me, hearts heal. Just really slowly. So slowly you hardly notice. What the others say about phoning the Sams is a great idea - tuck yourself up in bed with a huge box of tissues and the phone and talk to them. Let it all out.

Your child is safe and happy tonight so you can rant and wail. But you can't harm you - you are too loved and important.

And you have to let us know how you are. People do give a damn.

Tiredmumno1 · 21/08/2010 22:51

Op please come back on, we need to know you are ok.

listen sweetheart, a man is never ever worth feeling like that over. think of your daughter, that feeling of love between you and your child will make you strong, remember she needs you like you need her, thats what is important in your life.

things will get better you just need to keep talking.

we care xxx

BuntyPenfold · 21/08/2010 22:56

You won't always feel this bad, it will fade, I promise you. Please look after yourself and talk to someone, or post on here.
All these people care about you.

cinpin · 21/08/2010 22:58

come on, whats more important your daughter or a man ?go to bed things will be so much better in the morning your daughter will get you through this.

Obvnotmyrealname · 21/08/2010 23:33

Thanks, I understand all of you who say that my child is more important than any man, that I am too good for him and all that - I believe that myself. Unfortunatley, what I feel is absolutely irrational. I have tried, believe me. I want to slap him and look him in the eye and ask him why, why did he tell me that he loved me, saw me throw my life away for him and then betray me. Why wasn't he able to even look at me today, when all I do is think of him - not that I can do otherwise, even though I've tried. Why doesn't he love me.

At first I used to think this feeling would fade and that eventually, I would feel better. But it's been months now (even years, if I count from the first moment we met and started being 'friends'). The pain has become unbearable. All I do is think of him. I'm not sure it's love anymore, it's more like a disease. I feel trapped and can't get out.

Tonight I text him a short message after we met, letting him know how bad I felt and that I wanted to die. He hasn't replied yet. This confirms my thoughts, he cares nothing about me.

But how can he? He said that he loved me. He told me he wanted to have a child with me. He wrote me letters for several months. He used to kiss me, and we would sleep together the whole night and he would make love to me again, and again... where did all that go? Was it all a lie? Did I deceive him so much, am I so worthless that he doesn't even care enough as to reply to my call out for help?

I am much better now. No, I didn't call the Samaritans, I called my ex instead, because he's still my best friend, and even though he's involved, I thought he could be the only one to understand me. We spoke for two hours. I'm much better now, but when I think of HIM, I feel like such a failure.

I wish I could stop loving him!

OP posts:
Spacehopper5 · 21/08/2010 23:37

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giraffesCantDanceInBrokenHeels · 21/08/2010 23:37

I can hear that you are very upset just now, and understand that although the rational side of you makes you feel your daughter is more important then when you are THAT down and feeling suicidal you dont think like that. Its good you recognise this and thats why its important to get help and support before you get to that stage again. Am pleased you are safe at the moment.

curlymama · 21/08/2010 23:43

It's good that you have come back on here, I hope writing about how you feel has helped.

You sound very confused and hurt. You said the pain has become unbearable, that must be so hard, and when horrible feelings become that strong, it's not surprising that your thoughts turn to suicide.

How do you feel you cope most of the time with the pain?

Did you mean that you called and spoke to another ex for two hours?

ChippingIn · 21/08/2010 23:46

Thank you for coming back and letting us know that you are ok...ish.

I don't know why people do the things they do, I don't know why love sometimes isn't enough... I don't have any of the answers you need.

All I can tell you is that you have a little girl for whom you are the sun & the moon and for her sake as well as your own, you need to speak to a professional who is trained to help you get through this....your ex is obviously a lovely bloke, but he's (I presume anyway?!) not trained to help you get yourself properly sorted.

A few months isn't very long... it will take time :(

But we are always here as well OK
x

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